Par-Dharma!

Where is this all heading?

Well being or a disaster?

Many psychological scientific studies tell us that kids learn what they observe.

No matter how much one preaches, they learn by observing what’s happening around them.

The question is are they being exposed to the right kind of environment that they should be?

Considering,

The tv shows, and movies depicting all kinds of violence,

The fights that happen in the family,

The never ending effort of trying to fulfill the pleasures of life becoming a benchmark from such a young age,

As a parent, does that mean keeping one’s kids in a protective environment,

Making them go to schools, which demonstrate the right set of values,

Yes and no!

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For they would surely be exposed to the practicalities of this society, the existing situations,

Which they would need to face and make a choice for themselves,

Does it mean giving them the right tools to be able to make that all important choice?

That’s where charitra nirmaan (building one’s character) becomes the key to their well being and in turn that of the society.

One may ask how can this be done?

Well, to each their own, few may say,

The fundamentals of it though, for parents remain the same,

Be it treating your kids as adults and spending with them as much time that one can, discussing the intricacies of why the kids consider something as right or wrong,

Be it leading by example, and becoming role models for your kids to emulate,

Be it inculcating a critical feeling of inclusiveness in them, for their well being lies in the well being of others and the society,

No matter whether your parents did it with you!

No matter whether you had to learn it the hard way!

No matter there was no friend, philosopher or guide holding your hands at every step!

May be the time has come for all parents/elders to do all that what their dharma of being in the capacity tells them to.

Source for the Image: https://www.vectorstock.com/royalty-free-vector/kids-learning-vector-7708997

TG-OIL!

Can’t believe it’s already been nearly 5 months since the lock down was imposed!

Has been great for few, in terms of:

retaining their jobs to begin with, 

spending quality time with family, 

working out on one’s health, 

giving importance to the much neglected hobbies and things one wished one had invested time in, 

At the same time not so good for some,

who have lost their jobs, 

who are having hard time living with their spouses, 

who think their idea of fun has been taken away from them,

Yet, if one is reading this, one needs to thank God that one is alive (TG-OIL),

to witness another beautiful sunrise, 

to be able to spending that one more moment with one’s loved ones, 

to hope that things would certainly improve in the near future, 

to be able to write one more blog 😉

Well, they say, all’s well that ends well,

A little change that I would want to bring in the above perspective is,

All’s well if one treads the path well! 

If one gets to live another day as if it was their last,

If one is able to bring that wonderful smile on one more person’s face,

If one aspires to light up this world with one’s acts of kindness and humble behavior,

For if one chooses not to or is unable to do the above, there is nothing to thank God in the first place, if not for the one, then surely for the others.

Source for the Image: https://torontodiamonddental.com/how-important-is-your-smile/

This and That!

He asked, what is it that you want?

I answered, this and that!

Then he asked, why is it that you want this and that?

I answered, just wanna feel good and happy about myself!

He couldn’t help asking, with the things that I gave, are you happy?

I answered, not really, but I guess, this one would certainly make me feel happy!

He smiled and didn’t say a word after.

I wondered!

And so is the wonder that we keep wondering,

We keep aspiring,

We keep making aims,

We keep having ambitions,

And

We continue to perspire for this and that!

hand-towards-rising-sun

Then comes a reality check, when we all take a pause to ponder,

Over the things we all have so called achieved in life,

Over the assets that we all have accumulated over a period of time,

Over the relations that we all have forged during our lifetimes,

Yet

We don’t get that thing that we all look for,

What is it that we all look for?

And then we all come across a thought which resonates with something like this:

ख्वाइशों का आलम ऐसा था जनाब,
कि हम खुद को ही भुला बैठे!

What ensues is a trail of:

Not finding answers,

Not finding a purpose,

Not being able to come to terms with one’s current state of affairs and mind,

And

Getting lost in the ख्वाइश of this चमक and that धमक of this material world.

Without realizing what this and that did and continues to do with all of us.

Source for the image: https://www.calmdownmind.com/when-your-desire-feels-ordinary-its-on-the-verge-of-manifestation/

After All!

Considering the kind of busy lives we have got habituated into spending,

Not often does one get a chance to move out in the wilderness,

And once one does, the kind of activities we get to do, any guesses?

Trekking,

Rafting,

Mountaineering,

Wildlife Safari,

Para-sailing etc etc

Have you ever wondered, how many times have you ended up doing nothing?

Just being there,

Relaxing,

Seizing the moment,

Whatever comes to your mind in that moment, you do,

Letting go of any thought that comes to your mind,

Freeing yourself from all worries that tend to haunt you on a daily basis,

Bereft of what the boss tells you,

Not caring about how many questions your parents would keep asking you,

Without giving a consideration to your spouses’ expectations at home,

And then if you get into knowing such a beautiful description of what life means to a few over a bonfire, you might as well write about it 🙂

life

To me, if i were to tell you, 

Life is nothing more than getting up in the morning, 

Asking myself a question, in what mood would i want to be today, 

And say, well…not many reasons to get upset about, 

So many wonderful things happening to me, 

as well choose to smile rather than frown, 

not a bad beginning, eh!

regular chores happen, 

my boyfriend calls right after i come out of the shower and take my first bite, 

well, can get too much at times, but how many would actually do so, 

by the time am about to finish getting ready and he getting into a cab for office, 

we get on a call again, saying good morning again,

the cab guy, i have stopped quarrel with, 

after all everyone is frustrated because of something or the other, 

so why argue!

having a flirtatious conversation with my boyfriend just brightens up my day, 

then comes office, 

bosses will always be bosses, they are also learning

so why not give them a benefit of doubt?

sorted, haan!

lunch is always of my choice, not too heavy yet good and light, 

meantime, he keeps texting, sending sweet messages, i feel loved, 

comes the evening and he is right there waiting to pick me up, 

after we go for a long drive, 

do random chats, 

sit in a coffee shop, 

or 

just be there in the moment, 

sometimes we kiss as well, make love, good for hormones you see, 

he drops me back, in the comfort of my house, 

late evening is mine, 

where i would read some book, watch some movie, 

Ya, spend time with parents, after all they brought me into this world,

night..back to hormones, be it a movie, books or him again,

on second thoughts, he really loves me 😉

one might wonder, what’s the future plans?

well, who knows there is a future, what if there is none, 

and i went in my sleep!

at least it would be worth it, 

see, it’s not also about the bf, 

even if he wasn’t there to share my time, i would seize the moment, 

What is after all life but a collection of beautiful moments!

Source for the Image: https://unsplash.com/images/people/life

L-After

The conversation started by remembering the famous dialogue from the movie, Om Shanti Om: “yanna rascala mind it

When the experienced and the knowledgeable started contemplating the very fundamentals of:

what’s to be mind

or

what’s not to be.

What’s to be given the heed required,

What’s to be taken seriously,

What’s to be considered important,

What’s relevant,

Though it all came down to,

nothing in life is serious enough to be taken seriously

And then he went on to narrate what I feel like taking the liberty of calling it the essence of life.

you know, am 70 now, 7 decades you see, 

lot of people look at my wealth, comforts that I have,

Call me successful, and what not, 

but if you were to ask me whether all these compliments matter,

Not really! 

When I close my eyes to sit down for my me time, 

the only thing that comes to me is (and then he pauses for a moment)

the moments that I was fortunate enough to spend with beautiful people in my lifetime, 

I can still feel that touch, the spurt in energy, the emotions that flowed with it, 

its only these scenes that i vividly remember,

though they say that am loosing my memory (pauses for a while, smiles),

yet no one can take it away from me, 

the time that I have lived has passed in a flash, 

little time, though we think we have plenty, 

every day when I get up, 

the first thing that I experience today is mortality, 

I am alive for one more day to choose to experience so much more, 

Wish I had the same perspective when I was your age or even before, 

Having said that, it’s never too late to start (pauses and smiles again as if he just remembered some familiar face)

life

Goes into some deep silence,

A nurse walks in, “you shouldn’t disturb him any more“.

And then he speaks for the final time, before I left

what is life after all if not gotten disturbed,

what is life after all without involvement, 

what is life after all without compassion, 

what is life after all without desires, 

what is life after all without beautiful moments, 

what is life after all!

Smiles and shuts his eyes.

Source for the Image: https://unsplash.com/images/people/life

Clear Logbook_Bit by Bit!

Quite interesting, if you look at how kids are brought up. As a being feeling extremely excited to see themselves happening on this planet, I assume, a kid wouldn’t have any words to express the kind of ecstasy he or she might be going through.

As they become more aware of their habitat and become so called more intellect and educated, they have an entire logbook created for themselves by themselves, with contributions coming from different stakeholders in his/her life, be it parents, teachers, friends, relatives etc etc. , primarily aimed at making them all economically or financially successful, wonder whether this could come anywhere close to the definition of success, for success leads to misery on most occasions in our society these days.

What results is a logbook of do’s and don’ts, of what is possible and what’s impossible, achievable or cannot be achieved, the idea about what’s right or wrong, the conceptualization of morality and ethics, putting one inside a cage of sorts with a plethora of restrictions and boundation hanging right over one’s head.

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With no means at hand to escape from the obvious stress and displeasure, one seeks a help, be it medical, social etc., not getting which one might get prone to taking the disastrous step of ending one’s own physical self.

What becomes most important in such situations is a tool which can help them clear the logbook that they have created over a period of time, which has actually handicapped them of their abilities to live life to its full potential.

What might also become a thing of priority is to find that all important person, who can enable this clearance of the logbook. Even if not, one can explore doing the same through a customized approach, fitting in best with one’s natural self, as to who best other than oneself can understand one.

Admitting that it cannot be done by a single stroke of luck, one needs to work upon it in a conscious manner over a period of time, removing and clearing the annoying bits over a period of sustained strive and determination.

The only question is whether you want to give it a shot, which could be your last chance, by the way 😉 , to give yourself another opportunity to live life to the fullest?

Source of the Image: https://logbook.readthedocs.io/en/stable/

Being Thankless!

Today, I got up early than what my usual time is ;). Had a mixed feeling, on one hand happy to see the sun rising, on the other, feeling a bit tired having not fulfilled the quota of my life that I allocate to sleep each day.

Did my usual chores, took my usual ride to the office and started working. Soon after, a dear friend shared a talk (https://www.ted.com/talks/jen_brea_what_happens_when_you_have_a_disease_doctors_can_t_diagnose#t-88366).

And it somehow shook me a bit.

How much for granted do we take all our usuals in life? After all, it’s just a matter of breath coming in and going out and if it doesn’t come back, you know you are not reading this anymore.

And what if the breath comes back with a bane of sorts, which takes away the so called life from you?

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Somehow, instead of considering the chores that we are able to perform, as blessings in disguise, we have got into a habit of taking things that come to us easy, so casually.

Somehow, we have got accustomed to getting hurt by the so called bigger things in life, be it work, money etc etc, instead of appreciating the fact that we are still alive and living the life we have chosen to live.

Somehow, the very essence of developing an understanding about what your mind and body have on offer, we have diverted all our energies to fit in with the societal definition of success and failure.

Somehow, I just wonder, with the thankless manner, in which we are chosing to live our lives, in turn raises a cause of concern, challenging the very idea,

Are we all living?

Source for the Image: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohxlb4j5jno

Smile while You Are!

Recently had the pleasure of speaking with one of the most successful of guys, my senior (S), who has gone on to make, as they say, a killing of sorts. Here is what came out of the conversation:

S: “You know, I have had the chance to experience lot of offices through out my life, and one thing was prevalent in all”

Me: “What was it?”

S: “The gloomy faces of people sitting in front of their desks, few seem to be having the worst time of their life, and few trying to show that there was lot of work and hoping that 10-12 hours that they are supposed to spend will pass by somehow.”

Me: “What do you think, was the reason behind the same?”

S: “I used to wonder the same. Somehow, I thought, it might be that most don’t like their work, and do it for their survival, some, I thought, might not like the team or their bosses they were working with.”

Me: “And?”

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S: “But you know what, slowly, I realized that people have got into a mode of remaining gloomy. Somehow, they have been conditioned to be sad and grim-faced. They have lost the charm of what life was supposed to offer to each one of them.”

Me: “So, how did you ensure, that such a thing didn’t happen in your office?”

S: “You know, the first and probably the only thing, I looked for in the guys whom I was hiring, was their attitude and perspective towards life. How they looked at their past? What they thought about their future? And the most important of all, what do they think about their present?”

Me: “That’s it?”

S: “Yup. For if they were too depressed about their past, or too hopeful about their future, having loads of expectations, without focusing on the present, then they were bound to create an environment and build a culture, laden with fear and insecurity. And you would be bemused to know that along with their offer letter, I gave them a piece of advice on the letter head of our company.”

Me: “?”

SMILE WHILE YOU ARE 🙂

An absolute cracker of an advice, applies to all kinds of life that we tend to associate and identify ourselves with, be it our professional or personal, isn’t it? 😉

Source for the Image: https://www.shutterstock.com/search/smile

Success = Suffering!

If you are wondering how absurd the blog title of equating success to or leading to suffering is, by the time you end up reading this peace, either way you might have different views altogether ;).

Somehow, success in our era, tends to bring along with itself, lot of suffering in the form of hypertension, lifestyle diseases such as diabetes etc.

If you happen to be living in the financial capital of our country, and have had the chance to go for an early morning walk to the extremely picturesque Marine Drive, where supposedly all the successful turn up every morning to get their body in good shape, would suggest you do a simple experiment.

Just look at the people who pass by, and notice the expression of success reflecting suffering and try rendering the comfort of a smile on to each one of them.

More often than not, you would see a perplexed face with a thought why the hell someone is smiling at them, or the best on offer would be a forced grin.

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Since childhood, I was taught that success brings happiness, am sure, many were taught similar things by their parents, schools and the who’s who of society.

Just wonder why that success or being affluent is not leading to the happiness that it was supposed to embrace.

Is it because the manner in which that success is being obtained? Is it the process that takes a toll on one’s psyche?

Or

Is it because we need to rethink about how, as a society, we are defining the very essence of success?

For if all was OK, one should be happy enough getting the fruits of desire. Something, for sure, must be wrong in which, we mortals, are perceiving success and chasing the same to the best of our abilities, achieving it, yet feeling the unpleasantness having obtained the same.

Food for thought ?  😉

Source for the Image: https://www.ageofthecustomer.com/index.php/do-you-prefer-achievement-or-success/

Resolutions!

Time for yet another new year and time to hop on the resolution wagon? 😉

Well, am not too big a fan of resolutions, reason being more often than not, we tend to not fulfill the same, also because, may be I am too scared to put restrictions on the very essence of life.

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May be I wasn’t born to live by imposed expectations, may be I wasn’t born to see myself being constrained by the burden of what is right and what is wrong.

May be, I wasn’t born to listen to the not so who’s who of my life, may be I wouldn’t be living at all if I were to live like that.

May be, I was meant to experience the immediate beauty, the nature of things, that was supposed to be, may be I was meant to let myself go and feel the thrust.

May be, I was granted the so called permission to go beyond anyone’s expectations and live a boundless life of sorts.

May be, I was meant to do nothing, but enjoy every moment that I happen to be spending on this planet Earth, and for which I should be feeling happy for.

May be, the very fact that I am alive is a celebration in itself, for once gone, there won’t be any concept left to be explored and experienced.

But for those who are a big fan of resolutions, my resolution is to try and experience each moment of my life, without delving too much into the past and future, to live what we all refer to as life.

I wonder what’s yours! 😉

Source for the Image: https://thewritelife.com/new-years-resolutions-for-writers/