At-Ti-Tu-Dine!

A disclaimer right away for this post:

Might have an inherent bias!

If you are wondering what am referring to,

Let me throw few names at you:

Ajeet Singh Kushwaha, Shweta Dasgupta, Saurabh Saxena, Anirudh Syal, Tushar Garg, Vivek Joshi, Jitendra Singh;

What do you think they have in common?

Successful in life, Yes!

Founders, VPs, Directors etc. Yes!

Worked hard at one point of time to become IITians, Yes!

Let me also throw few other names at you:

Ritu Ashar, Atul Satija, Sarita Raichura, Sangeeta Beri, Buta Singh, Parvati Matkate, Zaheer Adenwala, Rahul Varma,

Successful in life, Yes!

Founders, VPs, Directors etc. Yes!

IITians or not,

IIMians or not,

ISBians or not,

Harvardians or not,

Stanfordians or not,

or

Whatever IANS or not,

If you want to emulate the journey and derive inspiration,

or

Somewhat be like the folks similar to the ones mentioned above,

What matters in life is to have the right kind of ATTITUDE towards:

The very concept of success to begin with,

The near and dear ones in life,

A cause that draws you to put all in and work hard,

That routine that you follow day-in-day out to accomplish that very thing,

and

That dire need and responsibility to make a contribution in and give back to the society,

Which, by the way, has contributed immensely in making us who we are today!

Source for the image: https://forbesbooks.com/can-one-bad-attitude-destroy-your-team/, https://www.purewow.com/wellness/positive-mental-attitude

haha-Wrong!

How many times we would have made fun of someone blabbering something we considered wrong

In numerous I guess! 

And each time we might have derived pleasure and might have felt how knowledgeable and accomplished we are! 

Not to mention that the same Mr./miss know it all that we think we are, fall in the above category similar to any other person. 

Erring every now and then, 

Forgetting lets say birthdays of who’s who of our lives, 

Breaking rules, traffic or otherwise at times, 

And in such times, seldom accepting our faults and conveying the much required apology. 

Going to an extent of defending ourselves to our last breath so to say, 

Which might have resulted in a quarrel or worst a fist fight, 

Anybody’s guess on what the consequences of such would have been! 

What do you think would have happen if: 

We would have just apologised the moment that apology was supposed to be rendered,

Probably would have cooled down things to begin with,

Possibly wouldn’t have turned into an angry blame game

And 

More often than not, would have resulted in haha and hihi for the parties involved on reflection of the situation at hand. 

Heard a wise man saying once:

My dear friend and perceived foe, life is too short for a quarrel or an argument.

Guess its time we listened to him for a change and became a bit wiser!

Source for the Image: https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Fun-of-Others, https://www.tekportal.net/quarrel/

I-Good-U

Wondering what this funny looking ridiculous title might be? 

Not a proposal for sure, 

Not related to any pun intended or unintended what so ever, 

Just a simple representation of what many of us choose not to live by, intentionally or unintentionally. 

Let me ask you a very simple question to bring to context what this is all about. 

When was the last time we complimented someone? 

And since its becoming a bit difficult to remember, let me also give you few options: 

Spouse/gf/bf for how beautiful/handsome they might be looking on the day, 

Employees for having achieved that all important little feat which causes one’s company to grow that delta bit, 

Or 

Let’s say house helps for serving us in such a wonderful manner. 

Ya, understandable that we all have our own things to deal with, 

Totally comprehensible we are not always in a good mood so to say, 

Yet, don’t you think we have become too critically oriented to be ignoring the enormous good that surrounds us on a daily basis? 

Be it that simple meal which we are served on a daily basis, 

to 

The very breath that we take for granted every moment of our lives, especially in these times that we are living in, 

It’s high time we realise that: 

Being grateful is not a virtue but a fact of life which must be recognized and appreciated.

And

Before it gets too late, on this wonderful day where we celebrate Yoga,

How about being a part of a journey where one begins to start seeing good in U (the other) and doing good to U—> I-Good-U!

Source for the Image: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/compliments-for-any-person/, https://fcw.com/Blogs/Lectern/2013/08/smiley-ratings.aspx

Opportunus!

We keep talking about this opportunity or that opportunity. 

Someone getting lucky because the roll of the dice was such.

Timing being right, right place at the right time. 

But have we ever wondered about this constant fascination and tendency of attributing everything to the RIGHT situations. 

Well, what are these opportunities and how they fall flat for some and not for others? 

Where do these come from?

What is the source?

Are they created or all laid down?

Are they destined to happen in a certain way for few individuals?

For the not so successful, it might be destiny 

And 

The ones who have made the cut might talk about the efforts they put in. 

Whatever be the version, there is nothing in the world that comes as a grant. 

It’s ultimately the result of the hard work one puts in.

Lets look at it this way:

Result is directly proportional to the effort one makes contingent upon the boundaries that one has created for themselves in their minds.

Is there a chance to expand those boundaries? 

Delta by delta, can we keep expanding our horizons?

No one learnt to walk the very day they were born,

Constant efforts along with some mentorship and support made it possible. 

Why not treat our life as a platform of opportunities to keep expanding each day!

The only opportunity one has by the way is to keep creating opportunities on a daily basis, be it personal or professional. 

The only question being, are we prepared to treat this life as an opportunity to accomplish things we would be remembered for. 

Source for the Image: http://ejmayers.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-origin-of-opportunity.html, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/opportunity

Happiness Overrated?

I wanna be happy! He uttered. 

What’s stopping you, she said. 

And then there was silence.

Well, happiness is so overrated, don’t you think so? 

Why do you say so? She exclaimed.

What is happiness for that matter? 

Nothing but a state of mind. 

He continued:

What if my mind has no bandwidth to think about this aspect of life?

What if I deep dive into something that doesn’t give me time to think about happiness altogether?

What if the very concept doesn’t occur to me?

What if there exist no such endeavour?

For you can choose to be or not depending on your mind’s willingness to do so.

And what is mind after all, a monkey sitting on your shoulders whom you are trying to take control of, all your lives.

After all it’s us the middle class who keep pondering over how to be happy.

The successful have no time neither energy to bother about such things. 

They are too involved and engaged doing something.

And 

As each day goes by, they progress and move towards their well thought out goals.

Only to be appreciated and recognised for their achievements.

A day comes when they depart leaving their legacy behind. 

So, what about happiness? 

She got her turn:

Yes, working day and night does keep you engaged,

Yes, engaging and rewarding as it might seem, 

Do they take a pause to admire the beautiful colours of the flora and fauna around?

Do they find a moment to breathe the fresh morning dew?

Do they smile for no reason, just feeling alive?

Do they cherish the life for no other reason?

And 

Yes, they do leave a legacy but what for and for whom, for they are already gone. 

He listened attentively, 

With

A drop of tear in his eyes, 

A thought haunting enough to make him sad. 

Maybe repenting,

Maybe contemplating what if? 

Was it too late? He wondered.

Time to be happy I guess! She smiled as she had the last word looking straight into his eyes. 

Source for the Image: https://uxdesign.cc/designing-happiness-ac9c56359df, https://www.dreamstime.com/photos-images/happiness.html

Resolutions: USNE-उसने

What do we do when something goes wrong?

or

We meet with an accident?

or

We don’t qualify an exam?

or

We are beaten up by a teacher?

What is the first reaction in such situations?

We try to get into an escapist role, where we start to put the blame on either the:

Situation

or

Other person

You

Have you ever given it a consideration, why it’s so difficult to take responsibility for our own actions?

Why the hesitation of not being able to accept the situation and the consequences of the same, which by the way, happens because of our own actions?

What is it that we fear?

Won’t it be better if we were to stand up for, if nothing else, our own actions?

At least that would make us less:

Insecure,

Fearsome,

And

Make us more:

Sensible,

Confident

Individuals, who are prepared to provide solutions to problems.

So, till the time one realizes that there is nothing like Hum Tum (You and Me),

Till we still have a tendency to delve into the duality of everything in existence,

Till we understand that we are no different from each other,

Why not make a fresh start,

A new year resolution,

Which makes us at least not put the blame on the other person (USNE-उसने).

The only question being, are we prepared to take up this challenge in 2020?

Source for the Image: http://pluspng.com/and-you-png-9765.html

P2P Competition!

You know what, my son Siddharth is doing great in his coaching classes for IIT Jee. Today, his teacher was telling me that he would surely make it to top 100″, says a parent P1 to another parent P2, who is the father of Shreya, who’s Siddharth classmate.

Oh, is it! That’s wonderful. Shreya is somewhat lagging behind in Chemistry. I just hope she is able to catch up, am a little concerned whether she will be able to qualify the exam”, responds P2.

You know what, you should start sending Shreya to this wonderful coaching institute in our neighbourhood, if you really want her to succeed”, P1, being a proud parent that he is, is always on look-out to offer free advise to other parents living in the same community.

I guess, you are right! Let me enrol her in the same program as Siddharth”, conforms P2.

If you are wondering whether P1 and P2 might just be an exception to the rule when it comes to parents demonstrating concerns for their kids, think again, for that’s what you tend to see in majority of parents these days.

What most kids’ routine would look like in today’s competitive world:

5:00 am Good morning

6:00 am Tutor at home, who takes care of kid’s Science and Math lessons

7:30 am Kid goes to school in an air-conditioned bus of the respective school which has curtains, and kids seem to be cut off from the world outside, few among who, spent most of the time in the bus, browsing on the internet, or watching some random video or chit chatting on Whatsapp

3:30 pm School gets over, kid sits in the same bus, comes back home, around 4:30 if he/she is lucky enough and his/her house comes first in the list of the drop-offs

5:00 pm After a quick snack of sorts, kid has some extra-curricular lesson with a relevant tutor coming to the house, be it a piano session or a tabla session, for kids need to excel in not only their studies but also other things, which gives a parent an opportunity to showcase their kid as a trophy of sorts to the who’s who of their society 

6:30 pm Kid goes to a coaching institute, where he/she is supposed to prepare for a competitive exam

8:00 pm Kid comes back to the house, totally drained out, but wait a minute, he/she needs to complete a set of assignments given either by the morning tutor or the school

9:30 pm Kid gets a chance to have his/her dinner and by the time, he/she is able to finish the same, there is no energy left whatsoever to remain awake, yet he/she, courtesy the mobile phone, spends sometime on the same, before falling asleep

family-867

And this continues for the entire year, which goes against the very fundamentals of how a kid should spent his/her wonderful childhood years.

Courtesy the quality of teachers we have in the system, the school system kills the inherent curiosity of a kid, ensuring that he/she is thrown into the rat race from the very moment, he/she is able to perceive the world in a certain manner.

Courtesy the eagerness of the parents to see their kids not lagging behind, the kid suffers tremendous stress, few of them succumbing at times to the same, few who might be lucky enough to not meet the same fate as above, end up spending the wonderful years of their life in a tizzy.

Courtesy the immediate society who are thriving on the vary act of comparison, ensures that the kid, who is so called not able to make it big, ends up going through a mental and emotional trauma, which surely leads to having repercussion in the latter half of their life.

What a waste, I would say!

Just because competing with someone has become the very basis of life, parents have a tendency to put their kid through enormous amount of stress.

Just because a parent considers it as their right to get their expectations fulfilled by their kids, they forget that the very life they have brought into this world is meant to experience and explore, rather than just meeting those man-made targets.

It’s high time that we as a society and parents begin to realise, that what we define as success, is it really the case?

And if not, then why the hell we are bent upon putting our kids through such torture.

My advice:

Calm down parents, be sensible, for this competition among yourselves would end up in being a disaster for not only your kid, but also for the society as a whole.

Source for the Image: http://www.altonschools.org/index.cfm?page=1045

Talking to the Source!

I don’t know, it’s just that my parents wanna get me through to IITs, so be it!“,

When such is the reply coming from a very bright 17 year old girl on being asked casually as to what she would want to do in her life, then surely there is a cause for concern.

As a society, when you see kids committing suicide, reason being not getting good marks or not being able to qualify a particular exam, we need to delve into it at a much deeper level on an immediate basis.

Just imagine the stress and anxiety that kid might have gone through before taking such a drastic step.

What is it that we are trying to inculcate in our kids as parents?

Many parents argue that it’s for their kid’s good that they are pushing them to be successful in life.

Really?

images

Is being sad a part of that very success story?

Is feeling anxious about not being able to fulfil their parents’ dream a part of the process?

Is taking to drugs a reasonable part of their response to the kind of expectations parents have from them?

And,

As parents, are we reinforcing all the above, by pushing them towards the most undesirable thing in their lives at a point in time?

Why, the very source of creation, becomes an enabler for the impending disaster?

Why, the very nurturer becomes the destroyer?

Why, the very so called good intentions, become malign?

For parents, you are the ones who would enable the creation of a sensible or a nonsensical society!

Choice is yours, so why not be sensible about it,

Some food for thought for parents of our generation!

Source for the Image: https://www.ypad4change.org/suggested-dance-parent-etiquette/

Ironical Success!

A sage once asked a man, “Do you want to be successful or secure?

The man replied, “But how are they different?

The sage replied, “Well, for most of the people, the success happens by chance, which makes them more fearful of what if and what if not!”

What the man chose thereafter, let us leave that to history, but what’s more important is to mull over the above a tad bit.

To see whether it’s really happening around us. Are we really becoming that insecure, as we tend to accumulate more and more assets in our lives.

Are we scared of losing things to so called destiny?

Are we looking for some kind of insurance, leave alone the other ones which, in any case, we are choosing to have day-in-day-out, instead of focusing on what to do and what not to do, especially when it comes to our health?

To a certain extent, yes!

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Be it any time of our day, tend to haunt us with questions,

What if the maid doesn’t come today?

What if I were late for a so called important meeting?

What if the investments that I have made are hit by a financial crisis?

What if the real state scenario doesn’t become better?

What if I am not able to travel in business class?

Our minds and thoughts putting us in an unstable mode, where in consequences of situations which hasn’t even happened start to trouble us the very moment we are awake.

No wonder, so much importance is being given to sleeping 8-9 hours a day ;).

What if, the very act of waking up came along with the pleasant thoughts, which instead of making you fearful and insecure brought in fresh air and fragrance of life!

Wouldn’t that be a fantastic way to lead life?

And would it even matter bothering about answering the question which the sage asked, once upon a time 🙂

Source of the Image: http://www.pragyata.com/mag/ashtavakra-the-great-indian-sage-110

 

From Use Me to Need Me?

My first memory of the phrase “Use Me!” is, when as a kid, I saw this cute little dustbin in the corridors of my school, asking me not to throw the wrapper of the chocolate that I had just eaten, on the ground, instead inside the one and only place it should be thrown into.

Indeed the idea of Utilitarianism caught my imagination, which in itself is a fantastic idea to have around oneself, the only catch being, if the very idea is being utilized in a smart way.

Unfortunately, as it has turned out, lot of things from:

Doing Networking to making friends, 

Exploiting resources to minting money, 

Consumerism to Materialism, 

Has led to a state of affairs, where the first thought that comes in all our minds is,

How can we make use of something?

Will I benefit from using it in this way, or I need to find an alternate which can make the utilization more efficient, in turn leading to more profits?

What is that key differentiator/ USP when I go about exploiting the resources?

What this has led to is a complete neglect of the destruction and harm that we are causing to not only this planet but also to the minds of individuals.

Especially the next generation kids, whom we are breeding into robots who would want to run after success the moment they gain some control over their mind and body, the very basis of which is to accumulate as many possessions as possible at any cost.

stock-vector-trash-bin-icon-great-for-any-use-vector-eps-246396961

And then we happily have those table-top conversations about how bad the world is becoming, how difficult it would be for our children to survive and debating about accumulating more and more for the security that we would want to pass on to our next generation.

As it turns out, neither of the table-top conversations nor the accumulation would slow down the tide of destruction,

The only thing which might work, since we still have sometime, is a realization that the very basis of success need not be money; after all:

A mother’s effort and time which she devotes towards bringing up her child, cannot be weighed in terms of money,

So, how about going from a use based thought process towards a need based thought process?

How about slowing down the pace of exploits, giving us time to look at it from a sustainable perspective?

How about giving up a share of profits for a better ecosystem?

How about incorporating other values and parameters as the basis of success with possessions making a very small percentage, as a consequence of what one does and not what one aims to do?

The ball is very much in our court, if we fail to hit the right shot now, doomsday ahead,

But I have full faith in the power of utilitarianism that homo sapiens have got so accustomed to using in their day-to-day life, which would slowly but surely enable all of us to think about the very fundamentals of existence.

Source for the Image: https://www.shutterstock.com/search/dustbin