Society vis-a-vis Children!

The other day, I received a call from a very dear friend who gave me the most exciting and in all senses the breaking news of his life, “Dude, I got married.

Wow! Congrats yaar!” came back the reply from my end.

Yup, Thanks. But there is a problem. We have not informed her parents.” After a long long time, I was getting to hear this. On one hand where it sounded like a script from a Bollywood movie, on the other hand there was an apprehension as to what’s going to happen in the near future? How the girl’s parents would react to the feat that their child had accomplished? Would they give their approval or would they boycott their daughter from their family?society

The problem was compounded, thanks to the nature of the marriage that had ensued. The guy belongs to a North Indian family, which is not so rigid when it comes to marrying a girl from a different caste or culture. On the other hand, the girl belongs to a family which is a hard core South Indian Pundit family, who cannot but imagine marrying their daughter in another caste, leave alone marrying her to a North Indian.

The thought of how the girl’s parents would react is making the couple very nervous. Though they had the courage to take this very significant step in their lives, this thought is driving them nuts. The girl fears the worst and is expecting her to be thrown out of her family. The guy, on his part, though he feels happy, is concerned about his girl who is all set to go through what can surely be called an emotional turmoil in more ways than one.

Though we proudly cite living in the 21st century India, there are certain elements in our country and our culture (which is too varied to be classified as one), which makes me wonder whether we have been successful in evolving from that conservative mentality, which personally for me, represent the core when it comes to differentiating between modern and not so modern.

Somehow, in all this hooplah attached to the caste and culture, the 21st century kids and youngsters are caught confused, not knowing which way to tread. On one hand where they witness the intermixing of various dfferent cultures, thanks to the increased movement of people and increased globalization; on the other hand, they are expected to stick to their hard core values being imposed on them by their very own parents and grandparents who want them to keep their family and clan flag flying high.

For a girl, who wishes to see everyone happy around her, it becomes what can be termed as mission impossible. Atleast in this case, if she choses to go along with the love of her life, which she has, she is bound to lose upon the love and affection she received throughout her life from her parents (acting too rigid to understand what their child wants, just because of societal and family pressure) and if she would have decided to leave her boyfriend (at one time and now her husband), she would have to repent throughout her life for having done so (which thankfully has not been the case here).

At the end of it all, if we take a very pragmatic point of view, it is the couple who will be spending their lives together for most part of their life, if we ignore the few interactions that they are bound to be having with their family during those events and celebrations where each and every member of the extended family happens to gather at one place at the same point of time.

But on an emotional level, the couple would certainly want, at least the immediate family to be blessing the couple and welcoming them with open arms. After all, this is what will make them really happy.parent

For the parents who tend to involve their egos and self-respect with their child’s wishes, it is my earnest request to think beyond what the society tells them to think. For them, the point that they need to consider is whether they would want to place their children above in the priority list, over and above the society and the extended family members.

Source for Image: http://www.tcd.ie/research/themes/inclusive-society/, http://www.churstongrammar.com/parents/

Zinda ho Tum?

It is 3 a.m. in the morning. I don’t know why the hell I am not sleeping. Without going into the details of why I am not sleeping and ignoring what the doctor had to tell me the other day when I went for a check up regarding my backbone (as both these tend to make me not feel good about myself 😉), I must tell you how wonderful a view I just got to witness from my balcony, which is fortunately located on the 7th floor of a high rise apartment in my city.

I could nearly see the entire city sleeping right in front of my eyes. The silence is too intriguing, only to be broken by a couple of vehicles that tend to race down the street in search of their respective destinations. Even the government colony (I have always wondered as to which department it belongs to but haven’t found the same till date), which stands right across my apartment, seems a master piece when it comes to the architectural description of the same.

I, feeling this way, could only mean two things. Either the government has become very creative or I have lost it at 3 a.m. in the morning and am in the mode of hallucinating about things ranging from anything to everything in this World. Somehow, I have become a die-hard fan of the calm and the silence coupled with the suspense that night tends to bring along with itself.

This whole night phenomenon tends to cast its serene shadow on all the homo sapiens who have got so used to missing all the charisma that tends to accompany the moon. I guess, it is because of the way in which we have evolved over time that we have got so accustommed to be sleeping at night and performing all our livelihood activities during the day time.MD167~The-Meaning-Of-Life-James-Frey-Posters

I, sometimes, wonder how different the things would have been if it was the other way round. Consider a scenario wherein our predecessors had the luxury of light and energy. Would they have preferred slogging in the heat during day-time or instead would they have chosen to work in the extremely pleasant weather that night choses to bestow upon us? And in that case, we would all be sleeping during the day time and working at night. How wonderful it would have been to see the rising sun after having slogged hard at night!

Coming back to the reality, we are still very much living a so called normal life, where we sleep at night and work during the day-time. The circadian rythms tend to follow a normal course in this case and we all tend to be happy living a very normal and at times dull and boring life.

It is not that keeping awake at night is going to make our lives happening. It is just that how used to we have all become to leading a normal way of life that on every occassion where the situation demands a bit of risk to be taken at our end, we tend to shy away from the same, thinking about the consequences that it might bring along with itself and wondering whether it is in our own interest to be deviating away from the normal way of life that we have got so accustommed to living.

Today, I was talking to a very dear friend of mine, who was telling me how much he would have loved to break free from the shackles of the normal life that he is living at the moment. How much he wished he could just get away from all the daily hassels that he involuntarily has to go through.

I know that it is not possible to be doing this every day. And some of you might even contest the claim that the normal life is the ideal life, so to say, as it tends to bring along stability, a sense of responsibility and in turn makes us become the ideal societal being that this society wants to turn us all into.

True to some extent, and of course I am not averse to the idea of having normality restored in our lives. What I don’t like, though, is that in trying to lead a normal life, we all tend to lose the essence of life altogether. We end up getting caught in this 5-day (Thank God it is Friday TGIF) kind of notions, wherein all the pleasure and the fun emanating from the very concept of life seems to get lost in this materialistic hooplah.

What better way to conclude this article than by taking a leaf from the movie ZNMD (Zindagi na Milegi Dobara):Zindaginamilegidobara

Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho.
Toh zinda ho tum!
Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!

Hawa ke jhonkon ke jaise aazad rehna seekho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise, leharon mein behna seekho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein
Har ek pal ek naya samaa dekhe ye nigaahe

Jo apni aankhon mein hairaniyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!

Source for Image: http://www.the-means-of-life.blogspot.in/, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zindagi_Na_Milegi_Dobara

Make a Choice!

This one is on demand. For the past couple of days, Saty (I hope you guys remember the guy) was asking me to write in Hindi, a couple of lines that would express my feeling towards a very special person in my life and here I am complying with the idea :).

मौसम तो खुशमिजाज़ है फिर दिल ये तनहा आज क्यूँ है,
कहती अलविदा तो तू हर रात है फिर आँखें नम आज क्यूँ है,
देते थे ख़ुशी जो पल तेरे साथ के यादें उनकी दे रही गम आज क्यूँ है,
असर तेरी मोहब्बत का है मेरे प्यार बिछड़ने का तुझसे हो रहा जो एहसास यूँ है.

A feeling that has come across so well! Whenever I read something, an image tends to form in my mind and I can feel as if the narration is happening right in front of my eyes.

Reading the above takes me to a place where a guy is sitting underneath a tree and is thinking about the moment when his girl friend decides to leave him and go away forever from his life. वो कहते हैं ना शायरी तभी दिल से निकलती है जब दर्द होता है.

No matter how much one deny, no matter how much one tries to act smart, this is one emotion that everyone wants to experience in his or her life. It is not only because of Shahrukh Khan that this emotion has been able to gain the mileage in the current century that we are living in, but also because it forms such an essential part of our emotional and social self.faces

It had been there since times immemorial and will always remain with us, for it is deeply imbibed in both our sub-conscious and the conscious. You might  succeed in eliminating the thoughts in your conscious but you certainly can’t do anything about the sub-conscious which not only makes you remember things from your past, but also enables you to derive pleasure from the same.

I wonder if there was no sub-conscious then what would have happened. But why the hell one should be thinking about what could have been. Instead we should always try to focus on what is and what could be.

How many hours we tend to waste in reminiscing about our past. How wonderful it would be if we spend that same time in thinking about what we would want to do right now or why thinking, just doing what we want to do.

It is said that life never gives us a second chance, for it is you, who need to grab that second chance. It is up to you to decide to do something rather than wait for something to happen for you. It is up to you to choose between sitting underneath a tree and say, moving on, thereby ensuring that you give yourself another opportunity to find love once again in life.choice

Life is indeed a roller coaster. You will get some and you will lose some. You will have to go through the ups and downs of the same, whether you like it or not. It is up to you, at the end of the day, to decide how happy you want to feel when you are on the up and how sad when you are on the down.

As far as I am concerned, if one doesn’t want to and doesn’t chose to be unhappy, then life sometimes gives up its stubborn ideas and let you be what you want to be.

Source for Image: http://www.thefitbee.com/2012/04/make-your-choice.html, http://researchsense.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/a-good-reminder-super-bowl-ads-and-emotion/