A little while back, I was browsing through some of my pics which I took while I was in Europe. It reminded me of a coversation that I had with one of my friends who is a French (whom I will call Frenchie from now on ;)) and he is currently living in Paris. If you are wondering why all of a sudden I decided to go back in my memory lane, it is because I just got a message on fb from frenchie inviting me for his marriage which will take place sometime in November.
Without really going into the details of the marriage :P, let me do tell you about this conversation that I had with him when I was in Paris.
“Hey, how is it possible for you guys to do what you end up doing?”—frenchie
“What do we end up doing, buddy?”—me
“Oh, how can you get married to a girl whom you have never met before or for that matter never had an opportunity to spend some time together?”—frenchie
“Well! That’s the case for the majority in India and its very much a part of the societal system that we Indians happen to be a part of. I guess, it comes very natural to us.”—
“Yaaa, I could never do such a thing. Comeon, it can turn out to be a disaster.”—frenchie
“Yes, there is a possibility, but then don’t you think the chance, if not equal, is still there when you end up marrying a person of your own choice, though the probability seems to be lesser as compared to that in case of an arranged marriage.”—me
“Hmm! I guess you have a point, else why would there be so many divorce happening around among the current generation in Europe.”–frenchie
“See, at the end of the day, what matters is whether you are able to maintain and nurture the compatibility which people believe tends to come on its own, but least to their expectations, it needs to be nurtured and a lot of effort needs to be put in, in order to ensure that the compatibility grows leaps and bounds, which is so essential for a harmonious and loving relationship.”—me
“But don’t you think you will be compromising in such a situation?”—frenchie
“It depends on how you want to perceive such an act. For some, it might look like a compromise, but for others it might just be a gesture to show how much one wants to be with another person and what all he or she is ready to sacrifice for the moments that they end up spending together as a part and parcel of their relationship.”—me
“Then what if it takes a toll on you and you realize that it has been you who has been putting all the effort without the other person reciprocating for the same. Don’t you think you will really get frustrated about the whole scenario?”—frenchie
“Yes, you might get frustrated. In such a situation you can take either of the two courses that I am about to tell you. One is: that you go by what the philosophers in the field of love have to tell you about love and that is to love a person selfishly without really worrying about the returns, which I agree might be too much to ask for from this pragmatic World of which we all happen to be a part of. Second is: you should talk to the other person and should try to convey what you might be going through and what expectations you might be having from your better half, and then try to sit together and resolve the issue amongst yourselves; which seems to be a more pragmatic course of action.”–me
“You should be a counselor man! What are you doing in this business school? 😉 “–frenchie
“Yaaaa! Totally! 🙂 “—me
And that was the last conversation I had with him before leaving Paris. Today, he is in a relationship (already engaged) and guess what he is about to get married arrangedly.
With the kind of persona, this man has, I have no doubts what so ever that by now he might have already mastered what I call the art of marriage and would be all set to put into practice the very same art.
I would take this opportunity to wish him from my side and from all of you out there who are reading this article : Wishing him and his better half all the very best for the future. 🙂
But guys out there, who are already married and who are yet to master this art, what are you all waiting for? Christmas! ;). Wishing all the married couples all the best on this journey of life where they would be trying to master this very ART OF MARRIAGE.