The Tussel: Wife Vs Mother

Yesterday, I talked about the institution of marriage and how one can make the girl feel at home and make her as comfortable as possible. Certainly it is more challenging for girls to come and adjust in a new family, but have you ever thought as to how a guy’s life would change after he gets married.

On one hand, there is his mom who is very possessive about him and who doesn’t want to share him with anyone. On the other hand there is his wife who believes that he is all hers and that his mother should take a backseat now. The guy’s situation becomes like a man sitting in the middle of a see-saw tilting towards the mother at times and tilting towards the wife at other times.

The questions that haunt him all the time are: Is there any way he can manage both the parties? Is there any way he can bring the mother and wife into reconcilitation? Is it possible to develop a bonhomie between them? Why is it that everytime he comes back from office he is confronted with problems and issues for which he doesn’t seem to have any solution? Whose fault is it and who needs to change: mother or wife? Or should mother and wife accept each other as it is? Is it possible for two women to understand each other’s opinion?

All the above remains unanswered in most cases and what follows is an environment full of tension and anxiety. The girls out there who have just got married and who are about to get married, majority of them, would want to think that the mothers should let go their sons. The mothers would want to believe that the girls need to adjust to the rules/traditions/customs of their families and rahter than thinking that they have got married to the sons should think that they have become a part of a family now.

Who is right and who is wrong? The old school/previous generation would want to go with the “part of the family” argument, whereas the new school/generation would want to go with the “let go” argument.

How wonderful it would be for a guy who wishes to see both his mother and his wife happy if both the parties took few steps towards each other, that it if the mother would let go his son to some extent and the wife would try to become a part of a family rather than just thinking about her husband and herself.

So, all the wives and mothers out there, don’t be so rigid. Everytime you are about to do something, think about the guy as to how he would feel, whether he would feel happy seeing what you did. And I promise you all, you will know what to do.

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5 thoughts on “The Tussel: Wife Vs Mother

  1. My personal view is that a wife should acknowledge the feeling of a mother. after all, we should be thankful to her for moulding such a wonderful person for us :). however, this will not work on a long term basis. so, my advice is to all newly marrieds is – live separately for a while; until you to get used to the life together (this apply to both love marriages and arranged marriages); until you both come certain judgments alone without external opinion; until you understand who the other one is by yourself. once you are comfortable knowing your husband, tolerating a possessive mother in law will not that bigger deal 😀 .. however in my case.. my mother in law is a god-sent 😀

  2. very well said and congrats to u for having such a wonderful mother-in-law 🙂 ….and what Saumya has suggested can be a good idea to start with…..why not give it a try all girls out there 😉

  3. Rachit…..women are many times more stronger than men are atleast emotionally and psychologically 🙂 …..we just cant even try to quantify this trait in a woman….we men are really weak in our minds and hearts though we tend to put up a brave face….soemtimes I wonder at the irony of being a man 🙂

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