“Baby, I love you na!”–Guy
“Jhoot, sab jhoot! You don’t care for me. You keep roaming with friends. You don’t have any time for me.”–Girl
“Of course not baby! You know even when I am around with friends, I keep thinking about you.”–Guy
“Very funny! Then why didn’t you give me a call?”–Girl
“Oh wo to because I was driving na! And moreover my battery was so low that I couldn’t even send you a message.”–Guy
“What rubbish! If you really wanted to talk to me, you could have called me up from your friend’s cell or a PCO.”–Girl
“Hey, guess what! I gotta surprise for you.”–Guy (tries to change the topic of conversation)
Well, these are not dialogues from some movie of the genre of DCH (I am sure you all remember the character played by Saif Ali Khan), but a real life talking example between a girl and a guy, who finally takes a sigh of relief having deviated the girl away from the topic that he so hates to discuss, but is forced to do so anyway, because of the very perseverance shown by the girl.
It’s not that the girl doesn’t understand that the guy is trying to take her away from the crux of the matter, but she believes in letting him go until the next time, as she thinks that she has thrown enough of tantrums for this time, and moreover she awaits thesurprisethat is supposed to be coming her way.
The guy, on the other hand, thinks that how intelligent he is, for managing to escape from the topic and for having restored normalcy in the relationship again. Though, he doesn’t have the slightest of notions about what is in store for him in times to come when this very example and many more would be cited in order to initiate a conversation (more so a fight), which would totally be guided by the mood of the girl.
In short, the guy doesn’t realize that he has become, nothing, but a slave of the wishes of his girlfriend. Soon after, what follows is as good as anyone’s guess. A series of quarrelling which soon turn into serious debates about relationships and what results in the end is a breakup.
On being asked to the guy as to what had resulted in him and his girlfriend resorting to such an action, his answer is pretty much reflective of his understanding and perception about a relation, which is nothing but immensely immature.
Somehow, I have heard and listened to such explanations so often, that there was a time when I seriously started doubting the intention of a girl. The ever reverberating question kept stimulating my mind: What does a girl really want? Is she always after the life of a guy?
On going a bit deeper into the complex nature of the relationship, I realized that it all starts withpep talkwherein a guy tries to do any and everything in order to woo the girl. He resorts to actions which might be totally incompatible with the basic personality of the guy, which in turn develops expectations on part of the girl, which the guy would never be able to fulfill in the future, sheerly because it doesn’t match the very basic nature of the guy.
As a result one can hear the girl saying:Tum to aise nahi the. Kitna badal gaye ho tum,which if we think from the girl’s perspective is so true.
Having said the above, what one really wants to know is whether there is a solution to the whole dynamics that I have described above.
I believe that for any realtionship to succeed, the most important ingredient is honesty. One needs to be honest to both oneself and his/her partner. It is extremely important to put your true self in front of a person whom you are thinking of spending your whole life with.
There is absolutely no requirement what so ever for faking or doing something which you are not capable of doing and which you certainly will not be doing in the future.
At the same time, the girl should understand that there is a general pattern or a curve that every relationship follows. With the relationship becoming more and more mature, things certainly are bound to change. The form of expression of love might change. The depth of conversations might become more mature and serious at times.
This, in no way, is reflective of the fact that the love quotient has gone down between the couple or the relationship has lost the charm that it once had. It is just indicative of a fact that the relationship has become more strong and solid.
In the end, what a guy calls torture is a result of his own activites at times and as a guy, one should try to abide by the principles of honesty.
The question that needs to be understood more than answering is: “Can you honestly love a dishonest thing?”