Arranged Marriage: Guy’s Perspective!

Carrying on with my love for arranged marriage, this one is inspired from none other than a very good friend of mine who has supposedly turned a shayar from a seedha saadha aadmi (what Congress might want to refer to as the aam aadmi) and is in the form of a conversation (more like a one-way conversation) that ensued between him (F) and myself (M) not over a cup of coffee this time but over a bottle of scotch, which is one of the most preferred and obviously not the recommended way of getting rid of that hesitation that makes you worry about what the other person sitting in front of you might think about your credentials and pass judgement based on his perception of what kind of person you are. (Mind you, all this conversation ensued when was five pegs down)AM

Yaar, I feel very blessed these days. After all I am getting married. I have never experienced such a thing before. Guess, what I think and I believe that I am in love.”—F

“Hmmmmmmmm :)”—-M

“But I don’t know why the hell this world and all my friends are after me trying to figure out what big a deal is it to get married. It was only yesterday that Mr. gave me a call. He sounded more surprised than happy to hear about my marriage. Seeing me all too excited, the first thing he mentioned was why I am getting so impatient and irrationally happy. My reply was, isn’t it obvious for a guy who had been waiting for it to happen for so long and had undergone what can truly be referred to as a mental trauma in trying to figure out the best match for himself.”—F

Hmm, absolutely. And it is good to be happy. Right!”—M

Ya, that was what I was trying to explain to him. But his version was that there is no need to change oneself for anyone. What crap! It is bound to have some kind of impact on my life in a positive way that is. You know what the problem is, all these ghochoos use to make fun of me in college that no girl would ever become my girlfriend and that they would certainly get married before me. Now the tables have turned and they are not able to digest the fact that the yesteryear ghochoo has now become today’s bond. Ego, you see, is a sure killer. Even Sigmund Freud wouldn’t have imagined, how fatal these egos can be!”—F

And he continued:

It is not that I want bad for them. But at least they should be happy that their ghochoo has become a bond. What’s the problem in accepting a simple fact that everyone has a bond hidden somewhere inside him. It is up to that individual to bring out that bond in himself and prove to the world that no ghochoo is a born ghochoo and no bond is a born bond. It is how shared and non-shared environment act upon an individual to give him a personality through which he is recognized in this world apart from the Genes that one is happy or sad to inherit from his parents. Why I say, sad, is that at times people are not too happy with the kind of genes they got as a consequence of being born in a family over which they don’t seem to have any control. But then too, I feel they should feel happy that at least they were born a human and not a filthy creature for which there is always a possibility if we were to accept what the Hindu mythology tells us all.”—F

And there he was in no mood to halt.

You know, I was rejected by four girls. Yes, I know I am not that good looking. I know, I am not that smart when it comes to speaking my mind out. I know, I am not that happening and modern like the urbane guys. But I am a good individual :(.”—-F

And then there was silence, only to be broken again by none other than F.

You see, it is not only the girls who have to go through all the shitty things before they end up getting married. It is also the guys who, at times, have to go through a lot more than what can ever be imagined in this man-dominated society we seem to be living in. Trust me, it is not so easy to get married. It is only when your parents are fully convinced about the girl’s and the girl’s family’s credentials that you are made to meet the girl. Then too, you don’t know what you are going to talk to the girl and how on earth would it be possible for you to figure out whether the girl will supposedly meet all the expectations that your family has from her. And if at all, you trust your judgement and go ahead with your decision, then too you are blamed for your lack of judgement and stupidity in case some thing bad happens.”—-F

He was too drunk and he kept speaking.

And that’s what exactly happened in the previous case. You know, I was engaged before this, right. Everything was good and then one fine morning, this girl calls me to inform that she is calling off the marriage and the reason she gave was that she hadn’t told me before about her boyfriend who had now agreed to marry her. It’s so ridiculous, at the same time funny, where these girls consider it as a joke and a game of poker where in they want to and get to chose the best available alternate.”—-F

There was silence again for a second time. And then he finally opened up.

Dude, I have no grudges against anyone. You see, what is in destiny is bound to happen, no matter whether anyone wants or not; no matter whether your friends call you ghochoo or bond; no matter whether there are numerous hurdles that need to be crossed over before you reach your final goal and no matter whether you are rejected by a couple more girls. Now, tell me who is a ghochoo?:)”—Fom-shanti-om

And then he spoke no more. He was too drunk to speak and had fallen asleep.

As I got up to clear the left overs, it reminded me of a dialogue from a movie which goes something like this, अंत तक सब कुछ ठीक ही हो जाता है, और अगर ना हो तो पिक्चर अभी बाकी है मेरे दोस्त”.

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