Why Baby!

It’s not what you are thinking,

Nothing to do with the babies, gfs and bfs of the world,


Definitely has to do with the kids in our lives,

Courtesy the nature of curiosity,

Kids certainly ask umpteen questions,

Be it wondering about why a butterfly flies and an ant doesn’t,


Be it wanting to know the logic behind not jumping off the terrace like a superman,

The kids want to know it all,

Question being,

What kind of adults are we?


Who shuts out all queries and tell kids to mind their own business,



Who entertains the same queries and enable them to find answers,

No matter how one chooses to behave,

The way one acts will determine how and whom kids will become in the future,


If we are someone who wants to see this world prosper and grow in a sustainable fashion,

I guess it’s high time we make the right choice baby!

Source for the Image: https://artprojectsforkids.org/how-to-draw-a-butterfly/


Don’t talk to Strangers!

Possibly the most common thing told to all kids by their parents,

Irrespective of caste, class or religion,

Across geographies and beyond borders,

Universally applicable and much accepted,


Have you ever wondered whether such teachings have even the slightest relevance in this era of Internet that we all live in?

Every day, kids are interacting with all kinds of strangers,

Be it on social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram etc.


Be it dating platforms such as Tinder, Bumble etc.

Getting influenced each day,

Building their thought process every hour,

Getting exposed to all sorts of content,

As a parent, it’s but natural to be worried of where this can drive their kids to!

More than worrying though, what helps is,

To work towards building trust and ladder of communication between themselves and their kids,

To try and become friends who hear them out whenever they need someone to,


To be able to unconditionally devote time and energy for the kids’ well being.

Parents out there have a choice,

To be or not to be, A parent that is!

Source for the Image: https://unsplash.com/s/photos/stranger

Crying Kid!

At times, when you are not doing something so called meaningful, meaningful things happen. 

Just noticed, that a kid has kept on crying for more than 10 minutes in a nearby apartment. 

Don’t really know the reason, but makes me wonder whether that’s how future is going to be for most of the kids with the kind of education system we have in place. 

An education system which kills all curiosity and an ability to question would surely lead our kids and thereby society in that direction. 

Not just kids, we adults are often found to be crying over one thing or the other,

Be it the boss screwing us up today with shit load of work,

Spouse quarrels, 

Traffic jams, 

Physical discomfort, 

What not!

Simply being unable to handle different challenging situations at different points of time in our lives, 

Which takes us back to the crying kid, 

What if:

The crying kid was catered to in a manner so that he/she would be able to manage his/her state of mind, 

Adult stakeholders (parents, relatives, teachers, siblings etc), 

Providing him/her the tools to be able to do so,

Giving him/her enough time and attention which was needed to just hear them out, 

Being that eternal friend, philosopher and guide that he/she might be craving for, 


Most importantly, not imposing our own grown up expectations on the kid, 

Would the crying kid grow up to become the crying adult? 

Well, chances are less, though one can always argue on the pretext of one’s destiny. 

But wasn’t destiny about taking control of our own lives, I wonder!

Source for the Image: https://www.pixtastock.com/illustration/57285109, https://www.vhv.rs/viewpic/hTxRRJm_kid-in-tears-clipart-boy-crying-clipart-png/


Where is this all heading?

Well being or a disaster?

Many psychological scientific studies tell us that kids learn what they observe.

No matter how much one preaches, they learn by observing what’s happening around them.

The question is are they being exposed to the right kind of environment that they should be?


The tv shows, and movies depicting all kinds of violence,

The fights that happen in the family,

The never ending effort of trying to fulfill the pleasures of life becoming a benchmark from such a young age,

As a parent, does that mean keeping one’s kids in a protective environment,

Making them go to schools, which demonstrate the right set of values,

Yes and no!


For they would surely be exposed to the practicalities of this society, the existing situations,

Which they would need to face and make a choice for themselves,

Does it mean giving them the right tools to be able to make that all important choice?

That’s where charitra nirmaan (building one’s character) becomes the key to their well being and in turn that of the society.

One may ask how can this be done?

Well, to each their own, few may say,

The fundamentals of it though, for parents remain the same,

Be it treating your kids as adults and spending with them as much time that one can, discussing the intricacies of why the kids consider something as right or wrong,

Be it leading by example, and becoming role models for your kids to emulate,

Be it inculcating a critical feeling of inclusiveness in them, for their well being lies in the well being of others and the society,

No matter whether your parents did it with you!

No matter whether you had to learn it the hard way!

No matter there was no friend, philosopher or guide holding your hands at every step!

May be the time has come for all parents/elders to do all that what their dharma of being in the capacity tells them to.

Source for the Image: https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/kids-learning-vector-7708997

Talking to the Source!

I don’t know, it’s just that my parents wanna get me through to IITs, so be it!“,

When such is the reply coming from a very bright 17 year old girl on being asked casually as to what she would want to do in her life, then surely there is a cause for concern.

As a society, when you see kids committing suicide, reason being not getting good marks or not being able to qualify a particular exam, we need to delve into it at a much deeper level on an immediate basis.

Just imagine the stress and anxiety that kid might have gone through before taking such a drastic step.

What is it that we are trying to inculcate in our kids as parents?

Many parents argue that it’s for their kid’s good that they are pushing them to be successful in life.



Is being sad a part of that very success story?

Is feeling anxious about not being able to fulfil their parents’ dream a part of the process?

Is taking to drugs a reasonable part of their response to the kind of expectations parents have from them?


As parents, are we reinforcing all the above, by pushing them towards the most undesirable thing in their lives at a point in time?

Why, the very source of creation, becomes an enabler for the impending disaster?

Why, the very nurturer becomes the destroyer?

Why, the very so called good intentions, become malign?

For parents, you are the ones who would enable the creation of a sensible or a nonsensical society!

Choice is yours, so why not be sensible about it,

Some food for thought for parents of our generation!

Source for the Image: https://www.ypad4change.org/suggested-dance-parent-etiquette/

Million Dollar Job!

Let me start by what it is not:

An Investment banker who makes every second of his day count into making loads of money;

A startup tycoon, who has tread the hard steps to become what he/she is today;

An IAS officer who, among all the competition has managed to secure for himself the most coveted of posts;

A Scientist or a researcher, who has to his/her credit numerous published papers and books and might be the most wanted expert in his field;

Wondering, what it could be?

One that most of us have come across possibly each day of our lives for the past whatever years, we have been in existence;

One which most of us take for granted;

One which is nothing but a natural consequence of being here;

One on which we can depend on without the give and take norms of the society;

One which, few amongst us, might have already had the fortune of attaining that status;

Being a PARENT. 


Comes with lot of pleasure and an ability of being able to act the very agent of the source of creation;

Though, the role, if not performed well, has drastic consequences for not only the life whom we have brought into this world, but also for the society and in turn the ecosystem at large.

What follows just after the birth is a roller coaster where you go through the ups and downs;

Yet, one thing that cannot be taken from one as a parent is the possibility of directing the life into becoming a sensible being;

Which requires a dedicated commitment from the parents for a minimum of 18-20 years, where one tries to make sure that the individual evolves into a sensible being;

Capable of looking beyond what’s obvious and being able to make conscious decisions, which leads the world into a sustainable place to live in;

For few, the very process of parenting results in stress and discomfort; one needs to deliberate the very nature of the same;

What’s needed for a parent is to become sensible himself/herself before one treads the path;

So, just before deciding whether we want to become a parent or not;

Don’t you think, it’s sensible enough to ponder over the very sensibility of the act and the process!

Shopping Wopping!

I would want to believe that majority of guys don’t like shopping when it comes to your wives and girlfriends dragging you to the market place especially after a plethora of emotional dialogues and blackmail, and leaving you with no other choice but to comply to their sweet will.

Some of you might toe in line and pretend to like the very idea thinking that since you are already there, you might as well enjoy the entire experience. The rest, on the other hand, would crib and act as if they are going through the torture of their lives, making it sure that the girlfriend or the wife comes to know about the same and hoping that they wouldn’t be dragged from next time around, but little do they realize they would not only become a punching bag for their better halves on reaching home but would also have to go through a hell lot of serious torture while trying to provide a proof of your love towards your better half.shopping

Intelligent are those who tend to pretend liking the entire shopping experience as they are then treated by their better halves in the most wonderful and sensual of mannerism which any guy could die for.

Does it mean that every guy should try to alter the very core of their personalities and start liking shopping? Well, not really but surely you should at least give it a thought and try to fall in the former category in case you want your love life to remain peaceful at all times.

But won’t it mean compromising too much? Wasn’t it meant to be a give and take relationship? Wasn’t it meant to be a mutually desirable and pleasurable experience?

If you guys out there are wondering about all the above questions, then you are true to the core persona, but little do you realize that when you tend to enter into a relationship, it is 90% of the time that women have a knack of making you do what you might least want to do, considering the kind of manipulation power and in turn intelligence that they seem to be born with.

I wonder why women have a stereotypical view of being called stupid and are labelled such by our society. If anyone in this world has a doubt regarding whether they are or not, might want to think about it again after giving recognition to the wonderful knack that they have developed in pursuing a guy to toe to their will.

Well, this is just one perspective and it would be unfair on my part, if I fail to present the views of the fairer sex on the same.shopping wopping

For a girl, shopping is equivalent to a lifeline that they get in return for what all they go through during their life. It is similar to a guy’s lifeline of say watching IPL or any sports or pursuing any particular hobby that is so near and dear to him.

It surely makes them happy. A guy would wonder why and how spending nearly half the guy’s income can make anybody happy, but the truth is, that it does for majority of the girls. After all, it is about maintaining a certain level of happiness quotient in life, which they do so by indulging in shopping. Not to mention that there are indeed mature souls on this planet who take a different view altogether and who spend only when there is enough to spend and do not dive into a careless spree of buying anything and everything that comes to their mind.

Recently, I happened to be talking to one such mature lady, a relative (R) of mine (M), with whom I happened to have a wonderful conversation regarding shopping.

You know, it feels really nice when my husband asks me to go out with him to the market place. It does not necessarily mean that I would spend money but just the idea of my husband taking care of my feelings and giving what I want a consideration makes me happy.”—–R

Yes, I can understand. It feels that the other person cares for you.”—-M

Ya, absolutely! Also, I like seeing new things. I like witnessing the kind of fashion that is prevalent now a days. I like to do window shopping more than actually going out there and buying every possible item I can think of. It is also about spending some quality time with your husband which you normally don’t get a chance because you are so engrossed in your daily routine and don’t find time for such activities. It is very much a break for all ladies.”—-R

True. And everyone desires a change from the monotony that ensues courtesy the kind of Indian society we all happen to live in, where the woman in the house, at least from your generation is expected to get up everyday in the morning and is expected to take care of all the needs of not only the husband and children but also the entire family, ranging from grandfather to brother-in-laws, especially in a joint family.”—-M

Ya, and see how wonderfully we do this job, without any complaints and with full devotion. It looks pretty easy but can be really taxing and tiring. No man can take on such a responsibility because they are not made that way by God. I guess he had special plans when it came to taking care of the family needs and every woman of my generation should take great pride in the things we do.”—-R

True, and hats off to all the ladies and my mother for having done so for so long.”—-M

Ok, you tell me. Men call it a give and take relationship. So, for what we do, don’t we deserve an evening out with the man in our lives, where we can get to enjoy buying new things, which by the way, most of the times are related to the needs of the family and the household. So it is not that we are always buying something for ourselves. We buy keeping in mind everything that might be required by the family. In a way, we are still on duty keeping every little thing in our mind at all times and ensuring that everyone remains happy in our house. After hearing all this, you tell me, whether it is too much a demand that our husbands always seem to crib about?”—-R

Well, I had no answer to the last question that she asked and I seemed a totally transformed person after the entire conversation. Indeed the woman of our lives does take care of all the things that we can possibly think of. In different roles whether it be of a daughter, or a wife or a mother, she tends to fulfill every little expectation that the society has from her. Doesn’t she deserve a better treatment from all the guys?shopping boy

Come on, guys! It is not much that is being asked of you. And I am sure that all of us are capable of doing much better in life :).

Source for Image: http://creoleindc.typepad.com/rantings_of_a_creole_prin/shopping/, http://www.thymegraphics.co.uk/products.asp?cat=37, http://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/shopping-girl-and-boy-vector-499613

How I met my Saalis!

When you are married, and when you happen to be the lucky one (as they say) to have the number of saalis (sister-in-laws) that I have, and on top of that when your wife happens to be a part of a well-knit family and happens to share an amazingly good relationship with each one of them, then you surely got to be on your toes ;).

If you are wondering that I have been hit by the wedding bug, then you are not that wrong, and what can be considered as a rational and natural progression from my last post, it is but natural for me to talk about who other than my saalis. 

This reminds me of the tv show by the name of How I met your mother! and would take the liberty of transforming it just a little bit to title my current post as How I met my Saalis!

It is said in our Indian tradition that the in-laws house for a groom would look all deserted and incomplete if there were no saalis to make the same house look so happening and filled with enthusiasm.

Just imagine, you enter your in-laws house and you find your father-in-law lying on his couch and watching the same old tv soaps with your mother-in-law making all efforts in this world to make you feel comfortable. How dull and boring would it get after a certain point of time and you would feel like running away from the same, not because you don’t respect your in-laws but just because after a while, it gets boring.

To their credit, saalis are the ones who tend to get rid of the boredom and keep the entire house vibrant. Many a times, they tend to belong to the same age group. What can be better than this as you tend to share the same kind of thinking and perceptions about various things in life.

And when they happen to be as talkative as mine are, then you don’t even have to go that extra mile to start any sort of conversation. Before you realize, you already tend to become a part of a conversation, about which you might not have any clue what so ever, yet you find yourself totally engulfed in the chit-chat that ensues thereafter, and surprisingly you enjoy it to the core.

Now coming back to how I happened to meet each one of them, if I remember correctly, the first time I had the fortune of meeting them all was on the day of my engagement. But there was one among them, whom I had met earlier, courtesy one of my visits to Delhi, who happened to introduce each of them to me.'My wife said it was up to me - I could come to her sister's wedding, or go to Vegas with you and the guys. Guess what I chose?'

Little shy, that they looked in first instance, my perception was turned 180 degree round, as I began to interact with them on a more regular basis. 🙂 I will admit that it feels absolutely wonderful when you are being imparted such importance and you feel like the most important person on this planet earth, that might be one of the primary reasons why guys love to visit their in-laws place (taking a clue from one of my chachas (uncles) who in my opinion is really fond of visiting his in-laws place).

It is said that though from times immemorial, it is the sons who have been given more importance, in reality it is the daughters who tend to be more caring, more loving and certainly more supportive of their parents than the sons (which can surely be seen in today’s materialistic and selfish world wherein the sons tend to forget their responsibility of taking care of their parents in their old age, when they need them the most).

It is absolutely wonderful to see all my saalis be so much more responsible and so much more understanding and caring for their parents, than any other typical 21st century guy would. And the credit for such upbringing certainly goes, first to their grandparents and secondly to their parents, who have toiled day-in-day-out just to make sure, that they all get the best from this world and they all are made to grow into responsible and caring individuals, that they certainly are, today.

And when you happen to have so many of them, then you are often asked this question of who’s your favorite? Somehow, you don’t want to be caught up in this dilemma or trilemma etc. depending on the number of saalis that you have, for you don’t want to end up being Arjun from Mahabharata, and you certainly don’t want to go through the same dharam-sankat as he once had to ;).

For my part, I would always want the best for each one of them and would like to wish them all the very best in all the endeavors that they undertake during the course of their lives, and would advise them to keep rocking as they always do ;).

Source for Image:  http://www.jantoo.com/cartoons/keywords/sister-in-law

The Arranged Marriage!

कहने वाले कहते हैं कि कहीं और शादी हो ना हो पर हमारे देश में शादी तो होनी ही होनी है. वैसे तो होनी को कौन टाल सकता है, मगर आज के समय में शादी कर पाना किसी प्रोजेक्ट से कम नहीं रह गया है. पूरी शिद्दत से इस प्रोजेक्ट को अंजाम तक पहुचने का हौसला होना केवल काफी नहीं रह गया है, इस कार्य को पूर्ण रूप से संपन्न करने के लिए वहां कहीं ऊपर बैठे हुए हमारे इश्वर के आशिर्वाद की भी अत्यंत ज़रुरत पड़ती है.

आज कल तो माता पिता भी कभी कभी अपने बेटे या बेटी से ये उम्मीद रखते हैं कि वे किसी अच्छे से लड़की या लड़के को पसंद करके उनके सामने प्रकट कर दे जिससे वो इस पूरे लड़के या लड़की को ढूँढने के परिक्ष्रम से बच जाये. और खुदा ना खास्ता अगर ऐसा नहीं हो पाता है तो सबसे पहली और सबसे महत्त्वपूर्ण चीज़ जिसपे वो अपना ध्यान केन्द्रित करते है, वो है कि लड़का लड़की एक दूसरे को पसंद आने चाहिए.Arranged-marriage-image

कल ही मैं अपनी नानी जी से बात कर रहा था. “बेटा हमारे समय में तो हमारे माता पिता ही लड़का पसंद करके आ जाते थे और हमें वही शादी के लिए अपनी रजामंदी देने के सिवा कोई और चारा नहीं होता था. फूटी किस्मत देखो मेरी, तुम्हारे नानाजी से शादी कर मैं कितना पछता रही हूँ ;). आज का ज़माना तो बदल गया है. तुम लोगों को तो पहले लड़की पसंद आनी चाहिए वरना तुम लोग तो ऐसे हो कि मंडप से ही भाग जाओगेवैसे मेरा मानना है कि समय के साथ साथ इंसान की सोच में भी परिवर्तन आना अत्यंत आवश्यक है, वरना हम जैसे नाना नानी और दादा दादी तुम्हारी पीढ़ी के लोगों को कैसे समझ पाएंगे 🙂 और ये दोनों पीढ़ियों के लिए अच्छा है. इसी से घर में शान्ति बरकरार रहती है और एक अत्यंत ही खुशियों से पूर्ण वातावरण घर में बना रहता है. ”

ये तो रही घर में खुशियाँ बरकरार रहने की बात. लेकिन खुशियाँ तो तब आएँगी जब पहले एक सुशील और अच्छी बहु घर में आएगी. ये बहु को चुनने की प्रक्रिया भी अजीब ही होती है. शुरू में दोनों परिवारों के बड़े एक दूसरे से मिलते हैं. अगर सब कुछ उन्हें ठीक लगता है, तभी लड़के को लड़की से मिलवाया जाता है. बहुत बार ऐसा होता है कि बात दोनों परिवारों के बड़ों तक ही सीमित रह जाती है.

लड़के और लड़की को मिल पाने का मौका भी नहीं मिल पाता है. और मान लो सब कुछ जान भूजने के बाद अगर लड़का लड़की इश्वर कि कृपा से मिलते भी हैं, तो भी उन्हें ये समझ नहीं आता कि वो एक दूसरे से ऐसी क्या बात करें कि उन्हें ये पता चल जाये कि वही उनके लिए सही जीवनसाथी है. ऐसे में बातें एक दूसरे की हौबीस तक ही सीमित रह जाती हैं. हाँ एक दूसरे को देख कर मन में शादी के लड्डू ज़रूर फूटते नज़र आ सकते हैं.

मिलने के पश्चात, दोनों परिवार अपने बच्चों के हाथ धोके पीछे पढ़ जाते हैं ये जानने के लिए कि उन्हें जीवनसाथी के रूप में मिलवाया गया इंसान कैसा लगा. अगर जवाब हाँ में होता है तब तो मानो दोनों परिवारों की समस्या का समाधान हो जाता है, लेकिन अगर जवाब ना में होता है तो फिर लड़की और लड़के दोनों को इस ना के पीछे छुपे राज़ का पर्दा फाश करने को कहा जाता है और एक बार फिर दोनों परिवार अपने बच्चों की ना को हाँ में बदलने के लिए एक बार फिर पूरे तन्न मन धन से उनके पीछे लग जाते हैं.

अगर मामला गंभीर होता नज़र आता है और बच्चों की सोच उनको सही लगती है, तो परिवार के बुजुर्ग अपने  बच्चों की बात मान लेते हैं और फिर से किसी और परिवार के साथ यही प्रक्रिया को शुरू करने में लग जाते हैं और तब तक लगे रहते हैं जब तक वो इस कार्य को पूरी निष्ठा से पूर्ण ना कर ले.

एक ओर जहाँ माता पिता अपने प्रयास को आगे बढ़ाते हैं, वहीँ दूसरी ओर लड़का थक हार कर अपने मन में बसे अपने जीवन साथी की तस्वीर को थोडा सा और सच्चाई के करीब लाने की कोशिश में लग जाता हैं. शुरू में तो सबको कैटरिना जैसी लड़की ही चाहिए होती है, धीरे धीरे उनको समझ में आ जाता है, की अगर उन्हें शादी करनी है तो शायद उन्हें किसी आम लड़की को ही अपनी पत्नी के रूप में स्वीकार करना होगा, क्योंकि वो भी कोई रणबीर तो है नहीं कि उन्हें कैटरिना मिल जाये.GOD

अन्तथा पूरी शिद्दत से करे हुए प्रयत्न हेतु ऐसा दिन आ ही जाता है जब लड़का लड़की के साथ साथ दोनों परिवारों का मिलन होता है. जहाँ एक तरफ दोनों परिवारों के सदस्य जीवन के इस पड़ाव की खुशियों में डूब जाते हैं, वहीँ दूसरी तरफ, वहीँ उपर बैठे हमारे इश्वर उनके इस हर्षो उल्लास को देखकर मन ही मन कह रहे होते हैं, “बेटा अभी तो ज़िन्दगी शुरू हुई है, आगे आगे देखिये होता है क्या” 😉

Source for Image: http://whimsical-saga.blogspot.in/2011/12/indian-penchant-for-arranged-marriages.html, http://wasdarwinwrong.com/kortho24.htm

Being a Parent to your Child!

It seems like ages have gone by and here I am once again returning back to something that I so love doing. It is not that I didn’t have ideas to deliberate upon or think upon. Neither was it a lack of love towards what I generally call my hobby, though for some it might be a matter of bread and butter.

It might sound a cliche that for the past couple of days had just flown by without me realizing that it had been a while before I have had the opportunity to log on to my blog and look at what’s going on in the same. How often have you guys have had the same kind of experience of time just running away and you trying to catch up with the speed with which it seems to outrun you on every occasion?

It is very much like a cat and mouse game, similar to what we have seen in Tom and Jerry, where we know what’s going to be the outcome of the chase, yet we end up indulging in the same, for the want of the very activity that seems to propel us forward every time we think about the same.priority4

Somehow, I have realized that it is nearly impossible to do everything in the world that you might want to do or accomplish in life. Thinking about the to-do list that you might have prepared for yourself might give you jitters and might even end up giving you high BP and lot of stress.

I guess that’s why the entire concept of priority came into being. By putting all the content that you might have gathered in your to-do list and re-organizing it into a priority list might help you become more focus at the same time, make sure that you put all your efforts and energy into that one particular aim that you happen to find at the top of your priority list, rather than wondering about how you will be able to accomplish the rest of the things mentioned in your to-do list.

And by slowly moving towards the other items taking each one at a time, having successfully accomplished the first, not only gives you more confidence and motivation but also helps you overcome the stress associated with the thought process which always leaves that 1% chance of what if I am unable to accomplish what I had initially set for?

Isn’t it always good to be working without too much pressure on your shoulders? Which brings us to a point where parents in today’s world are expecting a lot of things from their kids. I often see kids with big bags on their shoulders going to tuition and coaching right after their school and ending up getting exhausted, just because their parents want them to outperform their best friend’s son or daughter, giving very little importance to what the kid might be interested in doing.hitting child

I know it is easier said than done and every parent wants their kid to reach the top of the ladder, but the thing that needs to be deliberated upon and argued is whether the parents are adopting the right approach when they end up forcing their child to do something which he or she might be totally averse to.

The other day, parents of a 16 year old, happened to visit, thinking that I might be able to help them with their so called self-perceived problem that their child happened to be facing.

After the initial introduction, the parents started talking about what all their child was doing wrong and the bad habits that their child had developed over time.

You see, he doesn’t listen to us. He is always into video games. I don’t know what to do with him. He has lost all his focus. He doesn’t even understand how his future is shaping up. If he continues to do so, how will he able to get through IITs.”—–Parents 

After having spoken for another 10-15 minutes, they finally took a deep breath, waiting for me to give them the magic wand that they believed would change their child’s future.

I am glad that you are concerned about your child. Very few parents, in today’s busy World are concerned about their kids. Many a times, they are found busy enjoying with their respective colleagues and friends. But Mr. X, have you ever spoken to your child about what you think would be good for him? Have you ever tried to understand what all things he might be going through in his school or coaching? 

Have you ever talked to your son about what he might want to do with his life? Mr. X, these are things that we as parents tend to forget about. Remember the days, when you yourself was a kid and how you would do things that your parents wouldn’t approve off, at times even indulging in things like smoking or drinking. Now, since you have become parents, you have stopped thinking like what it is like to be a child.

I am sure, Mr. X, that you want the best for your child, but then have you ever thought about his ambitions and his aim in life, what he might want to become or what aspirations he might have for himself. Mr. X, I have seen kids go into depression and indulge in unwanted activities like doing drugs etc, just because they are not able to convince their own parents that they are different from other children and need their own space and time to develop and grow into productive individuals in society, just because they don’t trust their parents to understand what they have to offer to them. 

More often than not, it is we parents who end up on the wrong side of the table not being able to understand and give support to our son’s or daughter’s wishes and ambitions. I am not saying that they are right in whatever they might be thinking, but then isn’t it better to discuss with them why some things are good and why some are not. That’s where, you as a parent, have to chip in with your advice and opinions that you have gathered over a huge span of time and the kind of experience that you have gained over your lifetime. After all your hair have not grown grey just like that :). 

Mr. X, isn’t it better to develop that faith and trust in your child towards you that no matter what happens to him, you will always be there to provide him with that unconditional support that he so deserves for being your child. Think of the times, when you craved for a son, and when he is there with you, you are not appreciating to the fullest the fact that you have been bestowed with a gift that you had so craved for. 

Mr. X, be gentle with him. Discuss his problems like a friend without being too judgmental about his opinions and views, even though they might be wrong. Listen to what he has to say to you, and if you think that there is something wrong in his thought process, then try to tell him things that you think are right at the same time giving reasons and concrete examples on why you think it as the right opinion or point of view in an extremely polite and gentle manner. 

I am sure, Mr. X, that this will go a long way in you developing a rapport with him, just like you have always wished for and your efforts will certainly pay off sometime in the near future.parent-child-relationship

We chatted for some more time, after which, the parents took my leave. Though I had spoken my heart out and had tried convincing them of the virtues of being an understanding parent, I wonder when that time would come when all the parents in this world would begin to accept their child in the manner he or she is, without making any comparison with the kid-next-door, without worrying about whether the kid will be successful in keeping the family’s flag flying high, without expecting too much from him or her and loving him or her unconditionally for what he or she is.

Source for Image: http://www.scfamilylaw.com/2013/07/11/study-examines-the-effects-of-divorce-on-childrens-relationships-later-in-life/http://menz.org.nz/menz-issues/june-1998/http://blog.patsnap.com/?p=468