The Unsung Intelligence!

How many times have you heard statements such as these: “are tum karti hi kya ho? mujhse poochon mujhe kya kya karna padta hai office mein.”

A very common monologue that you might have heard the men in our society iterate this to their better halves at every chance they get to demonstrate their superiority (at least this is the case for the majority of the families in India, I am not referring to the modern lot here, who might have been able to get rid of the monkey off their backs, explicitly if not implicitly).

Somehow, the paternalisitc society that we all live in tend to make the women in their respective families look very small, ignoring completely the significant contribution they have to make towards their families’ growth, in turn enhacing the well being of the family.

As a result, the women in our society tend to have a distorted self-image which in turn have a bearing on their confidence and personality.

As far as playing their respective part and role in a relationship is concerned, this is beyond doubt that they tend to give in much more than what their male counterpart has to offer.

Still, they don’t end up getting their due share of respect and appreciation that they so deserve. For those guys who think just the above, let me tell you that your conception about the value that your better half might be adding to your life is totally distorted.

From getting up in the morning and taking care of all the chores to making sure that everything gets done on time for you is not so simple as it might look to you. Those men who have had the opportunity to do all this for just a day would completely want to agree with me about the enormity of the task that I am talking about.

In all senses of the word, the women are the real managers of our country and society. If it was not for them doing the things that they do, we men would not be so happily doing our stuff.

And all this feat is unachievable without a competent and a proportionate level of intelligence. What ever you might want to call it, practical intelligence etc., women are truly very very intelligent human beings and they deserve a big applause for what and who they are.

Here is saluting the women in our lives who make us what we are. Three Cheers to Women!

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I have a Plan B!

Well! I am not talking about a discussion being held in the posch enclaves of a MNC discussion room. I am referring to what youngsters today are constantly harping on.

I am in fact speaking about a love story that is for strange reasons going through situations and circumstances unheard of and unconceived of before this.

If you are wondering what that might be, you indeed need to go through a dynamics that I am about to mention.

Somehow, with the innumerable plans that the telecom companies have got so used to offering lately, this is a classic example of a guy and a girl ending up taking different plans from the same telecom company.

It is quite remarkable how the girls love to write loads of messages expressing themselves to the fullest and leaving no stone unturned to convey their feelings to their boyfriends.

So, what she does in order to fulfill the dream of her life which is to express herself, she ends up opting for a plan which allows her to write lots and lots of messages for just a few bucks.

Happily enough, she ends up messaging her boyfriend at least 100 times in a day and expects her boyfriend to do the same, which of course doesn’t happen, sheerly because of the very nature of a guy.

He ends up taking an economic plan as he thinks it would suffice his needs, ignoring the very recent need of messaging his girlfriend that has of late begun to knock at his door.

What results is anybody’s guess. They end up quarrelling as the girl perceives the guy to have lost interest in her and for ignoring all the stuff that the girl wants to share with her guy.

The guy, in order to avoid all the bickering taking place, decides to opt for the same plan as the girl. He tries to send as many messages as possible from his end, but is never able to compensate the girl for her expression of her feelings.

If this was not enough a cause for the quarrell to even grow worse, they end up fighting for the guy’s inability to call her in the same manner as he used to do before taking up the girl’s plan.

Sometimes, it is so difficult to explain the obvious. The guy tries every thing in the World to come up with an explanation citing that since he has changed his plan, he is unable to make the same number of calls as he used to do before.

But as if the words are falling on a deaf person’s ear, he is unable to get any respite for his explanation. Instead the girl thinks that the guy has started to blame her for everything and of course for no fault of hers.

Seeing the situation go out of control, the guy decides that he won’t be a miser any more and this time around he opts for the most inclusive of plans which allows him not only to send messages to his girlfriend but also gives him enough freedom to make as many calls as he wishes to make on a number which belongs to the same telecom company.

Feeling quite joyful about his act, he decides to call up his girlfriend. With the luxury of time no more being a constraint, he calls her up. But to his utter dismay, he is unable to connect to the same and is met with a voice telling him that the number has been temporarily drawn out of service.

Feeling quite strange about what he just heard, he is left with no other option but to wait for his girlfriend’s call.

After a long wait, he does receive a call from none other than his girlfriend, who is all set to surprise her boyfriend with a breaking news: “Hey, Guess what! I have changed my number. I thought, I was being too possessive. So, I decided that I would take up a number which would give me an opportunity to interact with my family and friends more often at the same time, I would not be pestering you with my calls and messages every now and then. Moreover, the connection that I have taken this time gives much better reception than my previous one. See, I am the best girlfriend that you could have ever dreamt of. Hai na! 🙂 “

The breaking news proved to be a heartbreak for the guy. More than a heartbreak, it leaves him disappointed.Thinking it wiser not to tell his girlfriend about what he had just done for her, he decides to keep the dymanics of the plans to himself: “You are very sweet, baby and very understanding too. That’s why, I am your biggest fan on this planet, Earth. 😉 “

This is how, the whole dynamics of the plans came to an end at least in this case. But I am sure there are many more such stories that are going around in India and deserve a mention.

Having said, all the above, happys endings always give me immense satisfaction and happiness.

Lekin kya karoon, picture abhi baaki hai mere dost 😉

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Say No to Domestic Violence

The one thing that God certainly wanted for the entire humanity was to give rise to the concept of reproductivity and self-sustenance and growth. That’s why he made sure that a boy was accompanied by a girl when he decided that it’s time to start a new game.

And here we were all set to dance to His tunes. But little would He have wondered that a thing which He had started to ensure propagation of a never ending cycle would be corrupted by the illegitimate and inhuman whims of some amongst us.

No one had ever thought that the institution of marriage, evolved by our society, which was nothing but an advanced conception of the very basic thought, would turn into disrepute because of the vices and greed demonstrated by certain sections of our society.

And one such demonstration was manifested in the form of domestic violence resulting in illtreatment being meted out to women and girls by the people who would still want to be called masculine.

A plethora of reports and cases have been registered in our courts and in fact all around the World for the same cruelty and disrespect shown by the males of our society towards the women folk.

And you will be surprised to know that it’s just the tip of an iceberg with innumerous such cases not being reported and go unnoticed because of the fear of the social consequences and because the women don’t want to be singled out in this male dominated society.

Also, those women who are entirely dependent on their male counterparts for their sustenance and finances find it much more easy to bear the brunt of all the atrocities committed by their so called pati parmeshwar.

But with women becoming financially independent, things are certainly changing for the good and indeed women are raising their voices against this practice.

Women are beginning to play their part, but the question that needs to be asked is:

Are the males of our society ready to play their part and help women in leading a life with respect and dignity, which is a fundamental right guaranteed to every citizen in our country?

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The Saviour

Today while watching the show Satyamev Jayate, I was really impressed by the enthusiasm and lively nature of a gentleman who in true sense can be called a saviour for the couples who intend on getting married or are already married against the sweet will of their respective families and thus have been discarded and ridiculed for the same act by their very own family and relatives.

If you are wondering what he has done, then I must tell you that he has given birth to a concept with the name of love commandos, volunteers who are well trained and adept at accomplishing various feats ranging from protecting couples facing any sort of danger to their lives, to providing them with all the basic amenities needed for their survival.

He has tried exposing the basic flaw in the thinking that is being followed and practiced by various socio-cultural groups who call themselves protectors of the Indian tradition, by citing examples and drawing comparisons with the likes of Krishna-Radha tales.

But before delving into the religious justification of love between a couple, which he calls pure love, the question that should be asked to the so called protectors is: what is Indian tradition?

We call India a country depicting unity in diversity. With a plethora of regional differences, can we really talk about a common tradition for the entire country. If not, then what about the laws that are nothing but a reflection of the norms and traditions in our society, is there any justification in uniform codification of the same?

Does that mean that there cannot and should not be any law governing our society? Of course, not! What we need though is a logical and a rational basis for making and implementing a law, which should be isolated and saved from the influence of the irrational and at times, inhuman approach demonstrated by the protectors.

With the kind of rigidity and group cohesion shown by theseprotectors,one cannot help but wonder as to how their acts and whims can be justified in the name of tradition.

What might work though in such cases and with such people is a religious interpretation of the whole scheme of things that they take great pride in delving into. The question that needs to be asked by the saints of the religions which these protectors practice is:

Where do you think you will end up if you continue to committ such heinous crimes-Hell or Heaven?

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The Girl Factor

Today’s lunch was a real treat. I had the pleasure of spending some quality time with two of my cousins and my bhabi. If you are wondering what was the motivation behind me writing this article, then I must tell you that it is all because of my cousin who is unmarried and in all senses of the word is a pure heera in our family that I have been forced into penning my thoughts down.

A very handsome guy that he is, my cousin is a perfect example of a guy posessing all the qualities which a girl would desire in her husband or boyfriend. His want-to-die-for looks are well adorned with the kind of degrees that he posesses in his name. Having achieved so much in life on the professional and academic front, the only thing that’s missing in his life is the presence of a girl who would fill his life with joy and happiness.

With his kind of profile, I am sure that sooner or later he would be able to find a suitable partner for himself. But have you ever wondered about the prospect of guys who have not accomplished much in life? With the ever increasing male to female ratio in our country and with the kind of foeticide practices prevalent in our country, don’t you think the day is not so far when we would see more and more men left wanting to start a family.

The scenario was very well analysed and presented in the show Satyamev Jayate. The path that we as a society are treading needs to be reversed. A general awareness about the whole issue needs to be created and the practice of female foeticide needs to be stopped for our own good and for the good of our society as a whole.

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The Other Gender

Today, in the morning, I was told by one of my friends about my recent inclination to write about issues concerning women and to have forgotten about the men folk as a whole. This article in every sense of the word is solely dedicated to the stronger sex :).

It is true that the men in our society don’t really have to go through the same kind of hardships that women in our country do. Having said that, they are not left immune, they indeed have their own share of problems.

And one recent problem that I was introduced to by the same friend is regarding the expectations that a guy needs to fulfill when it comes to family, wife or society to the extent that sometimes he feels quite suffocated with the whole scheme of things which seems to him like an unresolvable situation.

His parents expect him to earn more and more, or at least better than their neighbour’s or the distant relative’s son. After all, how can they afford to be left behind in the rat race. No matter how hard he tries, what comes his way is the mere recognition of the fact that he needs to do more in life.

Wifes, in some cases, can add up to his woes. With the ever increasing materialistic nature of our lives, she tends to demand more and more and her list of wishes tend to lie on an ever increasing curve.

If this was not enough, everywhere he goes, the first question that he needs to encounter, whether he likes it or not is: “beta, kya kar rahe ho aaj kal?” As if the whole world was only interested in the work and more importantly the benefits that he is deriving from that work.

At that point of time, the guy’s situation is comparable to a donkey who is unable to get his due share even after giving up all his life in the service of people whom he loves and cares for.

Somehow the guy cannot help but ask a question that seems to be quite relevant to the whole scenario:

Why is it that I am guaged by my achievements in life and that too the materialistic ones, which is bound to fade away like a phoenix one fine day?”

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Support System

Everyday, our newspapers are flooded with reports of crimes against women folk. Everyday, someone gets burnt due to non payment of dowry, everyday some women are so brutally beaten up by their husbands that they end up being hospitalized, everyday some women are humiliated and threatened.

This makes me wonder as to what’s the reason behind such a behaviour on part of men. Are we as men trying to prove that we are physically more strong and can go to any extent of imposing our decisions on women? Are we as men become so grossly infected by our desires and whims that we tend to lose all forms of morality and dignity?

It makes me immensely sad about the increasing expression of aggression in our society. Why all the frustation and angst is taken out on the women? Why the hell have we forgotten to give due respect to women? Why are we bent upon treating women like animals?

Why have we forgotten the fact that if there was no woman then there wouldn’t be any one in this society? And the most surprising and unfortunate thing in some incidents is that women too collude with their sons or husbands and become a part of making either their daughter-in-laws or their daughters go through all the atrocities.

Whatever might be the reason for such a behaviour, the behaviour itself needs to be ridiculed and suitably punished. Indeed punishment is surely going to act as a deterrent for those who might have such motives, but we must try to dig deeper and try to focus on the root cause of such incidents.

Why are such incidents taking place? Is it in the nature of a human to be brutal? And if it is then why is is that the norms and value system in our society which is supposed to be the guiding force behind all the legal laws and codes in place and is supposed to condition a human being into a fully functional societal being, are unable to fulfill its purpose?

There must be something very wrong in our teachings that we end up doing things such as those described above. Things certainly need to change. Again the question is where should this reform process start from? Should we focus on our schools, along with homes, and try to instil teachings from Bhagvad Geeta and other religious texts in the curriculum so that our children grow up into decent and virtuous individuals?

At the end of the day, it is extremely important that individuals, in this case especially men, are taught the virtues of respecting the fairer sex. But this alone wouldn’t solve the problem. Inspite of all teachings there will surely be some deviants who would try to bring malaise to the whole system.

What is needed along with the teachings, is an establishment of a society where in women feel free and empowered to voice out their opinions. And we as virtuous men need to function as a support system for the women folk.

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21st Century Girls: The change has already begun

The shackles that this male dominated society has been trying to put on the women are all set to be broken. And Indeed it needs to be. For long, women have been exploited by the males. In spite of them devoting themselves fully to the male cause, they have not been given the respect which they should have got.

First as a daughter, then as a wife, afterwards as a mother and grandmother, the one thing that remains common among all these roles is their attitude of giving. They have always believed in showering lots and lots of love on their close ones, even compromising, in some cases themselves, what to talk of careers.

But things seem to be changing for good in the 21st century. Girls are becoming more aware of their rights and are more outspoken about the same, at least in metropolitan cities. Yes, the situation has not much changed in smaller cities and towns, but the wave of change has started engulfing many a cities and is slowly but surely going to reach the nooks and corners.

Today, the girls from small cities and towns are making it big in whatever field they are aspiring to be successful in and that’s a refreshing thing to witness and be a part of. The only advice that I would want to give the guys is to help empower the girls and be open to the change that is taking place because it is high time that such a change should take place.

For Girls, the advice would be: “Dream On! The entire World is there to be won over and we as guys are ready to walk the path with you“.

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