Doc! Is it time?

An extremely moving conversation that I had with one of the most renowned doctors in the country and a part of which I would definitely want to share with all (for I believe it’s one of the most important food for thoughts you might want to delve deep into) about what happens when a patient is courageous enough to ask whether it’s time.

You see, the word doctor in itself is derived from something which means ‘to teach’. Often people think, it’s very convenient for a doctor to witness someone dying in front of their eyes.”

Trust me, it’s the most difficult and the most moving of things, no matter how habitual we become of the same, feeling utterly disgusted with the lack of capabilities we docs seem to possess coupled with the plethora of agony and emotions that we get to witness on a daily basis

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And when a patient is courageous enough to ask, whether it’s time, it leaves us no scope and puts us under a situation which is dreaded by every doc worldwide, no matter how logical and practical it might sound to be.”

On the basis of the little knowledge that we docs seem to have, we do have a probable guess about the chances, yet who are we to deny that miracles don’t happen.”

On one hand, by letting the patient and the family know about the probables, gives them time to spend the same in the most meaningful of manners in which they can; on the other hand, what if we are wrong about the probables, what if miracle was supposed to happen but didn’t, what if the patient wanted to undergo the treatment, yet we deprived him/her of the same, and many such questions tend to haunt us day-in-day-out

At the end of the day, it comes down to a very basic question, what are docs there for?Are they there for relieving one of their suffering, do they exist because one day, they might be able to become capable of creating miracles? Or there existence in turn enables them ‘to teach’ one how to die in the most joyful manner and to facilitate the same.”

After all, the only certainty in our lives is death itself. For patients, ‘letting go’ might be the toughest of tasks they have ever done, but for doctors, may be they were meant to become a friend, philosopher and guide in the last stages of the bliss, very fondly referred to as life, bestowed upon every individual by the creator himself/herself.”

Source for the Image: https://pixabay.com/en/photos/doctor/

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The Dreaded Review!

It’s again the same time of the year when the ever so dreaded at the same time looked forward to term, review, will take place or has already taken place for the majority who work in order to make a living.

More often than not, many would think that the boss has not been fair in evaluating all aspects of the work that you might have done in the year gone by.

Many might perceive that due credit has not been given to for what you accomplished and somewhere the credit has been bagged by a colleague whom you believe might have performed at a level which might be far less than what you perceive to have performed at.

Have you ever wondered, what this review consist of? No matter how much you want to rationalize and make the entire process logical and fair, that’s what the HR department all over the world aim at and claim to be doing, the thing that matters the most is how well you are able to cope up with relationships in your ecosystem.

Be it your home or in office, what matters the most is your ability to get along well with people with different opinions and mindset and to be able to build a genuine healthy relationship with all.

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And that in no way is suggesting that one should fool around and be political about the entire aspect, but have a fairly high level of compassion and integrity when it comes to be able to slip into others’ shoes and see the world from their perspective.

Harder done than said, one who is able to accomplish this feat, never seems to have a bad review, be it the wife at home, or be it the boss in the office, be it the parents waiting to get a call from their loved ones or be it the sons and daughters waiting for their mom or dad to come back and spend quality time with them.

I would admit that there have been people who have crossed my path on several occasions who have been an inspiration in the true sense of the word. They have taught me how to handle situations or more importantly how to perceive the situation in the first instance.

Such men/women are exemplary in everything they do. They tend to have a positive bent of mind and look at things very differently from the rest of us. These people take success and failure (which comes very seldom) in the same stride.

These are the men/women, who wouldn’t want to focus on the past, having drawn their learning, and would instead focus on the present. They would be more interested in what didn’t work rather than why it didn’t work.

Such are the people that one should try to associate with, learn from them, get inspired and even emulate the aspects which make them so wonderful and different. After all, it’s better to have people with a positive attitude surrounding you compared to people who are always whining or complaining about one thing or the other.

Friends, reviews will come and go, sometimes they will be good at times bad, but what will matter the most is your ability to motivate yourself to become a better individual each minute, each hour and each day of your lives.

Source for Image: http://mobile-spyreviews.com/mobistealth_reviews/

2 States in my family!

Chetan Bhagat is one guy who has inspired not only me but so many budding writers who wanted to write but could never take that courage to delve into the same, courtesy the kind of remuneration that the industry offers and courtesy the kind of success rate associated with the same.

His inspiration has not been limited to his breed and has instead gone much beyond the same, courtesy the kind of books he has written which has made a significant impact on the lives of so many, not only in India but also across the seven seas.2 states

And one such person happens to be my very own sister-in-law (saali) who would soon get married to a Tamil guy, hailing from the same college as hers. Courtesy, 2 States, the world has become much more open to accepting the concept of getting married in a different caste, religion or region.

On my part, I am extremely excited that I would get a chance to witness the much awaited 2 States like wedding taking place in my in-laws house in a few days time. The concept of two families hailing from two totally different backgrounds and having totally different perceptions would be seen coming together to have a consensus on a common issue.

The excitement seems to have caught everyone in the family, with my brother-in-law even contemplating getting dressed in a lungi, similar to the likes of the bridegroom and my sister-in-laws all set to adorn kerala style sarees. 

How wonderful it would be if the two parties to the contract decide to get dressed in a manner suited to the likes of the other party, with the Tamil family dressing in a North Indian style and the north Indian family dressing in a Tamil attire!

If this is not the real manifestation of unity in diversity, then I wonder what is! Wouldn’t it be amazing if the entire world could take a cue from such examples of unison and get motivated to drive away the enmity and conflicts evolving from regionalism?

Wouldn’t it be nice to see the next generation getting a chance to experience both cultures at home and imbibing values that are extremely essential when it comes to the unity and integrity of our country?

Being an ardent Shahrukh Khan fan that I am, I would want to see much more of such marriages taking place in our country.Arranged-marriage-image

May be what the government in our country and an amendment in the Special Marriage Act has not been able to accomplish so far, can be achieved by a concept which has become part and parcel of every person who happen to be living in this territory which we all refer to as India. 

Source for Image: http://entertainment.oneindia.in/bollywood/movies/2-states/wallpapers.html

How I met my Saalis!

When you are married, and when you happen to be the lucky one (as they say) to have the number of saalis (sister-in-laws) that I have, and on top of that when your wife happens to be a part of a well-knit family and happens to share an amazingly good relationship with each one of them, then you surely got to be on your toes ;).

If you are wondering that I have been hit by the wedding bug, then you are not that wrong, and what can be considered as a rational and natural progression from my last post, it is but natural for me to talk about who other than my saalis. 

This reminds me of the tv show by the name of How I met your mother! and would take the liberty of transforming it just a little bit to title my current post as How I met my Saalis!

It is said in our Indian tradition that the in-laws house for a groom would look all deserted and incomplete if there were no saalis to make the same house look so happening and filled with enthusiasm.

Just imagine, you enter your in-laws house and you find your father-in-law lying on his couch and watching the same old tv soaps with your mother-in-law making all efforts in this world to make you feel comfortable. How dull and boring would it get after a certain point of time and you would feel like running away from the same, not because you don’t respect your in-laws but just because after a while, it gets boring.

To their credit, saalis are the ones who tend to get rid of the boredom and keep the entire house vibrant. Many a times, they tend to belong to the same age group. What can be better than this as you tend to share the same kind of thinking and perceptions about various things in life.

And when they happen to be as talkative as mine are, then you don’t even have to go that extra mile to start any sort of conversation. Before you realize, you already tend to become a part of a conversation, about which you might not have any clue what so ever, yet you find yourself totally engulfed in the chit-chat that ensues thereafter, and surprisingly you enjoy it to the core.

Now coming back to how I happened to meet each one of them, if I remember correctly, the first time I had the fortune of meeting them all was on the day of my engagement. But there was one among them, whom I had met earlier, courtesy one of my visits to Delhi, who happened to introduce each of them to me.'My wife said it was up to me - I could come to her sister's wedding, or go to Vegas with you and the guys. Guess what I chose?'

Little shy, that they looked in first instance, my perception was turned 180 degree round, as I began to interact with them on a more regular basis. 🙂 I will admit that it feels absolutely wonderful when you are being imparted such importance and you feel like the most important person on this planet earth, that might be one of the primary reasons why guys love to visit their in-laws place (taking a clue from one of my chachas (uncles) who in my opinion is really fond of visiting his in-laws place).

It is said that though from times immemorial, it is the sons who have been given more importance, in reality it is the daughters who tend to be more caring, more loving and certainly more supportive of their parents than the sons (which can surely be seen in today’s materialistic and selfish world wherein the sons tend to forget their responsibility of taking care of their parents in their old age, when they need them the most).

It is absolutely wonderful to see all my saalis be so much more responsible and so much more understanding and caring for their parents, than any other typical 21st century guy would. And the credit for such upbringing certainly goes, first to their grandparents and secondly to their parents, who have toiled day-in-day-out just to make sure, that they all get the best from this world and they all are made to grow into responsible and caring individuals, that they certainly are, today.

And when you happen to have so many of them, then you are often asked this question of who’s your favorite? Somehow, you don’t want to be caught up in this dilemma or trilemma etc. depending on the number of saalis that you have, for you don’t want to end up being Arjun from Mahabharata, and you certainly don’t want to go through the same dharam-sankat as he once had to ;).

For my part, I would always want the best for each one of them and would like to wish them all the very best in all the endeavors that they undertake during the course of their lives, and would advise them to keep rocking as they always do ;).

Source for Image:  http://www.jantoo.com/cartoons/keywords/sister-in-law

Kabul Hai!

It is not often when you find yourself in a situation where one of your best friends from school era is about to get hooked to someone via the concept of the all so famous arranged marriage in India.

And it is not often that you find yourself accompanying him to the place where the girl’s side is about to meet the guy’s side and is trying to get this meeting to a fruitful conclusion. Somehow, you are also expected to play a big role in the same by analyzing the entire dynamics of the meeting and figure out whether the girl will turn out to be suitable for the guy and vice-versa.

I have just had this experience of accompanying one of my best friends to his house where the meeting was scheduled to take place. More than I, who was feeling really awkward doing this stuff, my friend was feeling even more awkward considering that he hates this whole concept of families getting to know each other along with the guy and the girl.

More than discussing their own things, the families are more so concerned about what the guy and the girl might be talking to each other, of course their sole intention being that the guy should like the girl and similarly the girl should like the guy.

The conversation that ensues between the guy and the girl ranges from what they are doing at present to what they normally like doing, hobbies etc etc. It sounds like a chat on Yahoo Messenger or gtalk where one tries to know the other person or in short need a way to start the conversation.24359_345198221385_163967111385_4131380_3284188_n

I wonder whether one is really interested in knowing as to what the other person might be interested in, apart from just finding a way to start that conversation and hoping that the girl would follow suit.

The tactics and the strategy seems to work on every occasion and in turn leads to that all important conversation which will be the decisive factor with regards to whether the guy and the girl would get married.

On one hand where the guy and the girl seem to be shyly involved in their own discussions, on the other hand, the families sit there keeping their fingers crossed hoping that they will get to hear an affirmative from the two after they have finished talking.

I guess what I have mentioned above used to be an old era scenario where the guy wouldn’t be allowed to meet the girl more than once and he had to take the most important call of his life in just one meeting.

Things have certainly changed over time. Now, the guy and the girl at least in not so conservative families are allowed to meet more than once in order to decide whether they will be able to spend their entire life together.

As far as this meeting is concerned, all went well and my friend decided to meet this girl once again in the near future hoping to find out whether the compatibility quotient was high enough for him to say Kabul hai. 😉

Source for Image: http://barbieloveislam.blogspot.in/2011/01/ishq-e-nabi-hoto-ibadat-kabul-hai.html

Stay Calm! Stay Put!

With the kind of routine that we tend to follow at times, getting up in the morning can indeed be a treat to the eyes, considering that we get to witness the authority that the sun tends to impose on us all, rising from apparently nowhere and turning the heat on, literally.

Our elders always tell us: early to bed, early to rise makes one healthy, wealthy and wise. Though, I was up and around for 2′ o clock yesterday night after a session of snookers and a party thereafter, yet with a sheer determination and a will to be able to get up and witness the natural phenomenon, I was able to make it through this morning.

The cool breeze added to the romance that I seemed to be having with the natural beauty surrounding me in my garden and in true senses of the word, it was indeed a very good morning.

Talking about mornings, each morning tends to bring along with herself a new gasp of air, a renewed and rejuvenated mindset, a determination to keep doing well in life and lot of choices to be made which if done well leads to satisfaction and happiness which, for me, seems to be the goal of the society.

And one such example of a choice that would certainly bring you loads of happiness and good health is to take a morning walk. With not much noise emanating from the vehicles to trouble one, one can have their own sweet time with the nature and can try to think upon some of the issues concerning themselves and their loved ones.

To me, it presents an excellent opportunity to get away from the normal chores of life and spend some time with myself, which in turn enables me to think in a positive manner, at the same time, helps me resolve some of the issues confronting my thought process. Even if these are not resolved, I am  at least able to figure out the course of action that needs to be taken in order to handle or deal with the same.

And this morning was dedicated to a conversation that I happened to have yesterday night with one of the most learned and coolest of doctors whom I have ever met. It is often that when we are drunk to the extent of feeling good about things then we tend to discuss things which we wont otherwise.

Without going into the details of the conversation that I had, one thing that can be called the moral of the discussion was that in order to have a successful relationship, either party needs to cool down when the other party tends to heat up.

The problem arises when both the parties tend to be on the same side of the table representing a hypothetical average between the cooler and hotter sides of the temperature gradient. And then a smallest of thing can take the shape of a Frankenstein monster threatening the very existence of a relationship.

So, all the couples out there who are prone to having discussions about little things in life, you can definitely try to learn from what the larned doctor had to say about the ingredients that should be included in this recipe of a relationship, which will go a long way in keeping your relationship intact, at the same time making it more enjoyable and fulfilling.

Source for Image: http://www.orkut-scraps.world4art.com/good-morning/good-morning-01.php, http://natashatobin.com/blog/?attachment_id=248

A Tribute to the Proponent!

The marriage season is about to begin. Those who will be getting married this season are naturally very excited about the same. For these to be couples, it is but obvious to feel on top of the moon.

This is very well cognizable. But one thing that I am unable to decipher about a very dear friend of mine, is, why he is getting the same feelings as the to be couples 😉 . I can understand that he is about to take part in each and every marriage that he has been invited to this season, but to feel and behave in the same manner is a bit incomprehensible.

In order to get to the crux of the matter, I decided to talk to the very same person who is going through the emotions. Without going into the details of the conversation, the thing that I could infer from the same was that this guy is very much in love with the concept of love and marriage thereafter.

He feels that this is the best thing that can ever happen to a guy or a girl. He believes that without marriage a person is incomplete and in order to bring life to its proper culmination, what one needs to do is to get married.

Indeed, the above is an inspiring ideology for the proponents of the very concept and indeed this guy is a strong believer and follower of the same. So, whenever someone is about to get married, this guy feels good not only for the couples but also for the concept’s fulfillment.

There is another reason apart from what I have just mentioned about this guy. This guy is at such a stage of his life where he would like to have a family and where he is ready to take up the responsibility.

This guy is eagerly waiting to tie the knot and is waiting for the right person, who, he believes would fill his life with happiness and joy. In the true sense of the word, this guy is an ideal husband material.

I am not saying this because I own a matrimonial site or I am planning to have one, but because I truly admire the qualities that this guy possesses, which makes me believe that he would keep his life partner really happy.

Sometime back, I used to be an active participant on the social networking site called Orkut and as some of you might recall, there was this concept of people writing testimonials for those who they feel writing about.

It was then that I came across one of the shortest of testimonials that I have ever read in my life and it went something like this: “may you find the right one soon”.

As a tribute to my friendand a sincere wish that he may soon find his right one, here I take the liberty of drawing the same lines from the once all so famous Orkut:

may you find the right one soon”.

All girls out there, who are looking forward to getting married to the right man of their life, please don’t hesitate to contact me, for in some ways, my fiance and I have very much adopted this guy and have decided to take up the responsibility for this gem of a person. 🙂

Source for Image: http://guidedones.com/importance-of-marriage-in-islam/

Saty Saty Yes Papa!

This can be the story of a guy living next door, a guy whom you keep meeting every now and then, a guy whom you wouldn’t notice in a crowd and a guy who gets up every morning thinking what he should do next.

There are so many such guys in India who don’t really know what they want to do in life. They aren’t sure as to what would be their next destination.

But one thing which is common amongst all such guys, thanks to the culture that we live in, is that they love their families a lot and respect each and every member of their family like no one else would.

They want to see each and every member of their family being happy. They want the best of things to happen to them. They take great pleasure and pride in seeing them getting successful in life.

Then why is it that these very guys are ridiculed at every step that they take by their very own family members? Why is it that the family members, instead of reciprocating the love, end up making the person sad and upset through their remarks? Why is it that they don’t get the same kind of respect as any other member would?

Is it because these guys have not been able to accomplish material success in life? Is it because they are not able to buy expensive gifts for their family? Is it because the very meaning of love and respect has been modified in our society to suit the powerful and the rich?

Whatever might be the reason for the above, one thing that our society must remember is that if we continue living the way we are by focusing on the materialistic pleasures in life, then the day is not so far when you wouldn’t find a breed so pure as above and a heart so loveable as above.

What we need to do thus is to preserve such breed and give it all due respect that it so deserves.

Source for Image: http://freshletes.bigcartel.com/product/rare-breed-tee-gold-black

UpBringing

When I was a kid, my father used to tell me about the importance of maintaining a balance between studies and sports/extracurricular activities. He used to stress on the fact that maintaining a balance was extremely essential for an all round development of an individual.

As a result, even though my mother’s top concern for me was to perform well in studies, she too had to bow down in front of my father’s wisdom. This in turn proved to be a boon for me as it gave me an opportunity to hone my skills in sports as well as in other co-curricular activites.

Why I have mentioned the above is because I am deeply concerned about the state of parenting which has taken a drastic turn in the present day scenario. Parents, today, are more focused on getting their kids selected in premier institutes like IITs at any cost.

In order to fulfill their pown ambitions, the kids are forced to join coaching institutes from class 6 itself. As a consequence, the kids after attending a day’s school end up going to a coaching institute thereafter.

By the time they come back, they are too tired to go for an outdoor activity. After a couple of hours rest, they are made to go through the task of finishing the rigorous home work that is given to them by both the school and the coaching institute.

The little time that is left is spent in playing videogames or watching TV, as it becomes too dark by then to let their child go out of their house.

If the above schedule was not enough, the child has to go through the stress evolving from the comparisons that are drawn between the child and his/her classmates or kids of acquaintances.

What would you call the above? If I had been through the same, I would have felt really constrained and irritated, at the same time would have felt helpless for not being able to find a way out of the whole pressure cooker scenario.

That is how the child of today’s generation feels like. The question that I would like to address to the parents is:

Do they think that by providing an environment such as the above, they are fulfilling their responsibility of being a good parent?”

Source for Image:http://www.goldenlaurel.com/kthCards.aspx

Result Season

Come the summers, and we all are flooded with news containing the results of the plethora of competitive examinations taking place in our country coupled with the Board exam results.

On one hand, there are some fortunate students who emerge out with flying colours in these examinations, on the other hand there are students who are left wanting and face the wrath of our exam-oriented society with terminologies such as “bekaar hai”, “kisi kaam ka nahi hai” etc.

Recently I happened to talk to one such student who had failed miserably in all the exams that she had given ranging from the 12th Boards to the competitve engineering examinations.

Her family is upset that even after paying for the best of coaching institutes for her, she had failed them miserably. Constant comparisons with her friends who have been able to make it through, is driving her crazy to the extent that she had even contemplated running away from her home to avoid all the criticism that had followed since the results were out.

With the kind of the competition that every child has to go through in this country, parents must realize that there are bound to be children who will not make it to the top notch. They must therefore, instead of blaming their child, should provide a mental and emotional support to their child irrespective of the results.

Their love for their child shouldn’t be contingent, in any way, on the success or failure of their child in such examinations or on the kind of feedback they get for their child from the society and the near and dear ones around them.

It is extremely important that the parents should stop imposing their dream on their child and should stop treating their child as a trophy which they can show to the whole World.

Source for Image: http://www.testime.in/2012/02/28/cdsi-2011-final-result/