“I Listen”!

In a colloquial conversation, in a public gathering, a teacher was once asked, “what do you do for a living?” 

He answered, “I listen!

Funny to the core as it might sound, it had a very deep trans formative meaning to the same.

Most of the teachers by any set of imagination, would go on talking on how well they teach, how well they are able to bring out the curiosity in the kid, how well they are able to communicate their learning, and so on.

But here, this gentleman was standing amidst the who’s who of education sector, answering the very fundamental of what you need to do in order to make sure that every kid on this planet gets an opportunity to learn, as per his/her needs, convenience and adaptability.

For if one doesn’t listen to what the kid has to say, how would one know, what he/she wants, what are the kind of challenges the kid might be going through in his/her life be it getting bullied by a set of rogues or failing to understand that one concept in science on which he was made to believe that his entire future would depend on.

This fantastic habit, which we all refer to as listening, goes well beyond what I have spoken above and is a mool mantra of sorts when it comes to our day-to-day life.

Be it professional, or personal, though everything is personal (another thought for another time ;)), yet for clarity and for discussion purposes, lets keep it separate.

Professionally, an organization is one big family, where in the father/mother or the so called CEO tries to make sure that each kid performs to the best of his/her ability, reaping proportionate awards for the same, at the same time, making this family a prosperous unit.

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Personally, father and mother, try to do everything possible for their kids, trying to make sure that every need is met with a suitable material/emotional support for the child to grow and become a productive and healthy individual.

But if the above forget to listen to what their kid has to offer in terms of advice, in terms of feedback, in terms of sharing his/her concern, in terms of discussing his/her problems, then no matter how good the HR policy is

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The home conduct rules and values are, the kid will end up suffering, because of the chaotic environment around him/her which doesn’t seem to offer that much needed ear, leading to multitude of problems, both physical and psychological, that our society needs to be caught in big time, at this very moment in our lives.

So, if you want to become a good father, a good mother, a good CEO, a good leader or whatever category of good, you need to imbibe this art of listening.

I wonder, how many are indeed listening ;)!

Source for the Image: http://www.clipartpanda.com/categories/free-clip-art-children-listening

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Taken for a Ride?

The moment we all hear the phrase, “taken for a ride”, a negative image of some incident, more often than not, comes to our mind, where we find ourselves living the same and developing negative emotions because of who so ever or what so ever caused us to be taken for a ride.

We tend to think, how stupid in time we were, how bad the world was, or for that matter, how could one not see something coming, trying to calm ourselves at the same time, that is was an anomaly in the entire scheme of things that we happen to go through each day of our lives and that we are too intellectual to have been taken for a ride.

We go on to convince ourselves of the goodness in ourselves, which enabled us to bring out qualities like trust, faith etc etc and which made us believe what was on offer. Having said the above, taken for a ride, doesn’t necessarily mean bad things.

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After all, when we were kids, our parents also took us for a ride ;), by making us eat all the nutritious food that we were supposed to consume at that point of time in our lives.

Our teachers, by hook or crook, made us learn the valuable lessons, which made us a better individual (supposedly ;)).

Our siblings, who taught us the very essence of togetherness and love, our friends who made us understand, what the dynamics of a society was.

As we grow old, we somehow tend to start having interpretations and perceptions which tend to swing towards the negative side of things.

We forget that our mind, which was supposed to see the positive side, has got conditioned into a dreaded monster of sorts, where we have developed a tendency to burn ourselves in the wrath of our perceptions and negative emotions and thoughts evolving out of the same.

What’s needed is for you to revisit your your younger self, and start enjoying the very nature that taken for a ride was supposed to bring to you.

The only thing you need to convince yourself, per say, is that after all taken for a ride was how it was supposed to be, if it were not so, you would not be, who you are meant to be :).

Source for the Image: https://www.youtube.com/user/RIDEChannel

The D in our Lives!

Without getting into taking names, because it seems to be the most irrelevant of things, even the master himself said, what’s in a name!, allow me the luxury to share with you one of the most common conversations that we have with ourselves on a daily basis.

Where D represents the Devil inside all of Us

Us—-“Don’t dare to come out, else will not be good!”

D—“Why not? I am meant to be taken out and not kept inside. Go out there and live life to the fullest”.

Us—-“Do you even realize the consequences, if I unleash you in full?”

D—-“But wasn’t I meant to do what I am supposed to do and not really sit within your subconscious?”

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Us—-“There is nothing you can find as a support for your supposed to do things.”

D—-“What if I start playing within you. Do you realize what it will lead to?”

Us—“Probably yes, but you are hidden, at least not visible to the world.”

D—-“What world are you referring to, is it your parents, who will leave you one day to re-unite with their eventuality, or the insignificant others, are you kidding me?”

Us—“Well, it’s not that simple. They will have their opinions and point of views, which they will try to impose on you.”

D—-“Do you really care or more than that, should you really care?”

Us—-“Of course, I gotta live with them, they are the ones who care for me the most.”

D—-“Don’t you think that care is leading you to the end of a cliff, where there won’t be any other option but to either take the leap or jump for good? In any case, whether you like it or not, you will have to let go at some point or I will make you let go.”

Us—“Yes, but I don’t have the courage to do so.”

D—“Is it because you have lost your self-confidence or is it because you are scared, or may be too fed-up of the kind of ideas and notions that this world keeps bombarding you with and keep reinforcing you with?”

Us—-“Possibly yes, and I don’t think I have enough strength left in me to stand up to the same.”

D—-“What if, you give it a shot! Those who do, do succeed, those who don’t live their entire lives repenting and thinking of what if?”

Us—“Hmm! Do you think it is the right thing to do?”

D—“Who cares whether it’s right or wrong? Or is there something like right or wrong? What matters for you is to figure out what’s best for you!”

And because, we end up getting convinced by what the D in our lives tells us, we begin ignoring or shutting the D in some way or the other, to start with, following it with thinking about what D had told us and eventually end up doing what the D had warned us about.

But by that time, often for most of us, it’s too late. All our youth is gone and what we are left with is an opportunity to repent about what if we had taken the advice that D gave us, at a time which we considered as right.

After all, the only question that you need to answer is what the master posed to us long back, “To Be or Not to Be!”. 

Source for the Image: http://www.firstcovers.com/user/412095/to+be+or+not+to+be.html

Being a Parent to your Child!

It seems like ages have gone by and here I am once again returning back to something that I so love doing. It is not that I didn’t have ideas to deliberate upon or think upon. Neither was it a lack of love towards what I generally call my hobby, though for some it might be a matter of bread and butter.

It might sound a cliche that for the past couple of days had just flown by without me realizing that it had been a while before I have had the opportunity to log on to my blog and look at what’s going on in the same. How often have you guys have had the same kind of experience of time just running away and you trying to catch up with the speed with which it seems to outrun you on every occasion?

It is very much like a cat and mouse game, similar to what we have seen in Tom and Jerry, where we know what’s going to be the outcome of the chase, yet we end up indulging in the same, for the want of the very activity that seems to propel us forward every time we think about the same.priority4

Somehow, I have realized that it is nearly impossible to do everything in the world that you might want to do or accomplish in life. Thinking about the to-do list that you might have prepared for yourself might give you jitters and might even end up giving you high BP and lot of stress.

I guess that’s why the entire concept of priority came into being. By putting all the content that you might have gathered in your to-do list and re-organizing it into a priority list might help you become more focus at the same time, make sure that you put all your efforts and energy into that one particular aim that you happen to find at the top of your priority list, rather than wondering about how you will be able to accomplish the rest of the things mentioned in your to-do list.

And by slowly moving towards the other items taking each one at a time, having successfully accomplished the first, not only gives you more confidence and motivation but also helps you overcome the stress associated with the thought process which always leaves that 1% chance of what if I am unable to accomplish what I had initially set for?

Isn’t it always good to be working without too much pressure on your shoulders? Which brings us to a point where parents in today’s world are expecting a lot of things from their kids. I often see kids with big bags on their shoulders going to tuition and coaching right after their school and ending up getting exhausted, just because their parents want them to outperform their best friend’s son or daughter, giving very little importance to what the kid might be interested in doing.hitting child

I know it is easier said than done and every parent wants their kid to reach the top of the ladder, but the thing that needs to be deliberated upon and argued is whether the parents are adopting the right approach when they end up forcing their child to do something which he or she might be totally averse to.

The other day, parents of a 16 year old, happened to visit, thinking that I might be able to help them with their so called self-perceived problem that their child happened to be facing.

After the initial introduction, the parents started talking about what all their child was doing wrong and the bad habits that their child had developed over time.

You see, he doesn’t listen to us. He is always into video games. I don’t know what to do with him. He has lost all his focus. He doesn’t even understand how his future is shaping up. If he continues to do so, how will he able to get through IITs.”—–Parents 

After having spoken for another 10-15 minutes, they finally took a deep breath, waiting for me to give them the magic wand that they believed would change their child’s future.

I am glad that you are concerned about your child. Very few parents, in today’s busy World are concerned about their kids. Many a times, they are found busy enjoying with their respective colleagues and friends. But Mr. X, have you ever spoken to your child about what you think would be good for him? Have you ever tried to understand what all things he might be going through in his school or coaching? 

Have you ever talked to your son about what he might want to do with his life? Mr. X, these are things that we as parents tend to forget about. Remember the days, when you yourself was a kid and how you would do things that your parents wouldn’t approve off, at times even indulging in things like smoking or drinking. Now, since you have become parents, you have stopped thinking like what it is like to be a child.

I am sure, Mr. X, that you want the best for your child, but then have you ever thought about his ambitions and his aim in life, what he might want to become or what aspirations he might have for himself. Mr. X, I have seen kids go into depression and indulge in unwanted activities like doing drugs etc, just because they are not able to convince their own parents that they are different from other children and need their own space and time to develop and grow into productive individuals in society, just because they don’t trust their parents to understand what they have to offer to them. 

More often than not, it is we parents who end up on the wrong side of the table not being able to understand and give support to our son’s or daughter’s wishes and ambitions. I am not saying that they are right in whatever they might be thinking, but then isn’t it better to discuss with them why some things are good and why some are not. That’s where, you as a parent, have to chip in with your advice and opinions that you have gathered over a huge span of time and the kind of experience that you have gained over your lifetime. After all your hair have not grown grey just like that :). 

Mr. X, isn’t it better to develop that faith and trust in your child towards you that no matter what happens to him, you will always be there to provide him with that unconditional support that he so deserves for being your child. Think of the times, when you craved for a son, and when he is there with you, you are not appreciating to the fullest the fact that you have been bestowed with a gift that you had so craved for. 

Mr. X, be gentle with him. Discuss his problems like a friend without being too judgmental about his opinions and views, even though they might be wrong. Listen to what he has to say to you, and if you think that there is something wrong in his thought process, then try to tell him things that you think are right at the same time giving reasons and concrete examples on why you think it as the right opinion or point of view in an extremely polite and gentle manner. 

I am sure, Mr. X, that this will go a long way in you developing a rapport with him, just like you have always wished for and your efforts will certainly pay off sometime in the near future.parent-child-relationship

We chatted for some more time, after which, the parents took my leave. Though I had spoken my heart out and had tried convincing them of the virtues of being an understanding parent, I wonder when that time would come when all the parents in this world would begin to accept their child in the manner he or she is, without making any comparison with the kid-next-door, without worrying about whether the kid will be successful in keeping the family’s flag flying high, without expecting too much from him or her and loving him or her unconditionally for what he or she is.

Source for Image: http://www.scfamilylaw.com/2013/07/11/study-examines-the-effects-of-divorce-on-childrens-relationships-later-in-life/http://menz.org.nz/menz-issues/june-1998/http://blog.patsnap.com/?p=468

Society vis-a-vis Children!

The other day, I received a call from a very dear friend who gave me the most exciting and in all senses the breaking news of his life, “Dude, I got married.

Wow! Congrats yaar!” came back the reply from my end.

Yup, Thanks. But there is a problem. We have not informed her parents.” After a long long time, I was getting to hear this. On one hand where it sounded like a script from a Bollywood movie, on the other hand there was an apprehension as to what’s going to happen in the near future? How the girl’s parents would react to the feat that their child had accomplished? Would they give their approval or would they boycott their daughter from their family?society

The problem was compounded, thanks to the nature of the marriage that had ensued. The guy belongs to a North Indian family, which is not so rigid when it comes to marrying a girl from a different caste or culture. On the other hand, the girl belongs to a family which is a hard core South Indian Pundit family, who cannot but imagine marrying their daughter in another caste, leave alone marrying her to a North Indian.

The thought of how the girl’s parents would react is making the couple very nervous. Though they had the courage to take this very significant step in their lives, this thought is driving them nuts. The girl fears the worst and is expecting her to be thrown out of her family. The guy, on his part, though he feels happy, is concerned about his girl who is all set to go through what can surely be called an emotional turmoil in more ways than one.

Though we proudly cite living in the 21st century India, there are certain elements in our country and our culture (which is too varied to be classified as one), which makes me wonder whether we have been successful in evolving from that conservative mentality, which personally for me, represent the core when it comes to differentiating between modern and not so modern.

Somehow, in all this hooplah attached to the caste and culture, the 21st century kids and youngsters are caught confused, not knowing which way to tread. On one hand where they witness the intermixing of various dfferent cultures, thanks to the increased movement of people and increased globalization; on the other hand, they are expected to stick to their hard core values being imposed on them by their very own parents and grandparents who want them to keep their family and clan flag flying high.

For a girl, who wishes to see everyone happy around her, it becomes what can be termed as mission impossible. Atleast in this case, if she choses to go along with the love of her life, which she has, she is bound to lose upon the love and affection she received throughout her life from her parents (acting too rigid to understand what their child wants, just because of societal and family pressure) and if she would have decided to leave her boyfriend (at one time and now her husband), she would have to repent throughout her life for having done so (which thankfully has not been the case here).

At the end of it all, if we take a very pragmatic point of view, it is the couple who will be spending their lives together for most part of their life, if we ignore the few interactions that they are bound to be having with their family during those events and celebrations where each and every member of the extended family happens to gather at one place at the same point of time.

But on an emotional level, the couple would certainly want, at least the immediate family to be blessing the couple and welcoming them with open arms. After all, this is what will make them really happy.parent

For the parents who tend to involve their egos and self-respect with their child’s wishes, it is my earnest request to think beyond what the society tells them to think. For them, the point that they need to consider is whether they would want to place their children above in the priority list, over and above the society and the extended family members.

Source for Image: http://www.tcd.ie/research/themes/inclusive-society/, http://www.churstongrammar.com/parents/

The Maalish Waala!

What can a maalish waala possibly teach you in life? If you are thinking just the same and if you are wondering what he could indeed have taught me this very morning, then you cannot afford to miss upon what I am just going to narrate below, taking the liberty of citing the man at times and taking cues from the conversation that I had with him.how-olive-oil-works-3

कहते हैं कि लोग किसी के पास बिना किसी वजह के नहीं जाते. यहाँ तो साहब मंत्री से लेके उनके चपरासी तक सभी आते हैं. मैं ये अपना सौभाग्य समझता हूँ कि मुझे इनकी सेवा करने का अवसर प्राप्त होता है. ज़रूर मैंने पिछले जन्म में कोई अच्छे कर्म ही किये होंगे जो आज मुझे इतने लोगों की तकलीफ दूर करने का एक मौका मिल रहा है.

ऐसा नहीं है कि मैं हमेशा एक सामान सोचता था. मेरे पिताजी जब शुरू में ये काम करते थे और उनके पास अनेक लोग आते थे, तब मैं अक्सर उन लोगों का रवैया देख काफी परेशान हो जाया करता था. मुझे लगता था कि इन लोगो को हमारी तकलीफ क्यों नहीं नज़र आती. बदले में क्या वो हमारे लिए ऐसे काम जो उनके स्थर पे काफी छोटे ही माने जायेंगे, नहीं करा सकते. और अगर नहीं करा सकते तो हम उनकी तकलीफ क्यों दूर करें.

ऐसे ही एक दिन इसी उधेर बुन में अपने पिताजी से मैंने पूछा कि वो क्यों करते हैं ये सब. तो उन्होंने मुझसे कहा, हर चीज़ पैसों या आपकी ज़रूरतों से नहीं तौली जा सकती. हर किसी को किसी से कोई न कोई फायदा ही हो, ये ज़रूरी नहीं. भगवान् कि दुआ है कि उन्होंने तुम्हारे पिता को इस हुनर से नवाज़ा. कहते हैं डॉक्टर भगवान् का ही रूप होते हैं. हाँ मैं मानता हूँ कि मेरे पास वो सारी डिग्री नहीं हैं जो एक डॉक्टर के पास होती है लेकिन भगवान् ने मुझे सबसे बड़ी डिग्री दी है और वो है दूसरों को ठीक कर पाने कि क्षमता. इसी इश्वर द्वारा दिए हुनर का सद्पूर्वक प्रयोग कर पाना ही मेरा सबसे बड़ा धर्म और कर्त्तव्य भी है.

उस दिन के बाद ना मैंने कभी उनसे कुछ पूछा नाही कभी किसी और के हमारे लिए कुछ ना करने पे टिपण्णी की. अपने पिता से ये हुनर सीखने के पश्चात मैं भी इसी में उनकी मदद करने लगा. मेरे पिता का ये मानना था की क्योंकि ये भगवान् की हमारे ऊपर कृपा थी, इसलिए हमें इसका कदापि दुर्रुप्योग नहीं करना चाहिए. वो हमेशा से यही चाहते थे की हम गरीबो का इलाज मुफ्त में ही करें. जो दे सकता था उससे ले लेते थे, और जो देने में सक्षम नहीं था उसका इलाज हम ऐसे ही कर देते थे.

लेकिन कभी कभी लोग हमारे इस बर्ताव का गलत इस्तमाल करने लगते हैं और पैसा होते हुए भी हमें नहीं देना चाहते हैं. बहुत सारे बड़े अधिकारी आते हैं जो हमसे ये उम्मीद रखते हैं कि हम उनका इलाज मुफ्त में ही कर दें. कभी कभी डर के तो कभी ये सोच के कि हमें पैसे के बारे में ज्यादा नहीं सोचना चाहिए हम इन बातों को अनदेखा कर देते हैं.

औरों को देख के कभी कबार बस यही लगता है, कि जब हम इस तरह से अपना जीवन संतोषपूर्वक व्यतीत कर सकते हैं तो और लोग क्यों नहीं. कभी कभी ये मन में ख्याल आता है कि लोगों को कितना पैसा चाहिए. हर कोई एक दुसरे को पीछे छोड़ देने कि होड़ में लगा हुआ है. जितना ही जो ज्यादा पैसा कमा रहा है उसकी और कमाने कि चाह बढती जा रही है. भले ही वो एक बड़ा सा डॉक्टर या बड़े से बड़ा अधिकारी क्यों ना हो.

जब भी अपने बच्चे को देखता हूँ साहब तो मन में एक अजीब सा डर बैठ जाता है कि आने वाले दिनों में किस प्रकार कि स्थिति उत्पन हो जायेगी. पता नहीं मेरा बीटा इन सब के बीच में कैसे रह पायेगा. पता नहीं वो अपना रह गुज़र कैसे कर पायेगा. मगर एक बात तो तय है साहब, मैं अपने बेटे को भी वही सारी शिक्षा देना चाहूँगा जो मेरे पिताजी ने मुझे दी. इसीलिए शायद आज तक मैं अपना सर उठा के संतोष से जीवन व्यतीत कर पा रहा हूँ.Embedding_Ethics_in_Engineering_Education-hero

After having had that conversation with the man, I had no words left in my system. This whole conversation was more than enough to send me down my memory lane. On one hand, where I could remember all the words that my father had spoken to me once, as a child, on the other hand, I was amazed at the kind of ethics and morality that the man had demonstrated, considering the fact that a man in his position might not think in the same manner as he does and might not be so calm about the fact that he is barely able to earn a day’s living and even then, he sees his profession as a mere reflection of what the God has bestowed upon him.

Truly an inspiration and hats off to the guy for being the person that he is!

Source for Image: http://recipes.howstuffworks.com/how-olive-oil-works3.htm, http://www.asme.org/kb/news—articles/articles/engineering-ethics/embedding-ethics-in-engineering-education

The No. 1 Aunty!

I have had the fortune of knowing this wonderful lady for years now. Her husband was my father’s colleague (now retired) and they used to reside right in front of our government alloted house.

Whenever I used to meet her in a social gathering or at either of our homes, she would go on talking about how well her son and daughter were performing in their respective classes and were rewarded for the same by their schools. It seemed as if there were no better kids than hers on this planet Earth.

When it came to her husband, she was not much behind with citation of circumstances when her husband was able to pull off a great feat and was able to restore the dignity of the government department. It seemed that the department was performing well only because of the efforts that her husband was putting in.parents1

Pretentious, as it might sound, all her hopes and aspirations were hooked on to her children and husband. I guess, our mother’s generation belonged to an era wherein they were supposed to derive happiness and satisfaction from their husband’s and children’s success.

Courtesy her efforts, her son qualified the JEE examination and went on to study engineering from IIT Kanpur, which she used to refer to as the No. 1 institute for engineering in India and this time around she had the rankings to boost her claim. If this was not enough, right after completing his B.Tech from IIT Kanpur, he went on to do a PhD from MIT, which is again considered to be one of the best (though for her it was always THE BEST).

Her daughter was not much behind and she went a step further to do an MBA from IIM Ahmedabad, which again the aunty claimed to be not only best in India but also the best amongst all colleges offering the MBA course whether it be in India or abroad.numero uno

The lady, was in true senses, a replica of the numero uno. I am sure she must have derived great pleasure from boasting about her children and husband. I am sure, that must have been the aim of her life. But yesterday, when I met her again, after a long time, she looked very old and dull. As if the exuberence and confidence, that she once used to reflect, was taken away from her and she looked a pale reflection of her true self, the self which I had associated with her.

She could barely walk without the support of her stick which she held in her right hand. At first, she had difficulty in recognizing who I was. It was only after she was sure about the sanctity of the person walking alongside her that she began talking to me in a frank tone.

How have you been, Kush? I met your mother a couple of days back.”—Aunty started the conversation.

Aunty, I am doing fine. How is everything with bhaiya and didi? How is uncle doing? Haven’t met him since ages.”—I joined in.

You know, Kush! Uncle and I have gone old now. We just want to see our kids doing well. It just reminded me that my son have just switched jobs in US. I don’t remember the name of the company. I am sure you might be knowing it. It is the best private sector company in the entire World.”—-As she spoke, I could see it in her eyes, the confidence and joy of being No. 1 was back.

Of course aunty! Both bhaiya and didi have always been there, right at the top.” I smiled back as I took her leave to head back home.

As I was heading back, there was this big smile on my face and I wondered:”Some things do not and should never change.” 🙂

Source for Image: http://webfronter.com/greenwich/DiscoverySchool/menu0/School_Information/Discovery_Parents_Group/Discovery_Parents_Group.html, http://wallpaperswide.com/numero_uno-wallpapers.html

Parents Dilemma!

Every parent wishes the best for his/her child. They want to make sure that their child gets all the things in the World that they desire and wish for. And in turn, try to offer the best they can to their child.

So far so good, but the problem arises when the parent thinks that they know what’s best for their child, because the child might have his own opinions and take on things which can be totally different from what the parent thinks on the same.

When such a situation arises, then the sole aim of making their child happy seems to get lost somewhere in between the arguments that tend to occur amongst the parents and the child.

As a result, the child thinks that the parents are not being very understanding, at the same time don’t care about what they think and want from life. The parents on their part tend to think that their child has gone astray and is not listening to and abiding by the experience that they want to trickle down on to their child from which they believe the child would surely benefit.

The problem takes the form of a frankenstein monster if the two continue to quarrel over what might seem to be a petty matter to a third person. Coupled with the lack of open communication and rigidity on the part of the two parties to the quarrelsome situation, what ensues in the family is stress and tension.parent child

The child might want to run away from such a situation and if he or she is immature enough, he/she might tend to take a step which might prove to be disastrous to him/her as well as to the entire family. In extreme cases, it might result in the child attempting a suicide or even succeeding in such an attempt.

That’s where the parents’ handling of the matter becomes extremely important. The parents, being more mature and supposedly more intelligent, should try to take control of the situation at the same time, should let their child explore the situation in a protective environment that they are very much capable enough of providing.

What this will ensure is that the child will get an opportunity to learn from his/her mistakes at the same time trusting the fact that they have a strong support system in the form of his/her parents who will be there at all times for him/her, no matter what happens.

This tends to give the child immense confidence, at the same time instilling in the child a sense of responsibility, which in turn enables the child to take rational and logical decisions for themselves.

Thus, the parents’ primary role, according to me, is to make the child realize that he/she is very much a mature person capable of making rational decisions in his/her life which is not only good for himself/herself but also good for his/her family.

If the parents are able to do just that, then their dilemma of letting their child take his/her own decisions and taking full control of their life will be resolved and it will in turn lead to a pleasant environment in the family.

Source for Image: http://fknizner.umwblogs.org

The Last Phase

TV serials can sometimes be quite inspirational when it comes to writing. Yesterday, I was watching one such serial, courtesy my dear mom 🙂 , in which the kids don’t really appreciate taking the responsibility of their parents and want to part ways from them by hook or crook.

This made me wonder as to what is the kind of thought process that a person has at such an age. What is it that he or she might desire during this last phase of his/her life? What is it that can keep them happy during the twilight days of their life? What emotional trauma they go through when their own children treat them as a burden and don’t want to take care of their own parents?

How often do we find cases where children become so selfish that they find it convenient ignoring the same people who gave their lives just to see their kids happy and becoming successful.

How is it that people can ignore what their parents have done for them? How can they ignore the sleepless nights that their parents have had when they had fallen sick? How can they ignore the compromises that their parents made in order to fulfill a wish that they might have expressed?

It leaves me in utter disgust when I see people such as the above. More than being disgust, I am amazed as to how a person can so easily forget the wonderful times they have spent in the protective and cosy environment provided by their parents.

Amongst the parents who are deserted by their children, some are able to take care of themselves based on the wealth they have accumulated during their professional life. But there are some who have not been successful enough to have the means to sustain themselves during their old age.

The latter end up being in old age homes provided by our government and a few NGOs, some of which are in a pathetic state due to lack of funds in some cases and more due to the utter negligence on part of the authorities.

This brings us to a point where we can put three fold questions:

1st to the children: “How can you ignore the love and affection that was showered on to you during your growing up years?”

2nd to our government: “How can you ignore the various contributions made by the same people when they were young and who contributed towards country’s GDP?”

3rd to our society: “Is this the kind of social set up that one wishes to see and maintain for thegenerations to come and is this the kind of norms and values that one wishes to pass on to the next generation?”

The questions such as the above still remain unanswered. What matters most though is that people should realize that they need to: hold the hands of the people in their last phase of life who held their hands when they could barely walk.

Source for Image: http://www.merinews.com/article/old-age-homes-bane-or-boon-/157222.shtml; http://www.telegraphindia.com/1050331/asp/calcutta/story_4553153.asp

Get Real

One fine morning, I heard my neighbour’s daughter singing on top of her voice. Every time her song was followed by an assertion “main banogee Indian Idol”.

Well, it was “the” day for her and for many other youngsters like her who want to become Indian Idols, or more than anything else, want to become famous and want to be seen on the Television. Yes! It was time for auditions that were supposed to take place in my city the very day.

The kind of publicity and hooplah surrounding such reality shows has indeed have had an effect on the psyche of parents. The same parents, who might have reacted in an adverse manner hearing their child wanting to become a singer or a choreographer, now react in a totally different manner.

They want to support their child in his/her love for the field of Art that he/she might be interested in. They want to support their child in this quest for success and glory by treading the same path along with their child.

On one hand where there are parents who are able to rationally judge the talent that their child might posess, on the other hand there are parents who desire that their child become famous at any cost without really looking into the kind of talent that their child has and without making any effort whatsoever to enhance the same.

As a result, they end up making a fool of themselves in front of everyone who happen to watch such shows and by fighting with the judges end up setting a very bad example in front of their very own children.

This kind of behaviour on the part of parents coupled with the rejection faced by the child can have a very negative impact on the persona and psyche of the kid and he/she might end up developing complexes and negativity towards the World and towards its people, which might also effect the probability of the child in becoming a responsible citizen later on in life.

What parents need to do thus is to set a good example in front of their childen. Before really encouraging their child to run after easymoney and status, they should try to discover that one thing in their child which the child shows a liking to and then make sure that the child receives training from the best possible in the business.

This will not only help their child develop their skill set in a field that he/she likes, but also increase his/her chances of becoming successful in the field of their choice, which would indeed lead to happiness and satisfaction later on in life.

Source for Image: http://harshumeets.blogspot.in/2011/08/reality-shows-are-better-than-daily.html