Tag Archives: Failure

Opportunus!

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We keep talking about this opportunity or that opportunity. 

Someone getting lucky because the roll of the dice was such.

Timing being right, right place at the right time. 

But have we ever wondered about this constant fascination and tendency of attributing everything to the RIGHT situations. 

Well, what are these opportunities and how they fall flat for some and not for others? 

Where do these come from?

What is the source?

Are they created or all laid down?

Are they destined to happen in a certain way for few individuals?

For the not so successful, it might be destiny 

And 

The ones who have made the cut might talk about the efforts they put in. 

Whatever be the version, there is nothing in the world that comes as a grant. 

It’s ultimately the result of the hard work one puts in.

Lets look at it this way:

Result is directly proportional to the effort one makes contingent upon the boundaries that one has created for themselves in their minds.

Is there a chance to expand those boundaries? 

Delta by delta, can we keep expanding our horizons?

No one learnt to walk the very day they were born,

Constant efforts along with some mentorship and support made it possible. 

Why not treat our life as a platform of opportunities to keep expanding each day!

The only opportunity one has by the way is to keep creating opportunities on a daily basis, be it personal or professional. 

The only question being, are we prepared to treat this life as an opportunity to accomplish things we would be remembered for. 

Source for the Image: http://ejmayers.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-origin-of-opportunity.html, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/opportunity

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Resolutions: USNE-उसने

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What do we do when something goes wrong?

or

We meet with an accident?

or

We don’t qualify an exam?

or

We are beaten up by a teacher?

What is the first reaction in such situations?

We try to get into an escapist role, where we start to put the blame on either the:

Situation

or

Other person

You

Have you ever given it a consideration, why it’s so difficult to take responsibility for our own actions?

Why the hesitation of not being able to accept the situation and the consequences of the same, which by the way, happens because of our own actions?

What is it that we fear?

Won’t it be better if we were to stand up for, if nothing else, our own actions?

At least that would make us less:

Insecure,

Fearsome,

And

Make us more:

Sensible,

Confident

Individuals, who are prepared to provide solutions to problems.

So, till the time one realizes that there is nothing like Hum Tum (You and Me),

Till we still have a tendency to delve into the duality of everything in existence,

Till we understand that we are no different from each other,

Why not make a fresh start,

A new year resolution,

Which makes us at least not put the blame on the other person (USNE-उसने).

The only question being, are we prepared to take up this challenge in 2020?

Source for the Image: http://pluspng.com/and-you-png-9765.html

Comparison Kills?

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A series of incidents:

A guy born and brought up in an effluent family in India, goes to Canada to pursue his higher studies and commits suicide for the want of not being able to meet his own expectations, based on the comparison he draws with his classmate.

A guy makes it to a premier institute in India and commits suicide while in his final year, because he gets an F (fail) in one of the courses.

Makes one ponder what kind of society one is living in and the kind of upbringing it has to offer to the next generation.

Conditioned from the childhood itself to draw comparisons,

Conditioned to compete and be a part of the rat race,

Conditioned to jump to conclusions for the want of immediate gratification and not having a long-term perspective in mind,

Conditioned to think in a manner which might make no sense at all to the very fundamentals of life,

Is this what we desire for our kids and the next generation?

Is this what’s the purpose was to bring a new life in this world?

comparison

Well, it’s high time, one delves into the above questions and begin to change the way we all have got habituated to living our lives in a senseless manner.

For, if we don’t respond, the day is not far, when such inclinations might become the only guiding force in life, needless to say, leading to a much worse situation that what it is right now.

The question though is, do we have the mindset and willingness to bring about this change?

Source for the Image: http://www.differencebetween.info/difference-between-comparison-and-difference

It’s all about Playing Games!

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Sports has had a very integral role in my growing up years. Has been instrumental in teaching me things which I will cherish all my life. What comes along with playing sports is you get into a habit of watching sports and when it be the biggest sporting event, one can hardly miss upon the wonderful performances.

Yes, Olympics did have its own set of controversies and accomplishments, which each one of us know and would not really want to get into the complexities of the same. What I would instead want to talk about is few things which I learnt from my sporting years, both playing and watching, and which I think are extremely relevant when it comes to leading our day-to-day lives.

I still remember, cable connection used to be a luxury at home only to be availed during our summer holidays because my mom was very particular about her kids not wasting time on the same and instead wanted us to focus on academics.

Those were the days, when on a Sunday, if there was supposed to be a cricket match being played between India and another nation, when I would get up around 5 or so in the morning to first play my favorite sports and then get ready to watch it at a friend’s place.

Probably, the ease with which one becomes disciplined with no one else telling you all the time to do so, was the biggest habit which I was drawn into, courtesy sports. Now I realize how his gets translated to any other aim or goal that you set for yourself and carve out a path to achieve the same, which comes pretty naturally to you and makes it a cake walk when it comes to adapting yourself to the grueling schedule.images

While, on the field, since it’s a team sports and your victory is determined by how everyone else is performing, a team sports, no matter how much you would want to, doesn’t give you the liberty to become selfish, instead teaches you to do your job selflessly, striving towards a larger goal at all times.

Such great mentoring, especially during the formative years of a child, instills in him/her an ability to think beyond one’s profit and loss and instead focus on the common good, leaving little scope for comparisons and the resulting jealousy, in turn enabling one to lead a much happier life.

The wonderful think about sports like any other other field is the adulation that one gets when one wins. Though it has its own confidence boosting effect, at the same time, it more often than not, leads to over-confidence and ego.

But as with every other thing, this two has its in-built neutralizing formula, where in you don’t always win, but lose as well. It’s incredible how the ego comes shattering down when you brag and lose, in turn teaching you a very important lesson in life, which is to remain balanced at every point of time in your life and take success and failures in the same stride.

Another extra-ordinary thing about sports is that it teaches you that there are no limits to what you can achieve. In every tournament new records are set, which inspires every individual to have faith in his/her ability to go beyond the usual, and more importantly to think that one can actually cross the line with better efforts, thereby motivating one to continue with the hard work.

And the most important of all that sports teaches you is, that nothing comes easy. You have to put in the hard work, you have to make each moment, each day count for the incremental improvements to take place, you have to be conscious of the fact that it needs to be worked upon.

Doesn’t it sound similar to working on any social relationship in the World that we tend to get into during the wonderful journey that we all call life, be it spouse or kids?

If it does hit your realization, then make sure you and your family get into a habit of playing sports, for it’s all about playing games and the more you play with the right spirit, the more satisfied and happy you would be in life.

Source for Image: https://sites.jmu.edu/103fall14/are-youth-sports-too-competitive-draft-i/

The Dreaded Review!

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It’s again the same time of the year when the ever so dreaded at the same time looked forward to term, review, will take place or has already taken place for the majority who work in order to make a living.

More often than not, many would think that the boss has not been fair in evaluating all aspects of the work that you might have done in the year gone by.

Many might perceive that due credit has not been given to for what you accomplished and somewhere the credit has been bagged by a colleague whom you believe might have performed at a level which might be far less than what you perceive to have performed at.

Have you ever wondered, what this review consist of? No matter how much you want to rationalize and make the entire process logical and fair, that’s what the HR department all over the world aim at and claim to be doing, the thing that matters the most is how well you are able to cope up with relationships in your ecosystem.

Be it your home or in office, what matters the most is your ability to get along well with people with different opinions and mindset and to be able to build a genuine healthy relationship with all.

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And that in no way is suggesting that one should fool around and be political about the entire aspect, but have a fairly high level of compassion and integrity when it comes to be able to slip into others’ shoes and see the world from their perspective.

Harder done than said, one who is able to accomplish this feat, never seems to have a bad review, be it the wife at home, or be it the boss in the office, be it the parents waiting to get a call from their loved ones or be it the sons and daughters waiting for their mom or dad to come back and spend quality time with them.

I would admit that there have been people who have crossed my path on several occasions who have been an inspiration in the true sense of the word. They have taught me how to handle situations or more importantly how to perceive the situation in the first instance.

Such men/women are exemplary in everything they do. They tend to have a positive bent of mind and look at things very differently from the rest of us. These people take success and failure (which comes very seldom) in the same stride.

These are the men/women, who wouldn’t want to focus on the past, having drawn their learning, and would instead focus on the present. They would be more interested in what didn’t work rather than why it didn’t work.

Such are the people that one should try to associate with, learn from them, get inspired and even emulate the aspects which make them so wonderful and different. After all, it’s better to have people with a positive attitude surrounding you compared to people who are always whining or complaining about one thing or the other.

Friends, reviews will come and go, sometimes they will be good at times bad, but what will matter the most is your ability to motivate yourself to become a better individual each minute, each hour and each day of your lives.

Source for Image: http://mobile-spyreviews.com/mobistealth_reviews/

Moving Out!

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More often than not we humans, worry more about getting in rather than moving out, whether it be a job that one has been desperately searching for, or a movie hall when the movie is about to begin, be it a shared taxi to get the finest possible seat, or be it the shared toilet in a hostel where every one is gearing to do what they are of course supposed to do.

Yes, there are always exceptions to the rule with the likes of us, Indians who have got so habitual to breaking cues when it comes to, lets say, getting out of an airplane immediately after it comes to a halt or be it the ticket counter for various utilities, thanks to the insecurity that is so deeply imbibed in all of us having been brought up in an era with stiff competition and lack of resources.

Somehow, moving out in some cases, at the right time, is as important, if not more, than moving in, be it an emergency evacuation or a failed relationship. Today, I am going to talk about an aspect of our lives which tends to consume at least 60-70% of our productive life, if not more. Yes, I am referring to none other than the professional set up towards which we tend to devote more than half our lives.

How often have you thought of calling it a quit, yet staying for the lack of courage or contemplating the uncertainty of the future? How often have you forced yourself to go to the office every single day of your life trying to motivate yourself for something/someone which you don’t like doing and if it were not for the society around you, you would never do so?

How often have you neglected your true callings, your inner voice to continue to do something which brings you lot of bitcoins and perceived social success but not enough happiness? How often have you craved for spending that extra hour with your loved ones but have not been able to do so for the challenges and complexities of living a “conventional” investment banking kind of a profile?

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I believe many of us would have been into the situations where we would have no answers to the above. Many would wonder that in order to live the kind of life that one or one’s loved ones want to live comes with sacrifices. Many would want to call the people who follow their heart as losers and might be inspired by the likes of “chatur” of “3 Idiots” fame, still there are these few who follow their heart and tend to become the “chanchads” of their batch.

If you ask the latter, what they achieve by doing so, they would give you all kinds of philosophies supporting their lifestyle, which you might really not agree with, still the kind of peace and calm that is so evident on their faces, even after not being able to convince you, would make you feel jealous of the fact, and would leave you wondering, “kaash main bhi aisa kar paata/paati“.

If you think they are doing something drastically out of this world, you are mistaken, for they are only doing the thing they like doing. They are doing what they think they were supposed to do, having born on this planet earth. They believe that if if they were not doing the same, they wouldn’t be doing anything, possibly not living at all.

Yes, they are normal human beings. They too have insecurities regarding not being able to accomplish the love of their life. Yes, they fear being not able to make it big and meet others’ expectations.

But the difference is that they are able to move out of this thinking which holds them back, in a flash. They are able to overcome the fears arising out of the above. They are able to convince one and all about the happiness that would come in, if they were doing what they think they were meant to do.

They take failures and success in the same stride. They learn to become moderately happy when they strike gold and moderately sad when they don’t. For them the path or the journey becomes more important than the goal.

They master the art of moving out of the normal. After all, don’t you think the ultimate goal for all of us remain more or less the same, yet paths will differ significantly.

Now, it’s up to you to decide which path to tread, for it’s only you who knows where your true calling lies. Time to MOVE OUT?

Source for Image: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/530791506055972532/

2 Sides of the Coin!

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When you succeed, you are often asked, as well you often tend to focus on speaking about what things you did right, what is to be done in order to taste bliss, and more often than not the conversations tend to revolve around you and what you have done to get what you desired.

But there is a totally different take on things for those who don’t so called succeed. For these perceived unfortunate folks, the conversation revolves around what was not to be done, what they did wrong, what could have they done differently, what were the areas where they could improve and somehow they seem to talk about not them but others who did things in a different manner and tasted success.

For the former lot, the conversations seem to be conclusive, whereas for the latter who didn’t succeed, the conversations tend to be progressive and often moving in the right direction.

For the latter, to fail and then succeed is another high altogether which the former might not be able to comprehend having not gone through the same. Having said that the former don’t have any harsh feelings about not being able to fail and they are more than happy that they succeeded ;).

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But life, as it comes to us all, there would be times when we would fail, and times when we would succeed in our endeavors. There are bound to be highs and lows in life. The earlier one realizes the same, the earlier one learns to take both success and failure in the same stride.

The earlier one learns to fail and then succeed, the earlier one becomes better equipped on handling different so called stressful situations of our lives. The earlier one learns to fall in the right manner, the earlier one learns to rise faster with same enthusiasm.

That doesn’t mean that you should try to fail whenever the opportunity arises :), but if it were to happen, learn from the same and be prepared for the next challenge of your life.

After all, life is not about success and failure, it is how well you understand the 2 sides of the coin and evolve from there.

Source for the Image: http://www.alternet.org/economy/trillion-dollar-coin-joke-or-game-changer

The Inevitable Change!

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Change is the ultimate truth of life. Whether we wish for it or not, every situation is a bit different from the other, every time is not the same, every place has its own ethos and culture, every organization treats its employees differently and every team needs to cope up with people coming in and out of the same pot, some drawing from it and some contributing to the same.

How does a leader or a manager cope with the same is the billion dollar question that seems to have no ready made recipe as an answer. Some are able to think beyond what others can see or visualize, few among them have the guts to take that risk, though at times it might back fire, yet they eventually end up making the first move, few among these emerge successful and few are left to bite the dust. images

No matter whether the leader has the guts or not, what keeps the team going is a positive frame of mind and an ability to rise to the occasion with their favourable attitudes and a passion to succeed. On the other hand, what ruins a team party so to say is ego, over-confidence and complacency that tends to hit the team who get into a habit of winning.

In that case, it is extremely important to have your feet on the the ground and always keep striving for that extra bit when it comes to setting goals and timelines and eventually going on to achieve the same.

This includes not only analyzing your failure to understand what’s not to be done but also scrutinizing your victories to see what worked and whether what worked was because of things that were done in the right manner or because some things happened to fall in the right place at the right time.

This would ensure that one develops a habit and a culture for learning and continuous improvement, which is per say the only thing that can keep afloat a team or an organization for that matter, in these times of uncertainty and ambiguity.

Source for Image: http://www.forbes.com/fdc/welcome_mjx.shtml

The No. 1 Aunty!

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I have had the fortune of knowing this wonderful lady for years now. Her husband was my father’s colleague (now retired) and they used to reside right in front of our government alloted house.

Whenever I used to meet her in a social gathering or at either of our homes, she would go on talking about how well her son and daughter were performing in their respective classes and were rewarded for the same by their schools. It seemed as if there were no better kids than hers on this planet Earth.

When it came to her husband, she was not much behind with citation of circumstances when her husband was able to pull off a great feat and was able to restore the dignity of the government department. It seemed that the department was performing well only because of the efforts that her husband was putting in.parents1

Pretentious, as it might sound, all her hopes and aspirations were hooked on to her children and husband. I guess, our mother’s generation belonged to an era wherein they were supposed to derive happiness and satisfaction from their husband’s and children’s success.

Courtesy her efforts, her son qualified the JEE examination and went on to study engineering from IIT Kanpur, which she used to refer to as the No. 1 institute for engineering in India and this time around she had the rankings to boost her claim. If this was not enough, right after completing his B.Tech from IIT Kanpur, he went on to do a PhD from MIT, which is again considered to be one of the best (though for her it was always THE BEST).

Her daughter was not much behind and she went a step further to do an MBA from IIM Ahmedabad, which again the aunty claimed to be not only best in India but also the best amongst all colleges offering the MBA course whether it be in India or abroad.numero uno

The lady, was in true senses, a replica of the numero uno. I am sure she must have derived great pleasure from boasting about her children and husband. I am sure, that must have been the aim of her life. But yesterday, when I met her again, after a long time, she looked very old and dull. As if the exuberence and confidence, that she once used to reflect, was taken away from her and she looked a pale reflection of her true self, the self which I had associated with her.

She could barely walk without the support of her stick which she held in her right hand. At first, she had difficulty in recognizing who I was. It was only after she was sure about the sanctity of the person walking alongside her that she began talking to me in a frank tone.

“How have you been, Kush? I met your mother a couple of days back.”—Aunty started the conversation.

“Aunty, I am doing fine. How is everything with bhaiya and didi? How is uncle doing? Haven’t met him since ages.”—I joined in.

“You know, Kush! Uncle and I have gone old now. We just want to see our kids doing well. It just reminded me that my son have just switched jobs in US. I don’t remember the name of the company. I am sure you might be knowing it. It is the best private sector company in the entire World.”—-As she spoke, I could see it in her eyes, the confidence and joy of being No. 1 was back.

“Of course aunty! Both bhaiya and didi have always been there, right at the top.” I smiled back as I took her leave to head back home.

As I was heading back, there was this big smile on my face and I wondered:”Some things do not and should never change.” 🙂

Source for Image: http://webfronter.com/greenwich/DiscoverySchool/menu0/School_Information/Discovery_Parents_Group/Discovery_Parents_Group.html, http://wallpaperswide.com/numero_uno-wallpapers.html

Strategic Middle Path!

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Yesterday, in the evening, I had this wonderful opportunity of visiting my paternal aunt’s place (bua) after a long time. Though, I happen to live in the same city as she, yet I would like to admit that I had been acting a little lazy of late and had not been able to find the time and motivation to visit her place in recent times. Though, some of this laziness can be attributed to the kind of work that I do and the kind of revoluntionary age that we all happen to be living in, which truly can be referred to as the age of internet.

On one hand where the internet tends to make our lives comfortable and easy, on the other hand, it tends to create a divide amongst the friends and relatives who all seemed to be caught up in this web that is woven by the technology around ourselves and we end up leading our lives in a virtual world.

Have you ever wondered whether living in this virtual world has made us all lose touch not only with our near and dear ones but also the nature and the environment and in a way has deprived us all of the pleasure and happiness that togertherness seems to shower upon us?

Yes, in a way, the internet has been instrumental in solving numerous problems and issues that might have haunted us in the years to come and it has indeed proven to be a boon on numerous occassions and situations where otherwise we might have found ourselves wanting.

But the manner in which, we have ended up using the services of this ubiquitous facility has to be called into question and needs to be reconsidered and deliberated upon. It is always a good idea to extract all the good things and to discard away all the bad ingredients. True to its core, we haven’t managed to do just the above and have ended up losing upon the fun and excitement that human contact tends to bring along with itself.celebration

Breaking away from this mode in which I had been caught since a couple of months, I decided to break away all the shackles and tried catching up with all the family members who could possibly turn up on this occassion where we all gathered to celebrate the birthday of one of my bhanjas.

It was a truly memorable experience having had long conversations with my cousins on topics ranging from anything to everything. To put a cherry on the cake was the delicious food and the desserts that were served immediately after the cake cutting ceremony.

As I bid goodnight to all the relatives present there and sat in my car to drive back home, I realized how much I might have missed in the past couple of months just because I happened to make myself hooked on to the virtual pleasures of life ignoring the reality altogether.

It is amazing how a balanced lifestyle can end up increasing the happiness quotient and in turn the well being of an individual. It plays a very significant role when it comes to getting rid of and overcoming our tensions in life. It acts as the best antidote to the increasingly materialistic rat race that we all seemed to have got so used to running and the associated stress that comes as a part and parcel of the failures and success that we end up facing having become a part of all the hooplah surrounding this race.

At the end of the day, the onus of finding peace of mind lies on the individual. Some amongst you might want to derive it by earning lot of money. Some might want to abandon all this and instead choose to live a life of seclusion. As suggested by Lord Buddha, and as propagated by numerous philosophers, the Middle Path seems to provide us with the best way, which if tread, tends to give us the most amount of happiness and satisfaction in life.

But what the hell is this middle path? And how can one go about treading the same? Does it mean that we should give away all our ambitions and instead lead a life which is dull to the core?

Well, these are some natural queries that tends to haunt our mind in order to achieve this eternal happiness that we all tend to crave for at some point or other in our lives. As far as I am concerned, I have been able to come out with this definition of Middle Path which might not find resonance with the original proponents of the theory but seems to do me good:

“We all are social beings. All our motives, apart from the basic needs, are culturally and socially determined, which makes me think that if we are able to take care of our social needs, we will end up living a satisfied life.

In every society, there are norms, values and definitions of what is successful and what is not. We are culturally and socially conditioned to follow and accept most of these defintions. Breaking away from these is indeed an onerous task. So, instead of correcting or modifying such defintions, it is not such a bad idea to accept some of these which tend to fit in our own concept of life and to ignore those which don’t tend to go along well with this concept that we have developed over a period of time.

What we are left with is a set of customized concepts of what we might want to achieve in life. Having found the concepts, the next step is to develop a strategy for achieving the same and to implement it thereafter.

Even after knowing the strategy and the goal, one might not always emerge successful. By this I mean one might not always end up achieving what one might have thought of achieving after successful implementation of a strategy.

First of all, you must think that the success lies not in achieving the fruit but in implementing the strategy to the best of one’s ability. Of course, there will be sense of disappointment, but it will never be able to have an impact on your confidence.

What this will ensure is that it will give you the courage to re-evaluate your strategy and will help you in putting your best foot forward for a second time with increased determination and motivation.

Amongst all this, by maintaining a balance between your professional and social life, you will be able to find that synergy needed for rejuvenating one’s mind and persona and the support that no matter how much one denies, everyone seems to need it at some point of time in their lives.MP

So, if I have to conclude all the above in a single line, I would say: Middle Path is all about going after your customized goals keeping at all times a customized definition of success in your mind, at the same time maintaining that all important balance between personal/social and professional life.“

Source for Image: http://theunboundedspirit.com/following-the-middle-path-in-depression/, http://louisejames157.blogspot.in/2012/04/birthday-celebration-scavenger-hunt.html