Seriously?

Let me ask you a very simple question: what do you think is the root cause of all our issues?

Is it the lack of awareness of our hidden self as Freud puts it, or is it the irrational way in which we were conditioned all our lives, as many behavioral psychologists would vouch for?

If we were to make it simple enough, is it our inability to accept ourselves in full or part or is it the perception of others that tend to haunt us?

Is it the lack of EQ (Emotional Quotient) or is it lack of IQ as many of us would want to label it as?

On the hindsight, have you ever wondered, how much you want people to consider what you say seriously, have you ever wished that your bf/gf would take you seriously and in good regard?

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If at all, this was to happen, what in your opinion it would be, good or bad?

Most of us would consider it as the best thing that could have possibly happened to you in your life, right?

Though, on second thoughts, it might be the worse that could ever happen to you, for it’s not about how serious your life ends up becoming, but how light you can possibly make it, by not taking things too seriously.

After all, for your own good, nothing is serious enough to be taken seriously!

Source for the Image: https://twitter.com/seriouslive

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Society vis-a-vis Children!

The other day, I received a call from a very dear friend who gave me the most exciting and in all senses the breaking news of his life, “Dude, I got married.

Wow! Congrats yaar!” came back the reply from my end.

Yup, Thanks. But there is a problem. We have not informed her parents.” After a long long time, I was getting to hear this. On one hand where it sounded like a script from a Bollywood movie, on the other hand there was an apprehension as to what’s going to happen in the near future? How the girl’s parents would react to the feat that their child had accomplished? Would they give their approval or would they boycott their daughter from their family?society

The problem was compounded, thanks to the nature of the marriage that had ensued. The guy belongs to a North Indian family, which is not so rigid when it comes to marrying a girl from a different caste or culture. On the other hand, the girl belongs to a family which is a hard core South Indian Pundit family, who cannot but imagine marrying their daughter in another caste, leave alone marrying her to a North Indian.

The thought of how the girl’s parents would react is making the couple very nervous. Though they had the courage to take this very significant step in their lives, this thought is driving them nuts. The girl fears the worst and is expecting her to be thrown out of her family. The guy, on his part, though he feels happy, is concerned about his girl who is all set to go through what can surely be called an emotional turmoil in more ways than one.

Though we proudly cite living in the 21st century India, there are certain elements in our country and our culture (which is too varied to be classified as one), which makes me wonder whether we have been successful in evolving from that conservative mentality, which personally for me, represent the core when it comes to differentiating between modern and not so modern.

Somehow, in all this hooplah attached to the caste and culture, the 21st century kids and youngsters are caught confused, not knowing which way to tread. On one hand where they witness the intermixing of various dfferent cultures, thanks to the increased movement of people and increased globalization; on the other hand, they are expected to stick to their hard core values being imposed on them by their very own parents and grandparents who want them to keep their family and clan flag flying high.

For a girl, who wishes to see everyone happy around her, it becomes what can be termed as mission impossible. Atleast in this case, if she choses to go along with the love of her life, which she has, she is bound to lose upon the love and affection she received throughout her life from her parents (acting too rigid to understand what their child wants, just because of societal and family pressure) and if she would have decided to leave her boyfriend (at one time and now her husband), she would have to repent throughout her life for having done so (which thankfully has not been the case here).

At the end of it all, if we take a very pragmatic point of view, it is the couple who will be spending their lives together for most part of their life, if we ignore the few interactions that they are bound to be having with their family during those events and celebrations where each and every member of the extended family happens to gather at one place at the same point of time.

But on an emotional level, the couple would certainly want, at least the immediate family to be blessing the couple and welcoming them with open arms. After all, this is what will make them really happy.parent

For the parents who tend to involve their egos and self-respect with their child’s wishes, it is my earnest request to think beyond what the society tells them to think. For them, the point that they need to consider is whether they would want to place their children above in the priority list, over and above the society and the extended family members.

Source for Image: http://www.tcd.ie/research/themes/inclusive-society/, http://www.churstongrammar.com/parents/

A True Friend!

The weekend that has just gone by came along with its series of varied experiences. I happened to meet a guy from my college days after a span of 7 years. Much had changed since then.

The guy, who used to be one of the most prolific of thinkers and persons whom I had known in college had become a mere reflection of his self. Once the president of our hostel, now he didn’t seem to reflect the same persona as he used to, once. We always used to think that he would go a long way in his life.

To some extent he has, but not as much as we might have expected him to go. He says that the destiny has not been very kind to him. A sequence of incidents in his life has changed him a lot. He has been through really tough times.

Though, he says that the tough part is over, yet the consequences of the same seemed to have followed him wherever he decides to go and in turn has brought once again in front of his eyes, harsh realities which he would so want to forget.

They say that a one-off incident is easily forgotten, but when that one-off incident is a life-altering experience then one needs to think twice before making such a statement.

As a friend, it doesn’t feel good having seen the man in the state that he is. As a friend, I would want everything to go back to normal in his life. As a friend, I would always wish the best for him.

But the question is, as a friend, can I help him overcome the setbacks that he has been through in his life? As a friend, can I make sure that he is able to think in a positive manner? As a friend, can I help him in his recovery process?

Even if I cannot decide things for him, I can certainly give him the support or the best advice that I possibly can, based on my understanding of his perceptions and thought process.friend Even if I am unable to do the above, I can still stand next to him, providing him the mental and emotional support that he might need in his life. After all, that’s what friends are supposed to do.

It is very natural and easy to criticize someone for having tread the path that they did. But, a true friend, instead of criticizing would try to help the other in ways he or she possibly wants to be helped.

A true friend would not wait for help to be demanded, instead would offer voluntarily. A true friend will not make fun of the person in front of others, but would try to figure out a reason and the solution for the same.

I have come across different kind of people in my life and I would want to believe that no matter how much selfish or self-centred one might become, there will always be this small amount of goodness hidden in some corner, which would propel one to do good things in life and in turn make him or her a responsible and a dependable person.

The only question that you need to answer and take a call on is whether you want to explore that corner and bring out the goodness from the same.

Source for Image: http://myexposition.wordpress.com/2010/06/28/the-values-of-friendship/

Make a Choice!

This one is on demand. For the past couple of days, Saty (I hope you guys remember the guy) was asking me to write in Hindi, a couple of lines that would express my feeling towards a very special person in my life and here I am complying with the idea :).

मौसम तो खुशमिजाज़ है फिर दिल ये तनहा आज क्यूँ है,
कहती अलविदा तो तू हर रात है फिर आँखें नम आज क्यूँ है,
देते थे ख़ुशी जो पल तेरे साथ के यादें उनकी दे रही गम आज क्यूँ है,
असर तेरी मोहब्बत का है मेरे प्यार बिछड़ने का तुझसे हो रहा जो एहसास यूँ है.

A feeling that has come across so well! Whenever I read something, an image tends to form in my mind and I can feel as if the narration is happening right in front of my eyes.

Reading the above takes me to a place where a guy is sitting underneath a tree and is thinking about the moment when his girl friend decides to leave him and go away forever from his life. वो कहते हैं ना शायरी तभी दिल से निकलती है जब दर्द होता है.

No matter how much one deny, no matter how much one tries to act smart, this is one emotion that everyone wants to experience in his or her life. It is not only because of Shahrukh Khan that this emotion has been able to gain the mileage in the current century that we are living in, but also because it forms such an essential part of our emotional and social self.faces

It had been there since times immemorial and will always remain with us, for it is deeply imbibed in both our sub-conscious and the conscious. You might  succeed in eliminating the thoughts in your conscious but you certainly can’t do anything about the sub-conscious which not only makes you remember things from your past, but also enables you to derive pleasure from the same.

I wonder if there was no sub-conscious then what would have happened. But why the hell one should be thinking about what could have been. Instead we should always try to focus on what is and what could be.

How many hours we tend to waste in reminiscing about our past. How wonderful it would be if we spend that same time in thinking about what we would want to do right now or why thinking, just doing what we want to do.

It is said that life never gives us a second chance, for it is you, who need to grab that second chance. It is up to you to decide to do something rather than wait for something to happen for you. It is up to you to choose between sitting underneath a tree and say, moving on, thereby ensuring that you give yourself another opportunity to find love once again in life.choice

Life is indeed a roller coaster. You will get some and you will lose some. You will have to go through the ups and downs of the same, whether you like it or not. It is up to you, at the end of the day, to decide how happy you want to feel when you are on the up and how sad when you are on the down.

As far as I am concerned, if one doesn’t want to and doesn’t chose to be unhappy, then life sometimes gives up its stubborn ideas and let you be what you want to be.

Source for Image: http://www.thefitbee.com/2012/04/make-your-choice.html, http://researchsense.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/a-good-reminder-super-bowl-ads-and-emotion/