Tag Archives: Boyfriend

Shopping Wopping!

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I would want to believe that majority of guys don’t like shopping when it comes to your wives and girlfriends dragging you to the market place especially after a plethora of emotional dialogues and blackmail, and leaving you with no other choice but to comply to their sweet will.

Some of you might toe in line and pretend to like the very idea thinking that since you are already there, you might as well enjoy the entire experience. The rest, on the other hand, would crib and act as if they are going through the torture of their lives, making it sure that the girlfriend or the wife comes to know about the same and hoping that they wouldn’t be dragged from next time around, but little do they realize they would not only become a punching bag for their better halves on reaching home but would also have to go through a hell lot of serious torture while trying to provide a proof of your love towards your better half.shopping

Intelligent are those who tend to pretend liking the entire shopping experience as they are then treated by their better halves in the most wonderful and sensual of mannerism which any guy could die for.

Does it mean that every guy should try to alter the very core of their personalities and start liking shopping? Well, not really but surely you should at least give it a thought and try to fall in the former category in case you want your love life to remain peaceful at all times.

But won’t it mean compromising too much? Wasn’t it meant to be a give and take relationship? Wasn’t it meant to be a mutually desirable and pleasurable experience?

If you guys out there are wondering about all the above questions, then you are true to the core persona, but little do you realize that when you tend to enter into a relationship, it is 90% of the time that women have a knack of making you do what you might least want to do, considering the kind of manipulation power and in turn intelligence that they seem to be born with.

I wonder why women have a stereotypical view of being called stupid and are labelled such by our society. If anyone in this world has a doubt regarding whether they are or not, might want to think about it again after giving recognition to the wonderful knack that they have developed in pursuing a guy to toe to their will.

Well, this is just one perspective and it would be unfair on my part, if I fail to present the views of the fairer sex on the same.shopping wopping

For a girl, shopping is equivalent to a lifeline that they get in return for what all they go through during their life. It is similar to a guy’s lifeline of say watching IPL or any sports or pursuing any particular hobby that is so near and dear to him.

It surely makes them happy. A guy would wonder why and how spending nearly half the guy’s income can make anybody happy, but the truth is, that it does for majority of the girls. After all, it is about maintaining a certain level of happiness quotient in life, which they do so by indulging in shopping. Not to mention that there are indeed mature souls on this planet who take a different view altogether and who spend only when there is enough to spend and do not dive into a careless spree of buying anything and everything that comes to their mind.

Recently, I happened to be talking to one such mature lady, a relative (R) of mine (M), with whom I happened to have a wonderful conversation regarding shopping.

“You know, it feels really nice when my husband asks me to go out with him to the market place. It does not necessarily mean that I would spend money but just the idea of my husband taking care of my feelings and giving what I want a consideration makes me happy.”—–R

“Yes, I can understand. It feels that the other person cares for you.”—-M

“Ya, absolutely! Also, I like seeing new things. I like witnessing the kind of fashion that is prevalent now a days. I like to do window shopping more than actually going out there and buying every possible item I can think of. It is also about spending some quality time with your husband which you normally don’t get a chance because you are so engrossed in your daily routine and don’t find time for such activities. It is very much a break for all ladies.”—-R

“True. And everyone desires a change from the monotony that ensues courtesy the kind of Indian society we all happen to live in, where the woman in the house, at least from your generation is expected to get up everyday in the morning and is expected to take care of all the needs of not only the husband and children but also the entire family, ranging from grandfather to brother-in-laws, especially in a joint family.”—-M

“Ya, and see how wonderfully we do this job, without any complaints and with full devotion. It looks pretty easy but can be really taxing and tiring. No man can take on such a responsibility because they are not made that way by God. I guess he had special plans when it came to taking care of the family needs and every woman of my generation should take great pride in the things we do.”—-R

“True, and hats off to all the ladies and my mother for having done so for so long.”—-M

“Ok, you tell me. Men call it a give and take relationship. So, for what we do, don’t we deserve an evening out with the man in our lives, where we can get to enjoy buying new things, which by the way, most of the times are related to the needs of the family and the household. So it is not that we are always buying something for ourselves. We buy keeping in mind everything that might be required by the family. In a way, we are still on duty keeping every little thing in our mind at all times and ensuring that everyone remains happy in our house. After hearing all this, you tell me, whether it is too much a demand that our husbands always seem to crib about?”—-R

Well, I had no answer to the last question that she asked and I seemed a totally transformed person after the entire conversation. Indeed the woman of our lives does take care of all the things that we can possibly think of. In different roles whether it be of a daughter, or a wife or a mother, she tends to fulfill every little expectation that the society has from her. Doesn’t she deserve a better treatment from all the guys?shopping boy

Come on, guys! It is not much that is being asked of you. And I am sure that all of us are capable of doing much better in life :).

Source for Image: http://creoleindc.typepad.com/rantings_of_a_creole_prin/shopping/, http://www.thymegraphics.co.uk/products.asp?cat=37, http://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/shopping-girl-and-boy-vector-499613

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Arranged Marriage: Guy’s Perspective!

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Carrying on with my love for arranged marriage, this one is inspired from none other than a very good friend of mine who has supposedly turned a shayar from a seedha saadha aadmi (what Congress might want to refer to as the aam aadmi) and is in the form of a conversation (more like a one-way conversation) that ensued between him (F) and myself (M) not over a cup of coffee this time but over a bottle of scotch, which is one of the most preferred and obviously not the recommended way of getting rid of that hesitation that makes you worry about what the other person sitting in front of you might think about your credentials and pass judgement based on his perception of what kind of person you are. (Mind you, all this conversation ensued when F was five pegs down)AM

“Yaar, I feel very blessed these days. After all I am getting married. I have never experienced such a thing before. Guess, what I think and I believe that I am in love.”—F

“Hmmmmmmmm :)”—-M

“But I don’t know why the hell this world and all my friends are after me trying to figure out what big a deal is it to get married. It was only yesterday that Mr. X gave me a call. He sounded more surprised than happy to hear about my marriage. Seeing me all too excited, the first thing he mentioned was why I am getting so impatient and irrationally happy. My reply was, isn’t it obvious for a guy who had been waiting for it to happen for so long and had undergone what can truly be referred to as a mental trauma in trying to figure out the best match for himself.”—F

“Hmm, absolutely. And it is good to be happy. Right!”—M

“Ya, that was what I was trying to explain to him. But his version was that there is no need to change oneself for anyone. What crap! It is bound to have some kind of impact on my life in a positive way that is. You know what the problem is, all these ghochoos use to make fun of me in college that no girl would ever become my girlfriend and that they would certainly get married before me. Now the tables have turned and they are not able to digest the fact that the yesteryear ghochoo has now become today’s bond. Ego, you see, is a sure killer. Even Sigmund Freud wouldn’t have imagined, how fatal these egos can be!”—F

And he continued:

“It is not that I want bad for them. But at least they should be happy that their ghochoo has become a bond. What’s the problem in accepting a simple fact that everyone has a bond hidden somewhere inside him. It is up to that individual to bring out that bond in himself and prove to the world that no ghochoo is a born ghochoo and no bond is a born bond. It is how shared and non-shared environment act upon an individual to give him a personality through which he is recognized in this world apart from the Genes that one is happy or sad to inherit from his parents. Why I say, sad, is that at times people are not too happy with the kind of genes they got as a consequence of being born in a family over which they don’t seem to have any control. But then too, I feel they should feel happy that at least they were born a human and not a filthy creature for which there is always a possibility if we were to accept what the Hindu mythology tells us all.”—F

And there he was in no mood to halt.

“You know, I was rejected by four girls. Yes, I know I am not that good looking. I know, I am not that smart when it comes to speaking my mind out. I know, I am not that happening and modern like the urbane guys. But I am a good individual :(.”—-F

And then there was silence, only to be broken again by none other than F.

“You see, it is not only the girls who have to go through all the shitty things before they end up getting married. It is also the guys who, at times, have to go through a lot more than what can ever be imagined in this man-dominated society we seem to be living in. Trust me, it is not so easy to get married. It is only when your parents are fully convinced about the girl’s and the girl’s family’s credentials that you are made to meet the girl. Then too, you don’t know what you are going to talk to the girl and how on earth would it be possible for you to figure out whether the girl will supposedly meet all the expectations that your family has from her. And if at all, you trust your judgement and go ahead with your decision, then too you are blamed for your lack of judgement and stupidity in case some thing bad happens.”—-F

He was too drunk and he kept speaking.

“And that’s what exactly happened in the previous case. You know, I was engaged before this, right. Everything was good and then one fine morning, this girl calls me to inform that she is calling off the marriage and the reason she gave was that she hadn’t told me before about her boyfriend who had now agreed to marry her. It’s so ridiculous, at the same time funny, where these girls consider it as a joke and a game of poker where in they want to and get to chose the best available alternate.”—-F

There was silence again for a second time. And then he finally opened up.

“Dude, I have no grudges against anyone. You see, what is in destiny is bound to happen, no matter whether anyone wants or not; no matter whether your friends call you ghochoo or bond; no matter whether there are numerous hurdles that need to be crossed over before you reach your final goal and no matter whether you are rejected by a couple more girls. Now, tell me who is a ghochoo?:)”—Fom-shanti-om

And then he spoke no more. He was too drunk to speak and had fallen asleep.

As I got up to clear the left overs, it reminded me of a dialogue from a movie which goes something like this, “अंत तक सब कुछ ठीक ही हो जाता है, और अगर ना हो तो पिक्चर अभी बाकी है मेरे दोस्त”.

Source for Image: http://moicache.wordpress.com/2010/02/04/my-take-on-arranged-marriages/, http://www.naachgaana.com/2007/11/09/sandy-reviews-om-shanti-om/

एक आखरी मुलाक़ात !

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Carrying on with my love affair of trying to get into some other person’s shoes or sandals as the case may be 😉 , here I am, again making an attempt at trying to understand the feelings and emotions that a person might be going through, thinking what if he is unable to meet the love of his life for the last and final time. I would like to title it as एक आखरी मुलाक़ात !

कभी कभी किसी से दूर चले जाने का एहसास इतना दर्द नहीं देता जितना कि ये सोच कि हम उस किसी ख़ास से आंखरी बार नहीं मिल पाए तो. उस दिन मेरे साथ भी ऐसा ही कुछ हो रहा था. जहाँ एक ओर उस किसी ख़ास से एक आंखरी बार मिलने के लिए दिल बेकरार था, वहीँ दूसरी ओर इस बात का डर भी था कि उसने मिलने से मना कर दिया तो.

इसी उधेर बुन में मैंने उसे एक आंखरी बार फ़ोन करने का निश्चय किया. बहुत देर तक फ़ोन की घंटी बजती रही पर किसी ने फ़ोन नहीं उठाया. हताश हो कर, मैं जैसे ही एअरपोर्ट के लिए निकलने ही वाला था, तभी मेरा फ़ोन बज उठा. अपने मोबाइल पर प्रकट होते हुए नंबर को देख के मेरी ख़ुशी का ठिकाना नहीं रहा. मैं विश्वास नहीं कर पा रहा था कि फ़ोन उसी का था.girl fighting boy

कभी कभी आप को खुद नहीं पता होता कि आप ज़िन्दगी से क्या चाहते हैं. बस सभी की तरह आप भी ज़िन्दगी के उस बहाव में अपने आप को छोड़ देते हैं, इस आशा से कि ये ज़िन्दगी आपके साथ अच्छा व्यहवार करेगी. मुझे भी इस बात का ज़रा सा भी अंदेशा नहीं था कि जो मैं करने जा रहा था वो मेरी ज़िन्दगी के लिए सही सिद्ध होगा या नहीं. हाँ पर एक विश्वास ज़रूर था कि जो भी होता है अच्छे के लिए ही होता है.

मैंने जल्दी से फ़ोन को उठाया. मानो मेरी सारी परेशानी दुनिया की सबसे हसीन आवाज़ को सुनकर एक पल के लिए गायब हो गयी. हाँ वो कोई और नहीं, मेरी ज़िन्दगी का वो प्यार थी जिसके लिए बिना कुछ सोचे समझे उसके चेहरे पे एक हसी लाने के लिए मैं कुछ भी करने को तैयार हो जाया करता था. जिसकी एक झलख मेरे पूरे दिन की थकान को मिटा देती थी. जिसकी एक अदा पे मैं मरने को भी तैयार हो जाता था. जिसका शर्माना मुझे किसी और ही दुनिया में भेज देता था. जिसके कान के वो झुमके मुझे अपनी ओर आकर्षित करते थे. जिसके घुंगराले बालों में मैं अपने को खो देना चाहता था. हाँ वो कोई और नहीं वही लड़की थी जिसके साथ मैंने अपनी ज़िन्दगी बिताने के सपने देखे थे.

“क्या तुम मुझसे मिल सकती हो?” मुझे इस बात की काफी कम उम्मीद थी की वो मुझसे मिलने को तैयार हो जायेगी.
“हाँ, पर केवल थोड़ी देर के लिए.” मुझे विश्वास ही नहीं हो रहा था की इतना सब हो जाने के बाद भी वो मुझसे मिलने को तैयार हो गयी थी.
मुझे खुद नहीं पता था कि मैं उससे मिल के क्या कहूँगा. हमारे बीच वैसे भी सब कुछ ख़तम ही हो गया था. क्या मुझे इस बात की उम्मीद थी कि वो मेरे पास फिर से एक बार लौट आयेगी? क्या मैं एक बार फिर से उस बीतें हुई ज़िन्दगी को वापस लाना चाहता था? क्या मेरा उसके प्रति प्यार मुझे जाने कि इजाज़त नहीं दे रहा था? क्या मैं चाहता था कि हम दोनों फिर से एक बार साथ हो जाए? क्या उसे अपने से दूर जाता हुआ देख मैं अपने आप को संभाल नहीं पा रहा था? इन सवालों का मेरे पास कोई जवाब नहीं था या शायद मैं इन जवाबों को जान कर भी स्वीकार नहीं करना चाहता था.

शायद मुझे इसी पल का इंतज़ार था. शायद इतने दिनों से मैं इसी मौके की तलाश में था. शायद यही वो मेरी ज़िन्दगी का निर्णायक पल होने वाला था. शायद यही वो आंखरी मौका था जब मैं उसे एक बार फिर से इस बात के लिए राज़ी कर सकता था कि हम फिर से एक साथ हो जाये. और इस बार मैं अपनी कोशिश में कोई कमी नहीं करना चाहता था. मुझे पता था कि गलती मुझसे ही हुई थी पर इसका मतलब ये तो नहीं था कि हम अलग हो जाये. आखिर गलती हर इंसान से होती है. बड़प्पन तो इसी में होता है कि हम उन गलतियों को अनदेखा कर अपनी ज़िन्दगी को और हसीन बनाने की कोशिश करें.

उसे सामने देख जहाँ एक ओर मैं बेहद खुश था वहीँ दूसरी ओर मुझे बिलकुल भी समझ नहीं आ रहा था कि मैं उसको कैसे राज़ी करूंगा. बात बहुत आगे बढ़ चुकी थी.
“तुम्हे पता है कि मैंने ज़िन्दगी में सबसे ज्यादा प्यार आज तक किसे किया है? वो कोई और नहीं तुम हो. हाँ मैं मानता हूँ मुझसे गलती हुई है. मुझे तुम्हे पहले ही सब कुछ बता देना चाहिए था, पर इसके लिए क्या तुम मुझे इतनी बड़ी सज़ा दोगी. क्या मुझे अपनी गलती सुधारने का एक मौका भी नहीं मिलेगा? मैं तुमसे वादा करता हूँ कि मैं सब कुछ ठीक कर दूंगा. फिर से हम उन्ही पुराने दिनों में वापस लौट जायेंगे. क्या तुम मेरे साथ अपनी ज़िन्दगी नहीं बिताना चाहती?….” कहते कहते मैं चुप हो गया. उसकी दोनों आँखों से आंसुओ की लड़ी बह रही थी. बिना कुछ बोले मैंने उसको अपनी बाहों में ले लिया.

“मैं इतने दिनों तक यहीं सोचती रही कि तुमने मुझसे बात करने की कोशिश क्यों नहीं करी. और फिर एक दिन मुझे तुम्हारे ही एक दोस्त से पता चला की तुमने ये देश छोड़ कर जाने का निश्चय कर लिया है. इसी उम्मीद में कि तुम मुझे एक फ़ोन तो करोगे, मैं तुम्हारा इंतज़ार करती रही, पर तुम्हारा फ़ोन नहीं आया. तुम्हे पता है अगर आज तुम्हारा फ़ोन नहीं आता तो मैं पूरी तरह से टूट जाती. क्या तुम्हे हमारे रिश्ते पे इतना सा भी भरोसा नहीं था? क्या तुम्हे मुझपे भरोसा नहीं था? मैंने तुम्हारा हर स्थिति में साथ देने का वादा किया था, तो फिर मैं अपने वादे से पीछे कैसे हट सकती थी? क्या तुम इतनी आसानी से मुझे छोड़ के चले जाते?” मैंने गलती तो की ही थी, पर उससे बड़ी गलती ये थी कि मैंने उसे सुधारने का भी कोई प्रयत्न नहीं किया था.girl meeting boy

मुझे पता था कि मुझे इश्वर ने अपनी गलती सुधारने का एक मौका और दे दिया था. मुझे पता था कि एक बार फिर से वो मेरी ज़िन्दगी में खुशियाँ भरने को तैयार हो गयी थी. आप चाहे जो भी कहें, लड़कियां हम लड़कों से ज्यादा समझदार और भावनात्मक रूप में हम लड़कों से कहीं ज्यादा शक्तिशाली होती हैं. साथ ही साथ उनमें क्षमा भाव भी हम लडको से सामान्य रूप में ज्यादा ही होता है.

कहते हैं अंत भला तो सब भला, पर कभी कभी इस बात को मैं सोच के डर जाता हूँ कि अगर उस दिन मुझे वो आंखरी मुलाकात करने का अवसर नहीं प्राप्त हुआ होता तो क्या होता. इसलिए मेरी आप सभी से गुजारिश है कि अपने साथी से कुछ ना छुपाये. विश्वास एक ऐसी बुनियाद है जिसपे हर रिश्ता अपना अस्तित्व निर्धारित कर ज़िन्दगी में आगे बढ़ता है. इसलिए इस विश्वास की नीव को कभी भी कमज़ोर ना होने दे.

Source for Image: http://nareshkhoisnam.blogspot.in/2012/03/tale-of-manipuri-boy-episode-8.html, http://www.agefotostock.com/en/Stock-Images/Royalty-Free/ETL-ZZ028012

Eiffel Love!

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This one is dedicated to the picture that I just saw on fb of a very dear friend and his girlfriend.

After seeing the picture, I wonder how many girls and guys out there would have wished to do just the same in front of the ever-attracting Eiffel tower.

During my time in Paris, how much I had wished that I would become a part of the histroy by getting involved in the most wonderful of things that a man and a woman is capable of doing together. 😉

Don’t get me wrong guys. Here, I am not playing with a pun. I am simply talking about a harmless kiss :).

The first ever time I visited the Eiffel tower, to give me company was indeed a very pretty face but not by the name of Senorita.Though I felt happy that it was atleast Senorita’s better-half Rahul.
As much as I had wished to replace Rahul by a pretty face in town, I am sure he must have shared this same feeling with me. But as if God had plans for both of us.
No, we didn’t stop right there. We were meant to witness the most magnificent of views to have ever embraced this planet. We went right to the top of Eiffel tower by availing the service of the fastest ever lift of my life to have been working at such a height.
The scene was indeed a treat to the eyes. But what was more fascinating was to see a number of couples expressing their feelings towards each other which of course culminated in the thing that, by now, all you guys and girls out there might be contemplating of doing yourself.
While returning, where on one hand, everyone seemed to be a on a high; Rahul and me seemed to be expressing replica of a person who might have just returned home back from a shell-shock.
We both seemed to be in a state of meditation. As soon as our lift touched ground zero, it was as if we couldn’t bear it further and we had to take it out of our systems:
“Dude! I never wanted it to take place this way.”—Rahul
“Same here buddy! Why did you force me to do this?”—me
“Comeon! You were the one who wanted to go to the Eiffel tower.”—Rahul
“Ya! ok! But what made you come with me? You could have said no.”—me
“I thought that you needed me the most at this point of time. How can you blame me for helping you fulfill your need?”—Rahul
“Ok! chuck it! Let’s go into a bar and lose ourselves into the heaven which they call Paris ;).”—me
And that was it. We were no where to be found till late that very night. What followed thereafter will always remain a mystery ;). But one thing that I can always vouch for is:
“It is really worth it to do it right there on the top.” 😀
So, all couples out there, what are you waiting for? Christmas ;).

Source for Image: http://nadiafaz.blogspot.in/2011/07/take-me-there.html

I have a Plan B!

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Well! I am not talking about a discussion being held in the posch enclaves of a MNC discussion room. I am referring to what youngsters today are constantly harping on.

I am in fact speaking about a love story that is for strange reasons going through situations and circumstances unheard of and unconceived of before this.

If you are wondering what that might be, you indeed need to go through a dynamics that I am about to mention.

Somehow, with the innumerable plans that the telecom companies have got so used to offering lately, this is a classic example of a guy and a girl ending up taking different plans from the same telecom company.

It is quite remarkable how the girls love to write loads of messages expressing themselves to the fullest and leaving no stone unturned to convey their feelings to their boyfriends.

So, what she does in order to fulfill the dream of her life which is to express herself, she ends up opting for a plan which allows her to write lots and lots of messages for just a few bucks.

Happily enough, she ends up messaging her boyfriend at least 100 times in a day and expects her boyfriend to do the same, which of course doesn’t happen, sheerly because of the very nature of a guy.

He ends up taking an economic plan as he thinks it would suffice his needs, ignoring the very recent need of messaging his girlfriend that has of late begun to knock at his door.

What results is anybody’s guess. They end up quarrelling as the girl perceives the guy to have lost interest in her and for ignoring all the stuff that the girl wants to share with her guy.

The guy, in order to avoid all the bickering taking place, decides to opt for the same plan as the girl. He tries to send as many messages as possible from his end, but is never able to compensate the girl for her expression of her feelings.

If this was not enough a cause for the quarrell to even grow worse, they end up fighting for the guy’s inability to call her in the same manner as he used to do before taking up the girl’s plan.

Sometimes, it is so difficult to explain the obvious. The guy tries every thing in the World to come up with an explanation citing that since he has changed his plan, he is unable to make the same number of calls as he used to do before.

But as if the words are falling on a deaf person’s ear, he is unable to get any respite for his explanation. Instead the girl thinks that the guy has started to blame her for everything and of course for no fault of hers.

Seeing the situation go out of control, the guy decides that he won’t be a miser any more and this time around he opts for the most inclusive of plans which allows him not only to send messages to his girlfriend but also gives him enough freedom to make as many calls as he wishes to make on a number which belongs to the same telecom company.

Feeling quite joyful about his act, he decides to call up his girlfriend. With the luxury of time no more being a constraint, he calls her up. But to his utter dismay, he is unable to connect to the same and is met with a voice telling him that the number has been temporarily drawn out of service.

Feeling quite strange about what he just heard, he is left with no other option but to wait for his girlfriend’s call.

After a long wait, he does receive a call from none other than his girlfriend, who is all set to surprise her boyfriend with a breaking news: “Hey, Guess what! I have changed my number. I thought, I was being too possessive. So, I decided that I would take up a number which would give me an opportunity to interact with my family and friends more often at the same time, I would not be pestering you with my calls and messages every now and then. Moreover, the connection that I have taken this time gives much better reception than my previous one. See, I am the best girlfriend that you could have ever dreamt of. Hai na! 🙂 “

The breaking news proved to be a heartbreak for the guy. More than a heartbreak, it leaves him disappointed.Thinking it wiser not to tell his girlfriend about what he had just done for her, he decides to keep the dymanics of the plans to himself: “You are very sweet, baby and very understanding too. That’s why, I am your biggest fan on this planet, Earth. 😉 “

This is how, the whole dynamics of the plans came to an end at least in this case. But I am sure there are many more such stories that are going around in India and deserve a mention.

Having said, all the above, happys endings always give me immense satisfaction and happiness.

Lekin kya karoon, picture abhi baaki hai mere dost 😉

Source for Image: http://www.jadnici.info/page/4, http://www.getbackexgirlfriendadvice.com/, http://www.myniceprofile.com/miss-you-6671.html

What a Guy calls Torture !

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“Baby, I love you na!”–Guy

“Jhoot, sab jhoot! You don’t care for me. You keep roaming with friends. You don’t have any time for me.”–Girl

“Of course not baby! You know even when I am around with friends, I keep thinking about you.”–Guy

“Very funny! Then why didn’t you give me a call?”–Girl

“Oh wo to because I was driving na! And moreover my battery was so low that I couldn’t even send you a message.”–Guy

“What rubbish! If you really wanted to talk to me, you could have called me up from your friend’s cell or a PCO.”–Girl

“Hey, guess what! I gotta surprise for you.”–Guy (tries to change the topic of conversation)

“Is it? What? Now it better be good for you have lots n lots to make up to me.”–Girl

Well, these are not dialogues from some movie of the genre of DCH (I am sure you all remember the character played by Saif Ali Khan), but a real life talking example between a girl and a guy, who finally takes a sigh of relief having deviated the girl away from the topic that he so hates to discuss, but is forced to do so anyway, because of the very perseverance shown by the girl.

It’s not that the girl doesn’t understand that the guy is trying to take her away from the crux of the matter, but she believes in letting him go until the next time, as she thinks that she has thrown enough of tantrums for this time, and moreover she awaits thesurprisethat is supposed to be coming her way.

The guy, on the other hand, thinks that how intelligent he is, for managing to escape from the topic and for having restored normalcy in the relationship again. Though, he doesn’t have the slightest of notions about what is in store for him in times to come when this very example and many more would be cited in order to initiate a conversation (more so a fight), which would totally be guided by the mood of the girl.

In short, the guy doesn’t realize that he has become, nothing, but a slave of the wishes of his girlfriend. Soon after, what follows is as good as anyone’s guess. A series of quarrelling which soon turn into serious debates about relationships and what results in the end is a breakup.

On being asked to the guy as to what had resulted in him and his girlfriend resorting to such an action, his answer is pretty much reflective of his understanding and perception about a relation, which is nothing but immensely immature.

“She made my life hell, you see. She didn’t give me any space. I felt so constrained that I couldn’t really breathe.”–Guy’s explanation

Somehow, I have heard and listened to such explanations so often, that there was a time when I seriously started doubting the intention of a girl. The ever reverberating question kept stimulating my mind: What does a girl really want? Is she always after the life of a guy?

On going a bit deeper into the complex nature of the relationship, I realized that it all starts withpep talkwherein a guy tries to do any and everything in order to woo the girl. He resorts to actions which might be totally incompatible with the basic personality of the guy, which in turn develops expectations on part of the girl, which the guy would never be able to fulfill in the future, sheerly because it doesn’t match the very basic nature of the guy.

As a result one can hear the girl saying:Tum to aise nahi the. Kitna badal gaye ho tum,which if we think from the girl’s perspective is so true.

Having said the above, what one really wants to know is whether there is a solution to the whole dynamics that I have described above.

I believe that for any realtionship to succeed, the most important ingredient is honesty. One needs to be honest to both oneself and his/her partner. It is extremely important to put your true self in front of a person whom you are thinking of spending your whole life with.

There is absolutely no requirement what so ever for faking or doing something which you are not capable of doing and which you certainly will not be doing in the future.

At the same time, the girl should understand that there is a general pattern or a curve that every relationship follows. With the relationship becoming more and more mature, things certainly are bound to change. The form of expression of love might change. The depth of conversations might become more mature and serious at times.

This, in no way, is reflective of the fact that the love quotient has gone down between the couple or the relationship has lost the charm that it once had. It is just indicative of a fact that the relationship has become more strong and solid.

In the end, what a guy calls torture is a result of his own activites at times and as a guy, one should try to abide by the principles of honesty.

The question that needs to be understood more than answering is: “Can you honestly love a dishonest thing?”

Source for Image: http://www.milliondollarmarriage.me/honesty-trust-respect-love, http://www.ortegaumc.org/pages/pastor_notes_8-15-10.html