How could have I left the fairer sex out of this whole discussion? Wouldn’t I be labeled very much a male chauvinist if I were to dare even think about such a thing? Moreover, I am, myself a proponent of women empowerment, so going by the standards that I have set for myself, here I am about to present to you what a girl’s take would be on such a topic as this.
Now, for the male perspective, I had someone to bank upon. For the female perspective, after toiling hard for an entire fortnight, I had finally found someone whom I often refer to as Hyde and who was kind enough to offer her opinions. By the way, when a girl speaks, it is better not to interrupt her. So, in this case, no conversation ensued, it was only Hyde talking and me listening to her :).
“You know what, this whole arranged marriage thing is such a crap. Someone will come and see you and then will pass a judgement upon what kind of person you are or what kind of family you have been brought up in. And you are expected to keep mum and listen to whatever the groom’s family has to say about you and your family.
I have been through this on a number of occasions. Sometimes, it is because of the so called legitimate demands citing “rasmein” as a reason and on other occasions, it is because the guy didn’t find me too attractive. Who knows what’s the guy expecting considering that he doesn’t even match up to being a decent looking person and more importantly a decent human being.
The other day, a gentleman, who has just got selected in the Indian Engineering Service happened to visit my parents, along with his family. Upon arrival, even before they have had their snacks, the guy’s father came directly to the point. He started to talk about the marriage market that is prevalent in India and our society and the kind of rates that have been offered for his son in this market.
He went on and on about the kind of proposals that had come his way and are continuing to pour in. As if this had not yet satisfied his ever growing ego, he went on talking about how his son had been a topper all through and how he had always kept their head held high in society.
I don’t even want to mention the other crappy things that he said to boost his ego. The fact is that a girl never wants to go in a family where she is supposed to compromise all her individuality. I know, that we are conditioned and socialized to compromise at all times, since our childhood, but even then we would want a husband who can understand the kind of situation that we girls tend to find ourselves in most of the time.
I am not saying that we are trying to run away from our responsibilities. But with changing times and with more and more girls contributing to the finances of a family, it needs to be understood that responsibilities now need to be shared, in order to ensure that the girl is not overburdened with the same.
One just needs a heart to understand all that I have said. The problem is that humanity is losing its essence. More than our emotions, it is the profit-making attitude at any cost that is killing the empathy that one needs to have towards another person. Sometimes, I wonder why is it so difficult to place yourself in another person’s shoes to understand what he or she might be going through in that particular situation? Why is it that we have become so self-centred and rigid? Why is it that we tend to ignore the aspects from which we cannot make profits? Why is it that the garb of traditionalism is used to explain certain practices that are rationally wrong and need to be abandoned as a whole?
Trust me, it is much easier to be born a guy in our society. From childhood itself, there are n number of restrictions that we are supposed to abide by just because we happened to be born in a male-dominated society who is all too eager to maintain his power over the fairer sex and use it for their glorification.
Coming back to the marriage issue, somehow I have started believing in the notion that marriages are made somewhere up there. Whether it turns out to be a Hell or a Heaven, that needs to be figured out by the mortals living down here.”
Source for Image: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022636094