Generation F-Up!

We have heard various generations, be it X, Y, Z, ABCD or whatever.

But have we realized that we are a generation of constant follow-ups (F-Ups)?

Be it getting that piece of furniture that you might have ordered from the likes of Hometown etc. assembled,


The internet connection when you move to a new house installed,


Any other thing that you tend to live upon on a daily basis.

There is a constant need to follow up with the service providers,

Be it the government


the private sector.


Makes me wonder, when as a society, we would become professional enough to meet what we say or promise.

Words have become such a loose commodity.

Whether it be reporting or reaching on time, as promised,


Meeting the T&C of a contract,

No matter be it on a legal piece of paper or not,

We tend to violate the trust code,

Without realising that it’s the basis of any association or communication in the society we choose to live in.

And when people start taking this code lightly, credibility is bound to go down.

Be it at a personal level, let’s say when you commit to someone for marriage,


As a country, where the intention is to attract investments from different quarters, which gets reflected in the indicators such as ease of doing business in a country.

The gap also represents an opportunity, in a society like ours, where doing what’s promised, becomes a key differentiator of sorts.

Wonder, when all of us will do as we say we would! 🙂

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Trusting the Trust!

Trust, somehow, has always been and will continue to remain the basis on which every transaction or interaction takes place in our society.

Be it the coming together of two individuals in the form of a marriage,

Be it a patient going to a doctor for treatment,

Be it buying something online,

Be it the very communication between individuals where the parties accept what the other party has to offer in terms of advice, suggestions etc.,

Be it the evidence that is presented in the court of law,


Be it the advice that parents give to their kids which they follow,

I can go on and on with the examples of the very application of this 5 letter word Trust, which has had its etymology which mean protection, comfort, solace etc.

When we talk of protection, comfort or solace, on most occasions, we are referring to a 2nd or a 3rd party who is there to look after the very aspect, and possibly the need for an outside intervention not concerning the parties involved.

Which makes me somehow wonder, that trusting the trust in itself has become an act which is let’s say, has become more difficult than trusting an outsider/3rd party unknown to the very parties, assuming that the 3rd party will have all the sense to derive comprehensive conclusions, on the basis of presentation of few facts and evidence.

The very basis of justice has gone into the hands of the 3rd parties, who, at times, are completely oblivious of the situation at hand, yet have to depend on a drama that somehow unfolds in front of their eyes in a court of law. shutterstock_250176199

As a consequence, we are seeing, increase in the number of cases being filed, decrease in the level of patience and adjustment that also seems to reflect one stabilizing factor in every society and most important of all, leading to mental instability and deterioration of mental health coefficient of a society as a whole.

Be it the greed,

Be it the jealousy,

Be it the hatred,


Be it the fear,

All the above lead to reduction in our ability to trust and leads to disintegration of the fundamental reason why we all exist together.

Don’t you think, it’s high time, we start to trust again, if not for the very act of it, than surely for maintaining the much required stability of our societies?

For, if trusting the trust becomes an act beyond our reach, then we are headed in just one direction, which we all refer to as destruction, first of self and of course of the society.

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Gendered Genius!

Let me begin this post by asking you a simple question, “who or what comes in your mind, when you hear the word, genius?”

Probably, for most of males, it would be someone like Einstein or similar, depending on one’s interest, but what is more surprising is that for females as well, it’s a male personality that tends to stand out among the geniuses of the world.

Have you ever wondered, why the fairer sex, doesn’t seem to find a place in the memory of individuals, when it comes to geniuses being spoken of?

Have you ever figured it out, why in the representation of super-people, superheros tend to dominate the other world and not the super-heroins?

If the male chauvinists out there are wondering, what the heck I am speaking of, I am actually questioning the very basis on how genius tends to find a definition in our society.


I am actually trying to emphasize on the genius of a woman, when she handles her tasks, both personal and professional with such an amazing efficiency and commitment.

I am actually referring to the stability, that only the genius of a woman, can provide not only to individual families, but also to the entire cosmos.

Then, why such feats are not talked about or highlighted in the scheme of things, be it the media or our society in general?

Well, to be honest, am not such a big fan of labeling, be it genius or non-genius, for labels create divide.

Labels have evolved from a much prevalent tendency to post mortem each and every aspect of our lives.

But if it was so compulsive, that the entire label mentality cannot be given up in the near future, at least we should try to act equanimous at some level of labeling.

So, it’s high time, we make a change in the way we think, in the way we label, in the way we create this society and the world around us.

For if we were to go the gendered way of creating and labeling geniuses, we would be creating more biases and tendencies, which would be hard to ignore in times to come and would have its own set of repercussions.

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Local Social! Being Real and Feeling Real!

Guys, have you ever wondered, that facebook like social networking sites pretty much fall into a category of “knowing the knowns” and is only able to provide you with a virtual experience which in most cases is unable to conclude in a real meeting of sorts.

Just imagine an online world where in you know who lives next door, what are they really interested in, what events are taking place in the locality, what common governance issues the locality might be facing on which they can collaborate on etc.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful going on a date with the most beautiful girl in your locality? Wouldn’t it be wonderful joining people from the neighborhood for adventurous tours and trips? Wouldn’t it be wonderful getting together and working for a social cause? Wouldn’t it be wonderful getting recommendations for things ranging from maids to properties and from hotels to what ever topic of relevance that comes to your mind?Lets Get Real

But all of the above cannot happen if you don’t know the people living in your communities and neighborhoods, if you don’t interact with them enough, if you don’t share things with them, if you don’t collaborate and engage with them. How about if you had an online platform which exactly did what you have always wanted all your life which is to be real and feel real, instead of being virtual and feeling virtual.

Yes, you are almost there, just a step away from accessing the most wonderful of websites that I came across just a couple of days back, called ApniStreet ( ). This website provides you with a platform where you can interact, share and collaborate with people in your community and locality.

It is said that the global is the new local but for me, local is going to be the new global, because we are slowly and slowly losing touch with our vicinity and neighborhood, which is not at all sustainable. Man is a social being and cannot survive with virtual interactions alone. Man needs to have real and meaningful interactions which one can get only when one comes to know people living in, say, the apartment next door.

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Small yet Great!

What better way to begin my morning than by seeing a very inspiring video that one of my friends happened to send me last night! I am sure many of you have already seen the same.

The video that I am talking about is of Novak Djokovic, the tennis player from Serbia, where he allows one of the ball boys to share the same seat as his, at a time when the match got stalled due to rain and offers him his racquet along with a drink. kind

Such small gestures speak a volume about the kind of person he is. Everyone knows that he is a celebrity in the sporting world, but to demonstrate such a humble nature is indeed one of the traits that every successful person should learn from the man.

Now, success is such a relative concept. A rickshaw puller is more successful than say a beggar. A shopkeeper is more successful than a rickshaw puller and so on. How wonderful it would be if every relatively successful person becomes kind and humble towards the next person below him in this chain.

Don’t you think it would lead to increased cumulative happiness quotient in this world? Don’t you think the kind of street fights/rage we have over small traffic incidents will come to a halt? Don’t you think the world would become a kinder place to live in? Don’t you think we all would become better individuals if we are able to imbibe this little yet huge thing in our demeanor?humble

Certainly it would lead to a better world and indeed we would be able to provide a better future for generations to come. I guess that’s what sustainable living is all about.

So, guys out there. What are you all waiting for? Let’s start this from today itself. The next person you meet in this chain below yourself, do remember this post of mine and do remember to experience the wonderful feeling after you end up doing good deeds in life.

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2 States in my family!

Chetan Bhagat is one guy who has inspired not only me but so many budding writers who wanted to write but could never take that courage to delve into the same, courtesy the kind of remuneration that the industry offers and courtesy the kind of success rate associated with the same.

His inspiration has not been limited to his breed and has instead gone much beyond the same, courtesy the kind of books he has written which has made a significant impact on the lives of so many, not only in India but also across the seven seas.2 states

And one such person happens to be my very own sister-in-law (saali) who would soon get married to a Tamil guy, hailing from the same college as hers. Courtesy, 2 States, the world has become much more open to accepting the concept of getting married in a different caste, religion or region.

On my part, I am extremely excited that I would get a chance to witness the much awaited 2 States like wedding taking place in my in-laws house in a few days time. The concept of two families hailing from two totally different backgrounds and having totally different perceptions would be seen coming together to have a consensus on a common issue.

The excitement seems to have caught everyone in the family, with my brother-in-law even contemplating getting dressed in a lungi, similar to the likes of the bridegroom and my sister-in-laws all set to adorn kerala style sarees. 

How wonderful it would be if the two parties to the contract decide to get dressed in a manner suited to the likes of the other party, with the Tamil family dressing in a North Indian style and the north Indian family dressing in a Tamil attire!

If this is not the real manifestation of unity in diversity, then I wonder what is! Wouldn’t it be amazing if the entire world could take a cue from such examples of unison and get motivated to drive away the enmity and conflicts evolving from regionalism?

Wouldn’t it be nice to see the next generation getting a chance to experience both cultures at home and imbibing values that are extremely essential when it comes to the unity and integrity of our country?

Being an ardent Shahrukh Khan fan that I am, I would want to see much more of such marriages taking place in our country.Arranged-marriage-image

May be what the government in our country and an amendment in the Special Marriage Act has not been able to accomplish so far, can be achieved by a concept which has become part and parcel of every person who happen to be living in this territory which we all refer to as India. 

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The Hidden Talent!

Sometimes I wonder why certain creative talents remain hidden forever. Is it because they prefer not to be exposed to the scrutiny of the external World or is it because they are unable to find that appreciation which might propel them forward in enabling their God given gifts to prosper?

Whatever it might be, certainly the loser in this case is not the person who tend to hide his talent, but the public at large, who are deprived of the immense happiness that the talent has a potential to spread and offer to the ever so increasingly burdened modern man, who is in constant search of peace of mind.

If you are wondering, why suddenly I am talking about hidden talents, it is because, it was only a couple of days back that I realized how much talent this friend of mine has, when it comes to penning feelings and emotions down in the form of poetry. It is not that I didn’t know about his talent earlier, but had never come across any of what he calls his stuff

And it came in the form of a letter. It is not often that you tend to receive a hand written letter in today’s world, and when you do, you want to frame it and keep it as a remembrance for times to come specially when it happens to come from a person, who was once upon a time, very close to you, a very dear friend with whom you had once shared some wonderful moments and a friend who was always there when you needed him the most. 

Below are a couple of lines from the letter:

Hi buddy! Of late I have been remembering you a lot and reminiscing about the wonderful times that we spent together, before you left and here is what I call a small tribute that I would want to dedicate to our friendship:

मौसम तो खुशमिज़ाज़ है, फिर दिल ये तनहा आज क्यूँ है,
कहता अलविदा तो तू हर रात है, आँखें आज नम क्यूँ है,
देते थे ख़ुशी जो पल तेरे साथ के, यादें उनकी दे रही गम आज क्यूँ है,
असर तेरी दोस्ती का ही है मेरे यार, बिछड़ने का हो रहा जो एहसास यूँ है.

And then he goes on to describe some of the wonderful incidents from college and the masti we happened to indulge in together.poet diary

If you are reading this buddy, then I would urge you to come out from your own little world and give us all an opportunity to relish some of the most wonderful of thoughts and emotions that you have penned down in your wonderfully maintained poetic diary that only you and a couple of people close to you, have access to.

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Are you a rational being?

Do you believe that every story has a happy ending? Of course you would want to believe in the same and would want to see every story ending on a pleasing note, yet there are numerous who are not fortunate enough to see the light of the day.

And when it happens to be of a person you tend to know or is an acquaintance, you might wonder, why of all people such a thing had to happen to the very person? After all, wasn’t he a good guy or a girl? What wrong had he/she done to deserve such a fate?

Was it because of his/her karma that he/she might have done in her previous life, if we were to believe in the mythology that is? Was it because he/she didn’t have any other choice but to indulge in that something which would ruin him/her for all his/her life?

Well, if we were to think about what had happened in a retrospective manner, we would try to link up different events and would try to make sense out of things that earlier seemed to be totally unrelated and insignificant.

But does it change anything? Is it possible to go back in the past and redeem what had just ensued? Can we rectify our mistakes and instead of feeling guilty do we all have the luxury to, say, press a button and change everything that might have gone awry?

Not really, what is gone is gone. Nothing on planet that we, as humans, are aware of, can change it. Then, why on earth, even after knowing the above, do we end up doing things or taking decisions that we might have to regret for, all our lives?

Is it because of the manner in which we tend to take our decisions, or does it require too much effort on part of our brains to think about the consequences of our action? Is there something that tends to camouflage our rational thinking when the situation goes bad and we tend to lose all our control? Sci_Am_Robot_vs_Human_Rationality

Has Freud spoken correctly about our Id, which is nothing but our instincts and inner desires which tend to come out of the trap that had been laid by our own ego, which in turn forces us to ignore the morality and the good that we, as humans, are supposed to do and abide by in our day to day lives.

Possibly, yes. But is there a way out? Can we stop committing all the things that we regret for in the future? And if there is, are we aware of the same and are prepared both physically and emotionally to practice the same?

Can someone provide us with a ready-to-use algorithm which we can apply expecting assured results without worrying about whether we will be able to achieve what we desire?

As far as I am concerned, the solution lies in your inner self. If we were to sit down for a while and explore our inner self we would indeed end up finding a solution which would not only be in our own interest but would also enable us to do good for a lot of people around us.

So, there is no need to run after an algorithm or a person who can provide us with such an algorithm. People, who are referred to as godmen (pretty much self-proclaimed) tend to exploit us for every ignorance of ours.

Have we become so irrational so as to be exploited for our naive nature? Where has all the scientific temper and the logical thought process evaporated when it comes to religion or having beliefs which are surely going to harm us, if not now, then definitely in the near future.

Instead of running after happiness, one needs to find happiness in his or her inner self, for that is the only way out of one’s misery and problems that one happens to be encountering in today’s materialistic world, and trust me, no one in this world will be able to provide you with a ready made solution for all your miseries, expect you yourself.

So the idea is to: Think before you Act and not the other way round.

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Arranged Marriage: A Girl’s Perspective

How could have I left the fairer sex out of this whole discussion? Wouldn’t I be labeled very much a male chauvinist if I were to dare even think about such a thing? Moreover, I am, myself a proponent of women empowerment, so going by the standards that I have set for myself, here I am about to present to you what a girl’s take would be on such a topic as this.

Now, for the male perspective, I had someone to bank upon. For the female perspective, after toiling hard for an entire fortnight, I had finally found someone whom I often refer to as Hyde and who was kind enough to offer her opinions. By the way, when a girl speaks, it is better not to interrupt her. So, in this case, no conversation ensued, it was only Hyde talking and me listening to her :).Arranged-marriage-image

You know what, this whole arranged marriage thing is such a crap. Someone will come and see you and then will pass a judgement upon what kind of person you are or what kind of family you have been brought up in. And you are expected to keep mum and listen to whatever the groom’s family has to say about you and your family.

I have been through this on a number of occasions. Sometimes, it is because of the so called legitimate demands citing “rasmein” as a reason and on other occasions, it is because the guy didn’t find me too attractive. Who knows what’s the guy expecting considering that he doesn’t even match up to being a decent looking person and more importantly a decent human being.

The other day, a gentleman, who has just got selected in the Indian Engineering Service happened to visit my parents, along with his family. Upon arrival, even before they have had their snacks, the guy’s father came directly to the point. He started to talk about the marriage market that is prevalent in India and our society and the kind of rates that have been offered for his son in this market. 

He went on and on about the kind of proposals that had come his way and are continuing to pour in. As if this had not yet satisfied his ever growing ego, he went on talking about how his son had been a topper all through and how he had always kept their head held high in society. 

I don’t even want to mention the other crappy things that he said to boost his ego. The fact is that a girl never wants to go in a family where she is supposed to compromise all her individuality. I know, that we are conditioned and socialized to compromise at all times, since our childhood, but even then we would want a husband who can understand the kind of situation that we girls tend to find ourselves in most of the time. 

I am not saying that we are trying to run away from our responsibilities. But with changing times and with more and more girls contributing to the finances of a family, it needs to be understood that responsibilities now need to be shared, in order to ensure that the girl is not overburdened with the same. 

One just needs a heart to understand all that I have said. The problem is that humanity is losing its essence. More than our emotions, it is the profit-making attitude at any cost that is killing the empathy that one needs to have towards another person. Sometimes, I wonder why is it so difficult to place yourself in another person’s shoes to understand what he or she might be going through in that particular situation? Why is it that we have become so self-centred and rigid? Why is it that we tend to ignore the aspects from which we cannot make profits? Why is it that the garb of traditionalism is used to explain certain practices that are rationally wrong and need to be abandoned as a whole?heaven

Trust me, it is much easier to be born a guy in our society. From childhood itself, there are n number of restrictions that we are supposed to abide by just because we happened to be born in a male-dominated society who is all too eager to maintain his power over the fairer sex and use it for their glorification.

Coming back to the marriage issue, somehow I have started believing in the notion that marriages are made somewhere up there. Whether it turns out to be a Hell or a Heaven, that needs to be figured out by the mortals living down here.”

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Arranged Marriage: Guy’s Perspective!

Carrying on with my love for arranged marriage, this one is inspired from none other than a very good friend of mine who has supposedly turned a shayar from a seedha saadha aadmi (what Congress might want to refer to as the aam aadmi) and is in the form of a conversation (more like a one-way conversation) that ensued between him (F) and myself (M) not over a cup of coffee this time but over a bottle of scotch, which is one of the most preferred and obviously not the recommended way of getting rid of that hesitation that makes you worry about what the other person sitting in front of you might think about your credentials and pass judgement based on his perception of what kind of person you are. (Mind you, all this conversation ensued when was five pegs down)AM

Yaar, I feel very blessed these days. After all I am getting married. I have never experienced such a thing before. Guess, what I think and I believe that I am in love.”—F

“Hmmmmmmmm :)”—-M

“But I don’t know why the hell this world and all my friends are after me trying to figure out what big a deal is it to get married. It was only yesterday that Mr. gave me a call. He sounded more surprised than happy to hear about my marriage. Seeing me all too excited, the first thing he mentioned was why I am getting so impatient and irrationally happy. My reply was, isn’t it obvious for a guy who had been waiting for it to happen for so long and had undergone what can truly be referred to as a mental trauma in trying to figure out the best match for himself.”—F

Hmm, absolutely. And it is good to be happy. Right!”—M

Ya, that was what I was trying to explain to him. But his version was that there is no need to change oneself for anyone. What crap! It is bound to have some kind of impact on my life in a positive way that is. You know what the problem is, all these ghochoos use to make fun of me in college that no girl would ever become my girlfriend and that they would certainly get married before me. Now the tables have turned and they are not able to digest the fact that the yesteryear ghochoo has now become today’s bond. Ego, you see, is a sure killer. Even Sigmund Freud wouldn’t have imagined, how fatal these egos can be!”—F

And he continued:

It is not that I want bad for them. But at least they should be happy that their ghochoo has become a bond. What’s the problem in accepting a simple fact that everyone has a bond hidden somewhere inside him. It is up to that individual to bring out that bond in himself and prove to the world that no ghochoo is a born ghochoo and no bond is a born bond. It is how shared and non-shared environment act upon an individual to give him a personality through which he is recognized in this world apart from the Genes that one is happy or sad to inherit from his parents. Why I say, sad, is that at times people are not too happy with the kind of genes they got as a consequence of being born in a family over which they don’t seem to have any control. But then too, I feel they should feel happy that at least they were born a human and not a filthy creature for which there is always a possibility if we were to accept what the Hindu mythology tells us all.”—F

And there he was in no mood to halt.

You know, I was rejected by four girls. Yes, I know I am not that good looking. I know, I am not that smart when it comes to speaking my mind out. I know, I am not that happening and modern like the urbane guys. But I am a good individual :(.”—-F

And then there was silence, only to be broken again by none other than F.

You see, it is not only the girls who have to go through all the shitty things before they end up getting married. It is also the guys who, at times, have to go through a lot more than what can ever be imagined in this man-dominated society we seem to be living in. Trust me, it is not so easy to get married. It is only when your parents are fully convinced about the girl’s and the girl’s family’s credentials that you are made to meet the girl. Then too, you don’t know what you are going to talk to the girl and how on earth would it be possible for you to figure out whether the girl will supposedly meet all the expectations that your family has from her. And if at all, you trust your judgement and go ahead with your decision, then too you are blamed for your lack of judgement and stupidity in case some thing bad happens.”—-F

He was too drunk and he kept speaking.

And that’s what exactly happened in the previous case. You know, I was engaged before this, right. Everything was good and then one fine morning, this girl calls me to inform that she is calling off the marriage and the reason she gave was that she hadn’t told me before about her boyfriend who had now agreed to marry her. It’s so ridiculous, at the same time funny, where these girls consider it as a joke and a game of poker where in they want to and get to chose the best available alternate.”—-F

There was silence again for a second time. And then he finally opened up.

Dude, I have no grudges against anyone. You see, what is in destiny is bound to happen, no matter whether anyone wants or not; no matter whether your friends call you ghochoo or bond; no matter whether there are numerous hurdles that need to be crossed over before you reach your final goal and no matter whether you are rejected by a couple more girls. Now, tell me who is a ghochoo?:)”—Fom-shanti-om

And then he spoke no more. He was too drunk to speak and had fallen asleep.

As I got up to clear the left overs, it reminded me of a dialogue from a movie which goes something like this, अंत तक सब कुछ ठीक ही हो जाता है, और अगर ना हो तो पिक्चर अभी बाकी है मेरे दोस्त”.

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